I hate food...

[Nevermore]

I hate feeling hungry and wanting to eat. I hate feeling sick afterwards. I'm just sick of it! I'm tired of feeling terribly fat all the time. I gave into the food urge these last 2 days. I never ate a suffiecient amount of food. However I ate meat, and I ate more then the usual me starving myself amount. I ended up eating twice a day instead of once. This made me feel terribly fat. I just want to cry. All those carbs are inside of me, and i'm the only one to blame for it. I have into my hunger and I hate it. I wanted to throw up so badly but my friend wouldn't let me. I'm just sick of this. Part of me knows there is hope, just a few days of less than 400 cals, and I'll be back to my weight I want to if I gained any. I don't even want to look at that scale I'm too ashamed. I'm going to run for an hour a day every day. Part of me though, wants to eat whatever I want whenever I want, and I hate that part of me. I hate it because it makes me fat. My mom is getting worried she's noticing. My friend is threatening to tell her because I'm more then 8 lbs now underweight and to him I look sickly thin. I just don't know what to do anymore. I need to punish myself for giving into food. I'm just so done with this food nonsense, I'm obsessing over it. Look at me posting about food. I'm letting myself think of food too much. FML!!

[Alaph]

You need to eat more.

[Fiction]

Sammy, I think you know deep down that you are not eating enough. Although there are two different things. What you feel, and what you know. You know it's not enough, and that eating more is better, but you can't help but feel like it's too much. I understand, I feel the same.

I've binged too the last few days and I understand how you feel, but honestly, it's a good thing. Making yourself throw up would not have helped anyway. It damages your vital organs and your teeth and doesn't get rid of that much of the calories you consumed.

You've posted here a lot now. Maybe it's time to get help? It's obvious this isn't getting better, maybe you should get help before it gets even worse?

Feel free to contact me if you want to talk :)

[Kitty]

You need to eat more.

I'm sorry but things aren't just as simple as that. There is a lot more too it.
Most of us don't choose not to eat. And duh duh we are anorexic.
There's so many complex thought and twists behind our minds. It's not as simple as just to start eating again.

Im sorry but Sammy is going through a hard time and it's not effective to just say eat more.

Sammy...you need to look behind the clouds of misjudgment and at east have a few more calories or have vitamin tablets. And remember guys like figures not sticks ;) <3 I'm aways here if you need <3 xxxxxxx

[Charleigh]

You need to eat more.

LOL. No shit :rolleyes:
You can do it sis, I know you can!
Here if you wanna talk ok?
:hug:

[Quahog]

Your friend is only trying to be supportive by threatening to telling your mom. I'm glad that your admitting to your problem, as that if the first step. If you need help, don't be afraid to tell someone about your problem. Your mother has every right to be worried. We don't want anything bad to happen to you. We are all here for you.

[Nevermore]

Kathy- You're right, there is a difference between knowing, and feeling. I just unfortunately give into my feelings, then thinking rationally. You're right, throwing up is not good. You're also right about posting here alot. I've lost a lot of weight from not eating and exercising half of what I ate away. I can't get rid of this on my own I need help. I'm just afraid. I'm terrified that if I get help I'll gain weight, but I guess the help I get will help me get over my fear eventually. Plus it would be great to be free and be able to eat all kinds of foods whenever without constantly counting. Thank you. :)

Thank you Katie. :D I think I will start taking at least vitamins. <3 :)

Thank you Charlie :)

Jesse- I think my mother knows. She's always secretly known I believe. She's seen past my excuses of I'm not feeling well, and oh it's the meds, I don't feel like eating. That only works so many times. She's threatened if I go below 109 lbs, I will be put in the hospital. I am 100 lbs currently. Telling her will send me to a place I fear most, but who knows maybe it will help me. I just need to mentally prepare I guess. A part of me wants to get help, but the other part is like if you get help, you'll get fat. However I guess I need to go with facts, and just tell her I need help. Perhaps talk to my psycologist about it first. Ask her for her advice.