Couldn't stop

[Nevermore]

So two nights ago, I gave into my urge. However unlike any other time before, I felt like I couldn't gain control. No amount of cuts would suffice. I wanted to go deeper and deeper, but was sadly to afraid. I feel like a wimp. My current cuts aren't that shallow. I've probably needed stitches for some, not this last time I failed, but in the past. I just felt like I couldn't stop cutting which scared me. I was going to wake my parents to bring me to a hospital so I'd have to stop. However I chickened out with that as well. I just don't know what to do. I want to stop, I just feel like I'll never be able to rid this addiction.

[georgiamay]

:hug:

I know how you feel. The last time I tried to stop completely, I relapsed and went to make just one cut... but then I just had to keep going, and i had to cut deeper, and make more and more cuts. I ended up with a ridiculous amount.

You're not a wimp, and you didn't fail. Just keep going, and stay strong. I know it's not as simple as that, but people slip up from time to time. But we fall so we can learn to pick ourselves back up again, and soon, we all learn.

Things always get better at some point hun. :hug3:

[Mike321]

Dont be too hard on yourself, we all have slip ups and set backs from time to time, and you are by no means a wimp.
You wont feel like this forever, things will get better, yeah its going to take time and maybe hard work sometimes, but you wont have to put up with this forever.
You can beat this, you have everyone support and help on here, you can do it

[Nevermore]

Thank you guys. :) Do you guys think I should go to the hospital next time, or just deal with it?

[georgiamay]

depends how bad they are. If they're stitches bad, then go to the hospital. But I don't see why going to the hospital would be necessary unless you're a big risk to yourself.

[Nevermore]

The only reason I am considering the hospital is because I was fearful I'd cut too deep to the point of needing stitches. Also to get time away from tools, so I couldn't hurt myself. I know this doesn't make much sense, just simply walk out of my room to get away from the tools, but I'd find something else. I thought if I went there for 2-3 weeks, I'd have to suffer the urge without harming and make it easier to not harm myself. I want to stop, I figure the first few urges in the hopsital without anything will make it easier the next time. Sort of forcing myself to go over two weeks, which I haven't been able to do in months.

[MadManWithaBox]

The general rule is, if you can't stop it bleeding, or you'e cut deep enough you can see the fat, you need stitches. If you think if it does, then do. I've had plenty of stitches, hurts like shit, but better than risking infection.

[Syvelocin]

The only reason I am considering the hospital is because I was fearful I'd cut too deep to the point of needing stitches. Also to get time away from tools, so I couldn't hurt myself. I know this doesn't make much sense, just simply walk out of my room to get away from the tools, but I'd find something else. I thought if I went there for 2-3 weeks, I'd have to suffer the urge without harming and make it easier to not harm myself. I want to stop, I figure the first few urges in the hopsital without anything will make it easier the next time. Sort of forcing myself to go over two weeks, which I haven't been able to do in months.

Hun, if you feel like you'd use something else if you were to not be around your tools, I don't see how you wouldn't do the same in the hospital. There are a number of things you could hurt yourself in hospitals. Sadly, they're not as safe as they seem to think they are. I've seen a number of paperclips, staples, even screws from the toilet paper holders being left around, and the kids who self-harm actually using those things to break skin or open up old cuts. And cutting in the hospital is the last thing you want to do, trust me.