This just sucks.

[screamtobeheard]

I'm going to be really straightforward here, because I really need to just rant. Typically, on a school day, I eat a light breakfast of 100 to 200 calories, depending on the minimum I can get away with. I eat either no lunch or, if someone comments, I'll eat fruit up to maybe 75 calories. Then I go to swim practice and burn about 800 calories on a typical practice. I come home and have to eat dinner, but I eat light, typically 400 calories if they make me eat bad. Let me tell you, I hate this. All I want is to stop eating. Completely, and I would if people weren't watching me.

Anyway. We've had three snow days in a row, and I've had to eat "normally," which basically feels like bingeing. I've probably purged five or six times this week. And it doesn't make me feel any better. I've gotten some of the calories out, and with swimming, it won't realistically make me gain weight, but I hate it. I just hate food. I hate it being in my body. I just want my stomach to be void of anything but calorie-free liquid. I can't wait until I graduate and go away to college. No one will make me eat. I'll be so thin. And that's honestly the thing I want more than anything else.

I hate this so much. But I can't stop.

[Fiction]

I know exactly how you feel. You really don't want to eat, but you do really. You just can't cope with how it it makes you feel. You want to stop feeling like you after you eat. There are things you can try such as not weighing yourself, not counting calories or looking at what other people are eating and realising what you're eating is not a lot. Although you've been posting on here for a while now, it doesn't seem like it's going to go away on your own. I think it's time to try and get some help Amanda, before it gets any worse.

Good luck, contact me if you want to talk :)

[Kitty]

babe...i know how you feel completely. But when you are older when you look back on this you will see what you done, what regrets you done.
I met this girl in hospital and she done this, she just didn't want to eat. SHe was weeks away from dying and had a tube shoved down her throat.
That's what will happen if you don't eat. And trust me...being tubbed is the worst feeling ever.
Your stomach hurts like hell every time you eat because your stomachs not use to it. Your stomach gets bloated to extreme because your so starving.
And when you do eat again you will have 30% more fat than you did before you started starving.
YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF IT.
Talk to a proffesional about it. They can help you before it's too late and you end in somewhere such as the Pheonix.
And eating disorder can ruin your life and close so many doors.
Me, i was training to be a dancer, some thing people will look in awe too, now i'm not even allowed to walk to school.
I have to weigh more i did before i started because the doctors won't leave off me.
You will do better in life with out eating problems.
You can be skinny without a eating disorder or doing anything silly which can wreck your life. It's wrecked mine, and i hope you listein to me :( <3

[screamtobeheard]

Honestly, I don't want to eat at all. I don't usually have even the slightest desire to eat. It's just that my family literally watches me. And makes me. And I don't want them to think anything's going on.

:/ I guess I really should seek help. I'm just absolutely terrified. Thanks, everyone.

[Alaph]

I'll be so thin. And that's honestly the thing I want more than anything else.



No, you really don't want that.
You have to eat to live.
That's just the way it is.

You need to get rid of your hate of eating.

[screamtobeheard]

No, you really don't want that.
You have to eat to live.
That's just the way it is.

You need to get rid of your hate of eating.

I'd love too, I just don't know how. :/

[Quahog]

I'd love too, I just don't know how. :/

You need to speak with a professional. You need to talk to someone, who deals with people that have eating disorders.

[screamtobeheard]

You're probably right. I see a counselor at school, so maybe I could speak with her about it.