I am conflicted.

[charlie grey]

I'm very new here still, but I joined for advice, so hope I get some responses :)

I am sixteen and come from a life where heterosexuality and family tradition is considered pretty important. That's OK with me, as I can't wait to meet the right girl and settle down and make a family some day. I am attracted to girls and have had a few relationships so far.

However over the last two years or so I have accepted myself that I am at best bisexual. While I am attracted to girls and have 'no problem' with them (if you get me), while my friends are staring at a hot girl when we're out, I catch myself always admiring the cute boys.

I haven't had any male intimate relationships and only a good friend (who is gay) knows about my bisexuality. My best friend is straight but very good looking and constantly tries to hug me, but for some reason I constantly reject him, maybe out of shame or fear internally.

As I say, I can't wait to have a family down the track with a great girl. But I feel so conflicted inside as I yearn for some of the guys I meet and some I see just around me. What can I do.

• charlie

[wiip]

talk to your closest friend about it privately. Hear what he says.

Enjoy yourself with guys now, go to parties, see what happens... then you'll know what you feel best doing.

I think you'll probably end up married to a girl, but first having some flings with both ;P

[greekboy]

Hi Charlie, what you are experiencing is absolutely normal and you should not draw too many conclusions just yet from what you think that your body it telling you. Puberty hormones are very powerful and they affect your mind as much as your body. It is a normal male reaction, including heterosexuals, to notice other guys and even form relationships with them based upon their physical appearance. Your reaction to your straight friend hugging you is also perfectly normal and is typically about your fear of other people's reaction to the event.

You should take definitley take your time in your assessment of this but equally you should try out all of these feelings in whatever scenario you feel comfortable with to see how you really react to them. You can have strong physical attractions to and emotional interest in somebody without actually wanting it to develop into an intimate longstanding relationship. If, after such an assessment you do feel equally strongly about an involvement with a boy or a girl, then you will probably conclude that you are bisexual, but try before you buy. Good Luck.

[Quahog]

I know. You can't help what you're attracted to. I guess being bi-sexual, you equally like both sexes. My advice to you, is that you find someone you love, whether its a boy or a girl. Many bi-sexual people love one sex more than the other. I don't know if that is your case, but it's alright to be attracted to both sexes, and you shouldn't be confused, or fearful.