Bdsm

[Ali_Cat]

What`s your take on it? What do you personally think it is.

Like it?
Hate it?
In between?

Have you tried it/ is it something you`d like to try?
So on and so fourth.

Personally,
I`m infatuated with it.
Going more into depth with that would probably be inappropriate, so i`ll leave it at that. =]

[John Marston]

BDSM isn't my type of thing, eh. I don't like it, but I don't hate it. Whatever floats your boat, I guess.

[Bluesman]

I find it to be sick, dangerous, and I hate it.

[Ali_Cat]

I find it to be sick, dangerous, and I hate it.

Care to further explain?

[Peace God]

I think it's immature to express disapproval and disgust towards something that 2 consenting adults have the right to do within the privacy of their own home.

[John Marston]

I find it to be sick, dangerous, and I hate it.

Depending on how extreme they get. And some people get off that way. BDSM = Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism. Sadism (likes inflicting pain) and Masochism(likes receiving pain) are ways of getting off that are opposites to each other.

I think it's immature to express disapproval and disgust towards something that 2 consenting adults have the right to do within the privacy of their own home.

I agree that it's not exactly the best thing you could do about it, but Ali DID ask for what people thought about it. Still, I guess he could have kept it a little less... umm.... hostile(all I could think of at the time)

[greekboy]

Not for me. I don't like the concept of these things within a loving and respectful relationship. But I don't care if consenting couples want to do it, I just don't want to.

[Ali_Cat]

Here is a blog entry I really enjoyed reading. Alot of people associate bsdm with negativity. They think that because many practices involved in bsdm inflict pain, it is automatically 'wrong'. After all, society has molded and defined what a healthy relationship should be. Loving, caring, compassionate. What alot of people don`t realize is that in most cases, couples who engage in bdsm hold those three characteristics as close in their values as relationships that do not involve bdsm.

Anywho, back to the blog.

What it means to be dominant:

"Recently I was sent a message by one of our wonderful community members – I’m not sure if he wants his name out there, so as usual I’ll just leave him anonymous – however Sir if you want, go ahead and post in the comments and let everyone know who you are :)

He stated that I have been quite vocal about what I feel it means to be submissive, at least from my perspective – however I have never really given my thoughts one what I think it means to be dominant. I’ve certainly written about being a male dominant, in a post about online dating advice for male dominants – however I’ve never really talked about what it means, or how I feel about it.

What does it mean to be a dominant male to me? Some people think that being a dominant is reserved for egotistical people on some kind of power trip. I’m sure these people do exist – and in fact, I’ve had the unfortunate experience of subbing to several of them. That being said, every good dominant male is actually in reality a very giving person, even selfless. In truth, in the vast majority of BDSM scenes, the submissive is truly usually in more control of whats going on than the Dominant. I’d say my life is an exception to that rule, as I’m sure there are others – but in general the best male dominants put the needs and desires of their submissive first. And that’s how it should be for 99.9% of people.

Dominants need to be able to walk this fine line of pushing his desires to the furthest while maintaining the limits of whom he is dominating – all while pushing their submissive’s limits as well so that they have a good experience, and push themselves, but of course not too far. That is a lot of stuff to juggle, there are so many variables to consider – that dominating can be quite a physically and mentally exhausting affair.

I’ve experienced many subs get upset at Masters because they do not want to play – they do not understand just how exhausting it can be to dominate. Many subs feel they get the short end of the stick and that it’s all lemonade and cupcakes for their Dominant – “well you get to do whatever you want, why wouldn’t you want to play” – it can even work on the sub’s self-esteem, as if they are not even good enough to be a slave. The truth is, sometimes going into a scene – knowing everything that it will take to have a good scene can be daunting…so subbies…give your dominants some slack sometimes ;) Dominants, please let your slaves know how you might be feeling!

I truly think that many slaves are selfish in a way – I know I feel that way sometimes. I feel like the good dominant male’s that I’ve had the pleasure of submitting to are more concerned with everyone but themselves. They understand the desires of their submissives, and while to an outsider it may seem they are being cruel, or sadistic to hurt their submissives in the way they do – the reality is that it is like with each stroke of the cane, a hand grazing past her tender moist lips, only to be smacked hard – is like a gift. They are giving us submissives gifts with each stroke, paddle, cane, caress, kiss, gaze.

Now – all that sounded very politically correct – right? Yes, it did…but it’s also very true. What I’m now thinking about is the other side of the dominant. The demanding, unrelenting, selfish bastard that wants what he wants and he will make sure he gets it. Every good male dominant has both of these sides to the coin that is him. If this “bad side” (for the record I don’t think it’s a bad side, just not sure what else to call it) wasn’t there, he would not be able to use it to satisfy our submissive desires. He must constantly tap into it like a resource, and extract just enough to use and balance with his giving side.

Being a dominant is often about being what someone else wants you to be. That sounds weird, even to me…but it kind of makes sense doesn’t it? The person getting hurt, abused, and humiliated is the vulnerable one, so naturally they kind of set the pace.

BDSM is complicated – it takes a long time to sort it out, often fetishes come, go, evolve and cycle through over time. I often compare being a BDSM enthusiast to being homosexual. It’s a huge part of one’s life, it defines us in so many ways – it’s constantly on our minds, it is socially taboo (although getting better, but still a LONG way to go). It confuses us, we feel alone a lot of the time – especially when we’re younger. It can be equally jarring to dominants as to submissives – there are so many feelings and desires we need to sort through.

Appreciate your dominant, they have a hard job. And we love them for it :)

[Ballboy]

I enjoy the thought of being tied up. And even being suspended by the wrists and whipped. Or doing this to someone else.
Doubt if I'd really enjoy if it happened of course. It's just the thought.

[darkdude41]

I enjoy the thought of being tied up. And even being suspended by the wrists and whipped. Or doing this to someone else.
Doubt if I'd really enjoy if it happened of course. It's just the thought.

same for me. though I had a girlfriend who was into bdsm, so I had a little bit of exposure to it. I was the one who would do the bondage stuff to the submissive person. I dont know why the thought of it is so exciting lol

[Magus]

Well, if it is roleplaying and there is no actual pain involved, I have no problem. Otherwise, it is truly a sick and demented shit.

[Ballboy]

Well, if it is roleplaying and there is no actual pain involved, I have no problem. Otherwise, it is truly a sick and demented shit.

Yeah. Scary. But maybe the weirdness is part of the thrill. Idk. Don't really wanna find out.

[Caldwell]

Restraint can be hot, but honestly, stuff that involves pain or violence is just sick.

[justin 13]

Not with me, but whatever rocks ur boat dude.

[xXl0sth0peXx]

Please do not post in threads older than 2 months. :locked: