i give up :( i cant fight anymore

[Lost n not yet found]

I found this site a couple of days ago and only tonight had the courage to join it seems a reali friendly atmosphere and nobody is judged which i think is amazing. I started SH a while back now feeling that i cant cope anymore with everything in my life just one bad thing after another, i use it to cope with all of the emotions that i have feeling a physical pain helps with the emotional pain. Hope to speak to some of you soon :)

[georgiamay]

first of all, welcome to VT. :)
No one here will judge you, and we're all here to listen.
I know what you mean about physical pain helping the emotional pain, but hun, it's really not worth it. I've been doing this on and off for over 3 years, and I wish I never started. I have scars that won't be going any time soon, and I feel like I'm pretty much addicted to self harm. So, I know how you feel.

Do you think you want to try and stop? I understand if you don't, I don't feel like I can right now, but maybe you could try and ween it out, and stop gradually. Please don't go cold turkey, it leads to nasty relapses.

Everyone here is willing to listen, so just post in the forums if you want to vent , or just PM me. You need 100 posts to PM other members, but not for staff members, so me or any other psych ward mod will be happy to listen.

Good luck hun, and welcome. :D :hug:
<3

[Kitty]

yeah adding to georgia...it's nice to vent as well.
Even if there's nothing nobody can do but to tell you their experiances in response. You don't feel like such a freak.
It's healthy to get it off your chest and to know that people are going through similar issues.

I've been self harming for two years now and even went into hospital for a range of mental problems. :') So everyone's here to give you help and a friends chat <3 xxxxxxx

[nick]

Hi Abi, most people here are friendly and will help if they can. I dont SH myself, but if you ever need someone to talk to or just to rant I'm a good listener.

[Lost n not yet found]

Thank you every1, i dont feel atm that i am able 2 stop georgia because wen i try to the emotional pain just starts to eat me up and i cave totally n do it worse than if id just carried on as i was if that made any sense its not that i dont want to give up tho. I finally had the courage to tell one of my friends today but they reacted totally different to how i thought they would have they basically told me that i need professional help n treated me as if i was totally crazy, i feel totally crushed atm like a total freak and totally on my own :(. I am also reali worried that they r gonna tell my family aswell im just not ready 4 that tho atm because due to family issues i have to live with my grandparents. Feel alone :(

[Quahog]

I just want to say, this is the place to be, if you want help. I really like your courage, that you told your friend. But a friend should be supportive, and not call you crazy.

I think you should really listen to georgia's advice. It might be hard to quit, but it would be so much better for you.

[Lost n not yet found]

I no i was totally wrong about them, he is the only person i have ever totally trusted had some bad experiences in the past so i have never told any1 before today found it easier to deal with it on my own because then i cant be hurt anymore than i have been in the past feel totally crushed :(. I dont feel ready to give up at the moment iv tried before i have alot of issues coming from all different aspects of my life and as i said before the physical pain helps the emotional pain. Whats the point :(

[Magenta]

Hi Abi! Welcome to VT! :hug:

If you ever need someone to talk to, let me know via visitor message on my profile or something and I can add you to MSN or whatever or email.

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's terrible to feel like you have to go through anything alone. But now you don't. We're all here for you even if we can't be there in person. It's not the same but I know that if I didn't have VT along with my real life friends, I'd be pretty lost.

:) :hug:

[Lost n not yet found]

Thank you :) the way that my friend has been 2day i couldnt stop myself :( iv never told anybody about it i though that he would totally support me but how wrong i was i couldnt stop myself from cutting :(

[Magenta]

It's okay. You pick yourself up and move onto the next day where you try harder not to. It's a slow process but it IS possible to stop.

[Lost n not yet found]

But its not okay tho :( i could loose everythin lost the only person iv ever trusted today feel totally alone dnt hve no parents to help me out either :( i feel like givin up the fight

[Magenta]

Don't ever give up. You have a whole life ahead of you. Things seem hard now. That's just a part of life. Life throws issues at you so you can muck through them and end up being able to be so proud of yourself later in life because you made it through. You won't lose everything. You'll find everything else. I noticed that when my life started falling apart, I was also starting to see what mattered to me and what didn't.

If your friend isn't supporting you now, they won't support you later. You'll find people who will support you along the way and you'll find your real friends.

[Lost n not yet found]

iv given up fighting anymore.... :( i should have kept it all to myself, now got more cuts deeper than ever before :(

[Magenta]

Aw hun. Don't torture yourself. Please. For us. No one likes to see you in pain like this. You can keep fighting. It's in all of us. We never really give up. I believe in every person, there is a fighter. Sometimes that fighter gets smaller and smaller when everything else overwhelms her or him but they're not gone. Just find your fighter again.

[Lost n not yet found]

i'm searchin its not there to be found at the moment

[Magenta]

You don't have to find it right away. It will take time to find that fighter but you need to make the conscious decision to find it. You have to try and bring that fighter back. It's hard but it's worth it, I promise.

[Lost n not yet found]

Yeeahh mayb i just need 2 search harder to try n fiind the fighter just havin a bad day worse than ever before i spose il sleep n 2moro is a new day

[Magenta]

There you go. That's the way you need to approach things. One day at a time. Today didn't go so well but you came to us and got some people to talk to. Tomorrow you can try to find that fighter. You can keep trying the day after that too. Eventually, you'll find it. You just need to keep hope in your heart. :)

I know that sounds corny.

[Lost n not yet found]

Not corny at all, other than the people i have met on VT tonight i have nobody lost both my parents and my sister i have never told anybody about fully what happened and i think that is what is causing parts of my problems but i am too scared to get help n dnt no were to go either there are lots of other issues aswell but i dnt wanna b a nuisance to anybody a friend of mine today sed i dont deserve help and mayb i dnt. What do i do?

[Magenta]

Anyone who says you don't deserve help will find that it will come back to bite them. Karma. You are never a nuisance if you think talking will help you get better. You just need to find the people who want to listen. If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to email me through my profile. Anytime because I will just respond as soon as I can. I mean it.

[Amyxoxo]

Well I think that everyone has said everything!
I hope that you are able to get the support that you need here. I find it amazing!
Have a good time :) x