Intimate relatioship after rape..

[XxMurderedKissesxX]

So im currently dating this guy, who knows about my self harm & the fact that I was sexually assulted...I can have drunken one night stands no problem, because that person didnt mean anything to me and I was intoxicated. But with him its different. I dont want to have to be drunk when we get...intimate. But I freeze & tense up whenever anyone touches me sexually and im not under the influnece of anything. Idunno what to do. I dont want to screw the relationship up because I have issues. Help??

[nick]

Well if your boyfriend knows then hopefully he will be sympathetic and not rush you into anything that you are not comfortable with. Is this something that you received any professional counselling for, if not it would be a good idea to speak to your doctor and see what's available.

How would it work if you took charge when you get intimiate, you explore his body and make all the moves?

[Charleigh]

Do whatever you feel comfortable with. Never do things to please other people, you cant help it if you arnt ready for such a intimate stage. Why dont you explain to him and tell him whats happend, and you would like to do things as and when you are both ready?

Good luck, and im here if you need to talk
:hug:

[Quahog]

Have you ever talked to a therapist about what happened to you. It seems you have some sort of post traumatic problems. If your boyfriend knows what happened, I'm pretty sure he will be supportive and understanding and you both can have a good relationship.

[Bluesman]

If your boyfriend knows what's happened to you then he should be able to be sympathetic about it and let you take your time. If he's not then he probably just wants you as his sex toy and isn't worth keeping.

[TheSleepingInsomniac]

It might take a while and you may never get over it but i want to help you put it behind you.
You have a loving supportive boyfriend who i am almost 100% sure will be supportive if you need time to heal.
PM me if you ever need to talk i don't care what the time is i don't sleep much.
P.s i know that you've probably heard this before but your attack is not your fault.

[Bougainvillea]

First, I think you having drunk one night stands is not only desensitizing yourself, but putting yourself at greater risk of experiencing another attack. If you want to have good intimate relationships, you can't put yourself away from everyone and intoxicate yourself.

I think you just have to ease up, and get comfortable around him. If he knows about your problems and hasn't tried anything I'm sure he would be patient and understand. Just go along with it, and if you feel uncomfortable to the point to where it's obviously a negative tone from him, break it off.