I'm scared.

[blueb0mb]

Help!

I don't know what to do, this is gonna sound dumb but i'm terrified of my own dorm room! I can't sleep in there. I feel so anxious when I'm in there. I even prefer sleeping outside on a couch or something. I don't have a roommate, but it's because I don't want one. I don't have any friends either, it's my second year in the university, and I feel so weak still sleeping with a night light on(now it's gotten worst, I just leave the ceiling light on). The only way I can sleep is with a constant noise or my boyfriend on the other line(Now with neither). I hate making my boyfriend go through this with me, I just want him to sleep in peace, and not be worried in the middle of the night because he hears me crying. I always hear strange things in my room(I know the difference between a dripping faucet or random girls closing doors and such). I feel so lonely, i'm not used to being so far away from my mother. I'm not good at socializing with people, i'm scared of talking to them. I want a friend, but I just can't find the courage to just talk to someone. Iv'e tried before and well it didn't go so well.....I just want to be able to sleep again, and not be so terrified. Urgh...

[Quahog]

Well, going to college, is pretty much proving that your able to go into the real world independent. I don't know why you don't want a roomate, but I believe that would solve lots of things. Such as you not having anyone to talk to. Or afraid of being by yourself.

I'm sure that you will find friends to talk to. If people blow you off, then leave it as that. Go on a try to make a friend with another person. Join a club. Or hang out in the library and get to know people.

Talk to your mother on the phone, if you feel homesick. Spend time with your boyfriend, as well as talk to him on the phone.

It doesn't sound dumb. We all have problems, and I'm glad you came here for help.

[Syvelocin]

I'm the same way with sleep. I need a certain amount of light, a certain amount of noise, a certain temperature and a certain amount of blankets on top of me to get to sleep.

Could you get like a fan or something, or maybe even a white noise generator? Consistent noise like that helps me a lot. It also can drown out anything you hear a good amount.

You might want to do something like keeping your blinds or drapes open or whatever, if you have them. I find the moon and street lights give a room just a bit of added light without keeping the big light on. My bed is even right next to one of the windows in my room, right behind where my head goes. If it isn't enough, I have a little desk lamp that is attached to my keyboard that I'll keep on with one of those swirly bulbs, I forget what you call them. They're a bit dimmer than the regular ones, but work just as well. I find it is just the perfect amount of light for me if it's a night where I can't take sleeping in the dark too well.

You could also try turning the timer off on your computer. The timer when your screensaver comes in. Or at least changing it to thirty minutes or something. Computer screens give off a substantial amount of light.

I'm the worst with making friends. Meaning, I've always waited for someone else to talk to me, and I just let the friendship grow from there. You could try joining a club about an interest you enjoy, so off the bat, if you meet someone you know you have something in common already.

And if you were to get a roommate you like who doesn't mind you using a nightlight (maybe waiting till you meet someone who doesn't have a roommate themselves so you know them first, you know), I find having someone else in the room soothes me a bit more than just being alone, sleep-wise. If it's still embarrassing, you could say you use it for decorative purposes. Get one of those attachments with the stained glass. If you have a washroom in your dorm, you could keep the nightlight in there and just keep the door open. I like to have a nightlight in the washroom when I have to get up in the middle of the night so I'm not stumbling and tripping everywhere trying to get the main light on.

I get what you mean about being away from your family. I haven't been able to take being out of the country very well. You really just have to keep your head up, maybe visit your family more often than just around the holidays. And hopefully, through college you can grow accustomed to being without them, but if you don't, when you graduate you can always move closer to them and stay in touch that way. Everyone is different that way. Some seem to not mind being away from their parents at all, and continue to do so after they graduate. Some people, like me, start to get that anxiety, being homesick, that doesn't go away, and they stay close to their parents. Either way is completely understandable at this age.

Hang in there hun :hug:

[blueb0mb]

Thank you for your help you two, it really helped ease the tension.

It's going to be difficult for me to be socially active though, i'm just to scared to talk to anyone! It's like i'm scared of society! I'm usually very happy and outgoing when it comes to being with my boyfriend. If only I can be that confident around other people.

And about "the room" issue, well it's gonna take a while before I can sleep without my boy on the other line or all the lights on. I have a huge air conditioner in my dorm and it does make a constant noise, but it's not enough. Last night when I went to sleep I heard this growling noise like right in my ear! But there aren't any dogs around here. I feel asleep like around 7:30 am and now i'm super tired.

I wish I could get a room mate, but I just don't trust or can relate with any of the girls here, there all to superficial and egocentric! Last time I tried making friends, they toke me to a bar in the middle of no where and just left me there, it was like a meat market! After that I just don't trust anyone here. Plus my obsession with food doesn't really help either.

But for now the biggest issue for me is "the room".

The rest I can take my time with.

[Syvelocin]

How'd you meet your boyfriend then, silly? :P

Trust, me, not every girl will be like that. That's what I thought when I first came here, that they were all shallow. It might be more than you're used to, but there are still some girls worth getting to know at your school, I'm sure. It's just a matter of finding them.

[Brighter.Tomorrow]

Never to worry, we all sound dumb sometime! =3
Besides, you'll never sound dumb for expressing yourself.

First I'd like to mention, most people look for comfort in their Faith. Wicca, Christianity, Buddhism. Something. If you hold a faith, why not look to it for comfort? A little hope and faith can go along way.

Something I do when my mind is to busy to sleep, or I'm nervous(and I've taught this to my friend.), I find something like a Lavalamp, Electric Globe or even a Digital Photoframe, something that will provide a small amount of light, and I count the bumps on my ceiling. If I get nervous, I count faster. it occupies the mind so you can't focus on things bothering you.

Another thing I do is smoke a cigarette before sleep to calm down, but I've found chewing a toothpick or tapping my fingers on something helps as well.

Not everyone is going to be mean, or whatever qualities annoy you, you should try talking to someone. Never know, you could miss out on a new best friend.