jamieallover
January 27th, 2011, 09:45 PM
So, I've been thinking alot about my ex boyfriend lately. And it made me want to write out my story so that people could see signs of abuse before it happens to them. I know this is a kind of a rant, you don't really have to read it. :yawn:
Okay, so my sophmore year was when I met him. He had these eyes that just captivated me, along with that perfect smile. It started off perfect. I got sick in the begining of my relationship, so I wasn't really able to see him much but I was still lovestruck. After I recovered, things went good, so I thought. I saw him all the time in school, we hungout alot. I was very pure at this time, I didn't have any desire to do anything sexual with him whatsoever. About 6 months into my relationship, things started to get rocky. He started ditching me between classes when we were supposed to meet, he wouldn't hangout with me when he said he would. He'd start dodging my calls, acting really funny. Stupid me, thought well maybe if I finally "give it up", he'll stay with me. My first time ended up being the worst of my entire life. He got up after and told me to leave so he could go out with his friends. I cried, and cried. And cried. He began acting shady, didn't let me see his phone at all, started having all these girls writing on his myspace/facebook wall and whenever I would ask who they were, "oh they're just friends". He started controlling my every move. I wasn't allowed to go out unless he knew exactly where I was. He wouldn't let me wear makeup if it wasn't around him. If I got ready for school in the morning, it was constantly a fight because he would think I was trying to impress someone other than him. I could never understand why he was constantly so nontrusting with me. Then I found out. My boyfriend, this boy who I had loved with EVERYTHING in me, was cheating on me DAILY with numerous different girls. He apologized when I found out, of course I took him back. This boy drained me emotionally and physically. I lost all of my friends because when they would try to tell me he was still cheating, I'd acuse them of being jealous. I sat in my room and cried every single day. He took everything I had left of me. Took my heart, ripped out out and shattered it a thousand times over. He started getting phsyically abuse over the next year to the point where I broke it out but it hurt because I couldn't understand why I still loved this boy unconditionally.
Anyways, I'm rambling now. My whole point of this post is that honestly, whether it's a girlfriend or a boyfriend, don't ever let them belittle you. Don't ever let them make you feel that your worth nothing when, honestly, your worth everything and more. Don't let their insecurities bring you down and never settle for anything less then you deserve EVER.
Phew, okay I think I'm done.
Feels so much better after getting all that off my chest.
Ciao!
Okay, so my sophmore year was when I met him. He had these eyes that just captivated me, along with that perfect smile. It started off perfect. I got sick in the begining of my relationship, so I wasn't really able to see him much but I was still lovestruck. After I recovered, things went good, so I thought. I saw him all the time in school, we hungout alot. I was very pure at this time, I didn't have any desire to do anything sexual with him whatsoever. About 6 months into my relationship, things started to get rocky. He started ditching me between classes when we were supposed to meet, he wouldn't hangout with me when he said he would. He'd start dodging my calls, acting really funny. Stupid me, thought well maybe if I finally "give it up", he'll stay with me. My first time ended up being the worst of my entire life. He got up after and told me to leave so he could go out with his friends. I cried, and cried. And cried. He began acting shady, didn't let me see his phone at all, started having all these girls writing on his myspace/facebook wall and whenever I would ask who they were, "oh they're just friends". He started controlling my every move. I wasn't allowed to go out unless he knew exactly where I was. He wouldn't let me wear makeup if it wasn't around him. If I got ready for school in the morning, it was constantly a fight because he would think I was trying to impress someone other than him. I could never understand why he was constantly so nontrusting with me. Then I found out. My boyfriend, this boy who I had loved with EVERYTHING in me, was cheating on me DAILY with numerous different girls. He apologized when I found out, of course I took him back. This boy drained me emotionally and physically. I lost all of my friends because when they would try to tell me he was still cheating, I'd acuse them of being jealous. I sat in my room and cried every single day. He took everything I had left of me. Took my heart, ripped out out and shattered it a thousand times over. He started getting phsyically abuse over the next year to the point where I broke it out but it hurt because I couldn't understand why I still loved this boy unconditionally.
Anyways, I'm rambling now. My whole point of this post is that honestly, whether it's a girlfriend or a boyfriend, don't ever let them belittle you. Don't ever let them make you feel that your worth nothing when, honestly, your worth everything and more. Don't let their insecurities bring you down and never settle for anything less then you deserve EVER.
Phew, okay I think I'm done.
Feels so much better after getting all that off my chest.
Ciao!