From Bad to Worse

[Njathind]

Lately I've been cutting everyday, I just get that horrible urge to make myself feel better. I dont know why I get it so often. Distraction techniques dont work, believe me I've tried them all.

*Ice cubes
*Elastic band
*Drawing
*Writting
*Punching a pillow or table

Nothing works for me, I always find my self reaching for the blade. How do I stop? I'm getting scared.

Tonight I lost it completly, I broke down, started sobbing. I grabed my blade and pressed as hard as I could, and swiped accross my arm as quickly as I could, I wanted to go deep, I needed to feel it. I was crying and crying.

I dunno what to do anymore, I cant put on this front anymore. :cry2:

[tombstone]

Sounds like you need help, more than anyone on here can give you. You should go see your GP about getting help.

[Brighter.Tomorrow]

Cutting addictions are some of the hardest to beat. But it's like any other addiction, it doesn't help anything and makes stuff worse.
When I quit cutting, anytime I'd get the urge, I'd either smoke a cigarette, stab a tree with my knife, or sing. Things that work for one person won't always work for another. But understanding that it's a problem does help, from there you learn an exact trigger and possible avoid. Have some faith in yourself, with some will power you can stop.
If you really feel like you need professional help, go see a doctor/psychiatrist about it.

[Quahog]

So you're just going to give up? Just like that?

I'm not going to let you, neither is anyone else here.

Have you tried squishing play doh? playing with sand/mud. There are lots more distractions I could tell you about. Don't give up. There has to be something.

You can also try exercise. Like doing a sport, or what I did, jogging/running.

We're here for you. Don't give up hope.

[Njathind]

Thanks guys, I'm a bit better today :whoops:

I got found on new years eve and so I'm at the beggining of the ladder to getting help, I just dont have the will to do much. Work is suffering, i'm pissing off friends because I dont wanna go out. I've been looking back on things and wish I had never have failed. Urgh :(

I just hate it.

Thankyou so much for the support everyone.

[Fiction]

Nat you should tell your councillor all about this. They can help you more than we can.

[Njathind]

Nat you should tell your councillor all about this. They can help you more than we can.

I guess, a psychiatrist has arranged to come to my house on tuesday, but I think she's more to help with the voices and hullucinations. If its appropriate I'll tell her.

[Fiction]

You managed to tell your psychiatrist about those? Well done! That's great. And yeah if it's appropriate tell her :)

[Njathind]

You managed to tell your psychiatrist about those? Well done! That's great. And yeah if it's appropriate tell her :)

Well not really, the guy who did that assessment I was telling you about already knew because it was on the notes from the hospital. I saw a lot of things in hospital and I didn't hide it well.

[Fiction]

Oh okay. Well she still be as honest as possible about everything :)

[Love.Hate]

I think going to see the counsellor is a good idea.
Have you ever thought about being really harsh and throwing your blades away?
Its hard. But it gets you through the constant "need to cut" phase.

Also i have found recently that exercising lots helps.. Like to the point where its too painful to move and your too tired to pick up the blade.

I know its not the best of distractions, but at the end of the day almost anything is better than cutting.

I hope your okay :hug:
Always here xx

[Njathind]

Love.Hate

Tried throwing the blades away several times hun, it just does not work, I always find myself buying more. I dont have the motivation to do anything. I only go to work because I know if I didn't have anything to keep me busy my situation would be a lot worse than it is now.