I dont get it.

[Etzim]

OK today January 27 2011, I was going to hang out with a friend. So i drive over too his house, I pick him up and we are going to go to the mall. So we go to the mall. Target to get something to eat because my friend has a gift card lol. And we just hangout for like an hour waiting for My Friends other friend. Then finally he says that he cant come because his dad doesn't want to drive him. So i drive allll the way to his house and pick him up. WAIT then i have to pick up another one of his friends/ my friend. OK now were off to the mall. So we get to the mall and my friends were like he were gonna go over here and smoke so weed. I said alright...The smoke some weed of course they offer because i smoke, but i told them no, I'm looking for a job and I'm responsible of getting you guys home safely. The said alright keep a look out.


Then we go to the mall. walk around get hungry and go back to target to get more food... Then when we were done eating. Fucking pot heads oh uh were gonna smoke some more weed. OK w/e. Then we go back to the mall and walk around and hangout by the food court.

There baked off there minds literally. So every time i say something or start a subject there always like WTF that's dumb that's hella weird or Shut up. Just so you know the smoke weed daily. So they can control them self's. They gave me so much shit about everything I tried to stay cool. I tried different subjects and still the same results its like every fucking thing i said the would give me an answer like I'm a loser, I think its true tho i have no friends I'm a fucking loser. nobody likes me nobody ever has. Nobody ever fucking will. I try so hard to make new friends but it always ends up making enemies, I got my good friend I'm with to back me up and shit tho. he does. But i just don't understand everywhere i go everyone i talk too same thing over and over again. Shut the FUCK UP. Calm down be quiet! I'm polite, I'm nice, i give them rides, i don't call them fucking retards. But what do i get in return? same old shit I'm sick off it the depression today is killing me i need a cigarette hella bad and who knows what I'm going to do after that.

When we were done hanging out in the food court. we went outside "more weed" and stodes. And some people i know at school walked up and said he do you have like a dollar I'm trying to buy a pack of cigarettes? Sure here is a dollar. But i want one of those cigarettes. OK. So we wait and wait and wait. they do more weed. then they finally show up with my cigarette. So we decide to hangout with them and i bought a couple stodes of them while i was at it. "i don't smoke just so you know" I stalk up in case i need them to help me relax. Then one of the guys we are hanging out with is like he can i get a ride? i said maybe it depends where. Ended up being somewhere hella far so i said sorry no. But then he was like what type of car do you have? Well i told him. Response; lol fucking rice burner. I said so? Gets good gas mileage and goes fast. He laughed at me and said pfft rice burners suck there hella gay and slow. Thought." Fuck you man i wouldn't give u a ride" So i told him wanna race? Big guy "I'm short" Shoves me right in public. I almost fell backwards and hit my head. Then he walks up to me and starts throwing punches, I avoid them. Thank god we were hanging out with some girls. The were telling him to Fucking relax and calm the fuck down. Another guy was holding him back saying bro why do you have to be such a fucking dick you been like this all day. He refuses he has. I walked away and left. i went home.

So that's My Big FUCK YOU day.


What did i do?

Am i short? Yes
Is it something i said? idk
Am i a loser? Yes.
Does anybody like me? NO
Do i get along with people? No

FUCK, I don't have any hope in being successful now. If i cant communicate i cant live. Its been like this my whole life and never changed. If i cant make any friends or even get along with people whats the fucking point? I got a fucking 12 gauge shotgun in my room with shells. and I'm having serious thoughts.

Fuck my grammar i don't give a fuck.

[Skeptical Bear]

Chill with what your gonna do with the shotgun. Not worth it. It's good you went on here and just spilled it out. Just get new friends cuz those guys seem like they're using you in a way and they're assholes. Completely forget about them and if you can and want, stop hanging out with them. People like that aren't your "true" friends but really the average friend you'd get quickly. Also, don't put yourself down. It just makes you feel like more shit. Head up high bro. If you need help or just want to rant, VM or PM me anytime and I'll do the best to help or cheer you up.

[Josiah7]

You did the right thing throughout the whole time - if you break the day down, you did alot of good things. You picked them up and gave them rides, you denied the weed, you didn't continue with the fight. You acted responsible, whilst they acted like dickheads. You are not a loner - and its great that you have a close friend. Don't even think about using the shotgun it doesn't solve anything. Keep your head up and focus of study/mechanics. Whilst you are doing that try and find friends with common interests and that you will get along with. Don't hang out with them anymore - they will only keep putting yourself down and cause more problems for you.

Keep your head up and like before, if you want to talk just let me know - more then happy to keep helping you.

Keep your head up and stay strong.

[Fiending_the_freedom]

I think you are really over stressing about this.
Don't like the friends you do have? Don't hang out with them.

If you keep feeling sorry for yourself, you are never going to make friends you like.
People can sense the energy you give off, if you are feeling sorry for yourself and calling yourself a loser, people can feel that vibe, channel confidence and people will be much more willing to befriend you!

[ackmedsgirl666]

sounds like ur friends rele love the weed
maybe if thats not your kinda thing try and hang out with a better crowd and see how things go
you don't need to get involved in that shit man

[Quahog]

I really don't think those are good "friends". You make the right choice, and I hope that you don't hang out with them anymore. I don't think they are a positive influence. It's your choice but I hope that you make better choices as to who you hang out with.

[Etzim]

Thanks guys. I slept on it. I feel a lot better today.