My Cutts.....

[EvilDeathMist]

Ive been trying not to cutt or gash but its sooooo hard.I tryed the ice cube thing and it turns out i like the cold and i keep doing it. And now for some odd reason it looks like a hicky. It dosnt release any stress. Tonight im struggling not to gash (january 31, 2011 @ 9:45 p.m.) but im like an inch away from caving in...! I try to read but the books i read are kind of suicidal and has to do with death usally. And when i listen to music it just makes me sad and i want to cut evan more. I'll admit i got a problem that i need to stop but i hate sycatrists and i hate counsoulers. I have a hate twards them. You know i try to see whats making me upset but then theres everything going through my head and my mind just goes nuts.The only reason thing i can guess to why i gash is becausei have like majior anger issues and thats a way i take it out on myself and because it feels like my whole life is falling apart....
1. my dad is dying and evan though i dont show any emotion twards it... i do care and it bothers me......
2. my only closest friend that i acually trust and never stabs me in the back..and looks out for me moved...
3. kids in my school never talk to me unless i yell at them too...
4. (evan though hes dying... ) hes always asking questions that bother... such as.... (1) Q:are you pregnant?A: NO (2) do you do drugs?A:No (3) Q: Are you having sex A: No (evan though these answers are no every single time he still asks and i know hes asking cause he cares.. but still he knows me better than that)
5. it seems that no one in my school likes me thay all stab me in the back evan my friends except the one.....
Anyways............
Is there anyone else who is struggling like me?
Do you do anything to get your mind away from harming yourself? If so, what?
How often do you cut and struggle to not cut?
Why do you cutt?
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BTW.. i caved :(

[HeroesAndCons]

Try to find books with a happier message and try another healthy coping method try to write everything thats bugging u in a peice of paper and burn it (safely)

I cut cause of my depression and stress and past thoughts

[silent.no.longer]

Stuff i do to distract me from cutting is reading a book usually a love story, look up something funny online like texts form last night that just make me laugh, sometimes exercising helps like dancing or doing yoga, listening to happy music can sometimes change my mood as well. I cut when my emotions overwhelm me. I hope this helped.

[Quahog]

First off, I been in your shoes. It's alright. You're not alone. I'm pretty sure you can still be able to talk to your friend over email and things like that.

If people in school aren't talking to you, or look at you weird, then just brush them off. I'm sure you will find someone at school you will click with.

I took up track, and jogging to get rid of my cutting. I cut because I had family/personal problems, and I used running/jogging as a way to release all of it. I really hope that you end up finding something that will distract you from cutting.

I have courage in you to stop cutting, yes I agree, it isn't easy, but I have faith in you. It takes a lot to let others know. I was afraid of psychologists too, but they are only there to help you.

If you only feel safe coming here, that's alright too. There are people who have been on the same road as you, and can offer you help. Heather suggested writing things down, and I agree with that. There is also the non self harm calender. That's also a good idea.

[georgiamay]

last week I was having a huge urge to cut, so I watched finding nemo. It sounds stupid, but it worked, I didn't cut. Maybe try and watch a happy film, or listen to happy music instead of depressing stuff, because that makes me feel worse.

You could try exercising, like going out for a run or something.

To answer your questions:

1) I suppose I am struggling a little, but I'm getting there, baby steps.
2) Like I said, happy films/music/books. Or sometimes I just get myself out of the house, so I actually can't self harm.
3) I struggle to not cut nearly every day. I cut... well, I suppose it depends. right now I'd say once or twice a week, but I've been through stages where I've gone months without it.
4) I don't know, it depends on the day/situation. It varies a lot.

[EvilDeathMist]

:) thank you your comments mean a lot.... and the music thing any type of music i listen to will make me cry idk why but it does and its kinda weird....

[Quahog]

:) thank you your comments mean a lot.... and the music thing any type of music i listen to will make me cry idk why but it does and its kinda weird....

Well, I've had lots of friends/family members pass away. When I hear songs that they used to always sing, or were their favorite song, I start to cry. I just try not to listen to them.

But every song you listen to will make you cry? Wow that's really crazy. I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but if you listen to numb by linkin park, that really isn't a song to really motivate yourself. I suggest listening to happier songs?

[EvilDeathMist]

can you give me an example......

[Nevermore]

I listen to music, write poetry, and exercise. I focus more on not eating and getting worse into my eating disorder.
I can't make it past two weeks. I sometimes do it multiple times a week, sometimes when I was really bad, multiple times a day. However I'm getting better.
I self harm due to drepression, anxiety, DID, paranioa, stress, PTSD, and sexual abuse.