SlightlySane
January 30th, 2011, 09:00 PM
He stormed into his room throwing himself at the bed. The boards under the mattress made a small cracking sound. He took no notice to it however, he was too upset to care about the damage he may have done to the bed frame. He pulled a pillow to his face screaming into the cool underside of it. Tears were streaming down his face and his hair was sticking to his sweating forehead. With red blood shot eyes he looked into the body length mirror across the room and wondered who the boy staring back at him was. It certainly wasn’t him, it couldn’t be. At 6’ 3” and 230 lbs of pure muscle he was the essence of masculinity. When he looked into the mirror though, it was a small boy staring back at him. A boy who had never been more scared in his life. His tears were dry now but the sobbing didn’t stop. He continued to scream into his pillow with a rage that he could make no sense of. He hadn’t even had a chance to change out of his sweat drenched clothing he had worn on his morning run. It wasn’t even 7 am yet and the sun had yet to rise. He kept replaying the horrible thought that had his tears starting over again. He looked at his phone, but no one would be awake at this time on a weekend to respond to his messages. At 19 years old he never would have thought he could ever feel so scared and alone. Usually, being the man he was, he played the role of a guardian to all his friends when they felt feeling such as this. Who would be there to protect him now? Minutes seemed to last for hours as he lay on his bed clutching his pillow so tightly his hands began to ache. The bedroom was silent yet the thoughts swarming his mind seemed to create a buzz that refused to die down. There’s no school on Saturdays, so the fear of his emotions showing wasn’t there. He slowly began to take deep breaths and the pounding in his heart steadily transformed back to it’s typical rhythm. He dried his eyes on the already stained pillow case and cleared his nose with the tissues on his side table. Turning on his back he began to relax and regain a clear state of mind. Looking to his mirror again he no longer saw a small scared boy anymore, nor did he see his common macho man self. Now, staring back at him, was someone new. He had changed some how in all this mess of emotional explosion. Still he wondered how something could have released all his controls and allowed this show of sadness to be revealed. Never had he felt a fear in his life so great as this one. Slowly one more tear rolled down his cheek as exhaustion gripped him tight until he was peacefully asleep. He would awake within the hour to realize it was just a dream, he had been frightened by a nightmare. Though it was a different nightmare than most, it scared him just the same. As he rolled over and began to fall back into a slumber, he whispered to his ear,
“Never ever let me go.”
“Never,” he replied.
“Never ever let me go.”
“Never,” he replied.