Perverted?

[MichaelAdams1993]

Ok so I have an issue. I'm a junior in high school and I think I might have a crush on an eighth grader....

I feel like a total perv because of this. I mean I think about how next year its just a senior and a freshmen but that still doesn't seem right to me. I mean in the big picture 3/4 years apart isn't that much, I mean I have friends whose parents are farther apart and my aunt/uncle are ten years apart. I just can't help feeling sick and twisted about this though, its having an effect on me. I'm going to be eighteen at the end of this year and then it won't just feel wrong but it'll be like ILLEGAL!

What do I do? Am I just being paranoid? Do I have a problem?

[The Madness.]

It might seem weird right now, but like you said, when you're older it's really not that big of a deal. Next year it won't seem that weird. I know a freshman and senior going out. My parents are 3 years apart and grew up together. 3 years won't seem that big of a difference next year to most people. Some might go "OHHH THAT'S NOT GOOD SHE'S A CHILD" but really it won't. If she's a mature 14/15 year old, it can work.

[scuba steve]

At this age even a year apart can be a big gap when considering dating someone, regardless that you like the girl I would still say that you should forget about the idea since your going to be 18 very soon and yes, it will be illegal. I had a friend who I use to go to school with he was seeing a second year (13-14) when he was in the school's senior year I think he was 16 at the time and he was actually hassled by the school because of it.

The differences really do disappear as you get older though, a couple who's very close to my mum & dad and I would refer to as aunt and uncle, they are ten years apart.

[Skeptical Bear]

I think people freak out when they see that because at that age, your mind and body are still developing so when you're in your thirties and marry someone younger than you by like 8 or 9 years, it isn't that big of a deal because you're both hopefully in the same state of matter in mind and body. Just my theory but I don't think you would be perverted. Next year it would sound fine if you both dated.

[Origami]

First of all-
Pervert– noun
10.
a person who practices sexual perversion.

Not quite the norm for a pervert. Anyway...

I see it as this; If the concept of dating someone so much younger than you troubles you, don't do it. I mean, I'm a senior and my girlfriend is a sophomore, almost the same gap and we have no problems, especially considering I'm eighteen and she's still fifteen. If it doesn't bother you, get her parents approval, avoid sex, and think smart. It's that simple.

[Severus Snape]

I think it is so stupid for society (and the fucking legal system for that matter) to label an 18 year old a pedophile for being attracted to a 14/15 year old. It is completely natural! Why is it that at the magical age of 18 it becomes illegal? I say pursue whatever you consider worthwhile to pursue, but do so in full knowledge of any legal ramifications of getting too intimate with someone 3-4 years younger at this stage of your life. I don't think it is right, but its something we all have to deal with until we collectively wake up and realize our puritanical sex laws are ridiculous.

[Iron Man]

It would be odd, especially if you throw in the reaction of your families. When she does get to high school, the distance between freshmen and senior is almost taboo. At my school, if a freshmen girl is dating a guy that is a senior, she would be considered a slut (no offence). Think about what is right in your heart and mind versus what is right in society.

[MichaelAdams1993]

Ok all of you are taking about how it won't be a big deal as long as you talk to her parents and avoid sex etc. etc. However you seem to have missed the deatil in my signature and profile that I guess I assumed would be noticed....I'm gay, there for this crush isn't on "her" its on "him". I feel like people would be even more disgusted because they would feel the guy/guy relationship was just the icing on the cake in the case of it being perverted.

Does anyone else get what I mean here?

[Iron Man]

Ok all of you are taking about how it won't be a big deal as long as you talk to her parents and avoid sex etc. etc. However you seem to have missed the deatil in my signature and profile that I guess I assumed would be noticed....I'm gay, there for this crush isn't on "her" its on "him". I feel like people would be even more disgusted because they would feel the guy/guy relationship was just the icing on the cake in the case of it being perverted.

Does anyone else get what I mean here?

It would have made sense to put that you were gay just in case. Still, I would worry about the age difference before the guy/guy thing.

[MichaelAdams1993]

It would have made sense to put that you were gay just in case. Still, I would worry about the age difference before the guy/guy thing.

I'm not worried about the guy/guy thing. I'm worried that the fact its two gay guys is going to make the age thing seem like an even bigger deal. There may be ways to cope with it if it was an older guy and younger girl (or visa versa) but with two guys I feel like people are going to be even more judgemental and stuff...

[Severus Snape]

Ok all of you are taking about how it won't be a big deal as long as you talk to her parents and avoid sex etc. etc. However you seem to have missed the deatil in my signature and profile that I guess I assumed would be noticed....I'm gay, there for this crush isn't on "her" its on "him". I feel like people would be even more disgusted because they would feel the guy/guy relationship was just the icing on the cake in the case of it being perverted.

Does anyone else get what I mean here?

Oh well that only changes things if the parents involved have something against gays.

Is the boy gay as well?

[MichaelAdams1993]

Is the boy gay as well?

To be determined...

I sense some flirty-ness but he isn't an obvious flamer and being the he is in eighth grade and thats a seperate building it's hard to get a timely idea.

[Origami]

Ok all of you are taking about how it won't be a big deal as long as you talk to her parents and avoid sex etc. etc. However you seem to have missed the deatil in my signature and profile that I guess I assumed would be noticed....I'm gay, there for this crush isn't on "her" its on "him". I feel like people would be even more disgusted because they would feel the guy/guy relationship was just the icing on the cake in the case of it being perverted.

Does anyone else get what I mean here?

I agree with Ender, I don't read sigs for one.
Anyway, gay or straight, it doesn't matter. Same deal, same approach.

[Bluesman]

Ok so I have an issue. I'm a junior in high school and I think I might have a crush on an eighth grader....

I feel like a total perv because of this. I mean I think about how next year its just a senior and a freshmen but that still doesn't seem right to me. I mean in the big picture 3/4 years apart isn't that much, I mean I have friends whose parents are farther apart and my aunt/uncle are ten years apart. I just can't help feeling sick and twisted about this though, its having an effect on me. I'm going to be eighteen at the end of this year and then it won't just feel wrong but it'll be like ILLEGAL!

What do I do? Am I just being paranoid? Do I have a problem?

Meh not that big of a deal as long as you're both fine with it. 14 and 16 is only 2 years... I'm an eighth grader and my girlfriend is a sophomore and we made that work so it should be ok.