Yushi Akairo

[SapphireDragon13]

Yushi Akairo
By: Jenelle

http://i262.photobucket.com/albums/ii100/FirestarOfDarkness13/Sketches/YushiAkairoOriginal.jpg

Hmm... It's been a while since, I've been on... Anyways, this is a random character from the manga, I'm currently trying to write, and I wanted to know what you all thought. Thanks! :)

Drawn with:
-Pencil

~Jenelle

P.S. I'd like to mention firstly, that I have very done little, if any, shading, and two, I know the proportions are a little off...

EDIT: (For darkwoon :) )

http://i262.photobucket.com/albums/ii100/FirestarOfDarkness13/YushiAkairoEdit.jpg

[darkwoon]

I feel like the notice about shadows was in prevision of my incoming comments ;).

And, this may surprize you, but I think that the shading is ok. This is obviously a character study sheet, and having too much shading in the way would have been distracting, as the main purpose of such sheets is to serve as a reference for future work. BTW, you added some shading on the closeup face view, enough to get how the hair is flowing - this is, I think, a perfect choice.

Now, stuff that I think could get some work:

The closeup face view: I think it has serious anatomical problems - the eyes are too close to each other, the skull is not long enough, and the nose shape is weirdly proportioned. The looking-back pose was a bold attempt but unfortunately, it didn't work too well: don't forget you have lots of muscles and tendons at play around the neck - you cannot reduce the head+neck assemblage as a shaped U-boote periscope.

My suggestion: since this is probably going to be a reference sheet for you, scrap the head drawing, and redo it (you've got enough space left on the sheet) - that's not massive work, and it will definitely be of great help later. Take time to get the structure right before fleshing it out. For the looking-back pose, I'd suggest taking a picture of a real person doing the same, and copy what you see - the neck mechanics are definitely difficult to get right.

Profile view: The pose is what bugs me here - the back is making an unnatural arch, and the result although anatomically possible is definitely a constrained, uncomfortable pose. This is not consistent with the front view that looks quite relaxed.

My suggestion: Leave it so, as long as you don't forget that this is not the "normal" way the character would stand. It could be worth redoing it "relaxed" later on, but my guess is that this shouldn't really be an issue for you, so that's a mere "I'd like to see it" than a "you MUST do it" ;).

Minor quibbles: Proportions of some elements seem a little off - the forearms are probably somewhat thicker and longer than they should (compared to the upper arms/chest). The ribcage is probably a little on the thin side of things, especially for a man. But both are minor quibbles, as they are not strong enough to make the character look unnatural or annoyingly off-balance.

Overall, I think this may be one of your best pieces - good work on proportions, attention to the details (I really like how you managed the folds), precision of the lines. The eye study is a nice touch that shows that you are spending time to get smaller bits right. I'm *definitely* looking forward for some future work of yours.

If I had a single gripe to hold, that would be against the "I'm making a manga" idea - it is a narrowing vision of what you want to create. Just aim for drawing a great story with your mind clear of stylistic clichés. It is also better towards your possible readers, as they won't have any predefined opinion about what your work is/isn't about.

(ah, yeah, and another quibble: I'd have liked a bigger scan of the picture... ;)).
Good job!

[SapphireDragon13]

I feel like the notice about shadows was in prevision of my incoming comments ;).

Lol, that might have been a possibility, but I normally try to mention things like that beforehand, regardless. I don't like it when people critique things that I'm already completely aware of. ;)

And, this may surprize you, but I think that the shading is ok. This is obviously a character study sheet, and having too much shading in the way would have been distracting, as the main purpose of such sheets is to serve as a reference for future work. BTW, you added some shading on the closeup face view, enough to get how the hair is flowing - this is, I think, a perfect choice.

Thanks. :)

Now, stuff that I think could get some work:

The closeup face view: I think it has serious anatomical problems - the eyes are too close to each other, the skull is not long enough, and the nose shape is weirdly proportioned. The looking-back pose was a bold attempt but unfortunately, it didn't work too well: don't forget you have lots of muscles and tendons at play around the neck - you cannot reduce the head+neck assemblage as a shaped U-boote periscope.

Hehe, I knew you would say that. :P I have problems with facial anatomy, because I normally (unintentionally) draw the eyes too large, in comparison to the rest of the face. That always makes it look like they're too close together, and that results in the awkward position of the nose...

My suggestion: since this is probably going to be a reference sheet for you, scrap the head drawing, and redo it (you've got enough space left on the sheet) - that's not massive work, and it will definitely be of great help later. Take time to get the structure right before fleshing it out. For the looking-back pose, I'd suggest taking a picture of a real person doing the same, and copy what you see - the neck mechanics are definitely difficult to get right.

I'll take that into consideration.

Profile view: The pose is what bugs me here - the back is making an unnatural arch, and the result although anatomically possible is definitely a constrained, uncomfortable pose. This is not consistent with the front view that looks quite relaxed.

This is a mistake that I make fairly often, when drawing, because I severely struggle with drawing profile views of people, especially when it is a view of their entire body...

My suggestion: Leave it so, as long as you don't forget that this is not the "normal" way the character would stand. It could be worth redoing it "relaxed" later on, but my guess is that this shouldn't really be an issue for you, so that's a mere "I'd like to see it" than a "you MUST do it" ;).

If/When I change it, I'll make sure to upload it for you. :)

Minor quibbles: Proportions of some elements seem a little off - the forearms are probably somewhat thicker and longer than they should (compared to the upper arms/chest). The ribcage is probably a little on the thin side of things, especially for a man. But both are minor quibbles, as they are not strong enough to make the character look unnatural or annoyingly off-balance.

The forearms, particularly the right one (on our left), from the front view, were what I was acknowledging, when I mentioned the proportions being a little off. And also, just the proportions, in general, aren't perfect.

Overall, I think this may be one of your best pieces - good work on proportions, attention to the details (I really like how you managed the folds), precision of the lines. The eye study is a nice touch that shows that you are spending time to get smaller bits right. I'm *definitely* looking forward for some future work of yours.

Merci beaucoup!! :D

If I had a single gripe to hold, that would be against the "I'm making a manga" idea - it is a narrowing vision of what you want to create. Just aim for drawing a great story with your mind clear of stylistic clichés. It is also better towards your possible readers, as they won't have any predefined opinion about what your work is/isn't about.

Hmm... To give too many details would ruin the surprise, but I can say that it is NOT:

-Hentai
-Romantic Comedy
-Another manga about shinigami-human relations
-Another manga about a group of teenage girls becoming super heros

I hope that helps, lol. :P

(ah, yeah, and another quibble: I'd have liked a bigger scan of the picture... ;)).
Good job!

If/When I correct the profile view, I'll upload it in a larger format.

Thank you for all your help!! :)

~Jenelle