Alexithymia
January 24th, 2011, 01:03 PM
Introduction
This was made in order to answer some of the most common questions that are seen on VT. These are all general and if you have any questions, please post them on the forums. We're here to help you, and we promise we'll do that.
Common Gay Questions
Gay or not? Am I gay? Is this gay? I do this, that’s gay… right?
I see those questions all the time. It actually bugs me a bit. Sure, you might be unsure. And if you are unsure of your sexuality, then that’s okay. Just because you do ___ doesn’t mean you’re gay. Just because you find yourself doing ___ doesn’t mean you’re gay. Only you can decide if you’re gay.
If you have a preference to males over females for an extended period of time, then you might not be heterosexual. You might be bisexual, or you might be homosexual. However, you have to know that you are gay. It’s isn’t something that’s tangible. It isn’t something that can be measured by scales and charts. It’s something that you have to decide for yourself.
Another fear that is commonly on the forums is what preference of porn you enjoy. It doesn't matter what you watch, it matters how you feel. If you personally believe that you are gay, then you -are- gay. But if you don't think you're gay, you're probably not. If you're unsure, then classify yourself as curious.
I do ___, all my friends think I’m gay. Should I act gay?
No. And don’t even stop doing what you’re doing. If you enjoy it, do it. It may seem weird, but stopping because all your friends think it's a bit odd is even weirder in my book. It just makes you want to fit in with the crowd. And to be honest, when you do that, you become less of yourself. Which just sucks in the end.
Do not act gay. Acting gay when you're actually straight is just as bad as acting straight when you're gay. Not only are you not yourself, but then how do you explain to them that you're not gay?
Should I act straight?
No. You shouldn't. Acting straight isn't what you want to be, is it? You might get friends involved you thought you were straight, a girlfriend, even kids, if it goes too far into your adulthood. If you're not ready to come out, then don't scream out from the rooftops that you're gay. Just be yourself.
I have a gay friend. HELP!
Personally, I would treat him like a straight friend. If he isn’t very social or shy of his sexual orientation, then I would suggest letting him know what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not. That can be anything from his behavior around you to what he feels like talking about to when he’s allowed to have his partner around you. If he is social and accepting of his sexual orientation, I would let him do what he wants. Tell him when you feel uncomfortable or when you think things are too suggestive. I also highly recommend posting on VT for help. We can help you get through this and help you understand what's going on. It's what we're here for!
Gay Stereotypes
Gays are messed up.
Being gay is not bad. Being gay is a preference of who you enjoy in life. It's just like what color your hair is or what race you are. While many people argue that it is against nature, it really isn't. There are many gay animals seen in nature. If you disagree with homosexuality, then that is fine. Just keep it to yourself.
People choose to be gay
No. People do not choose to be gay. People do not choose to be bisexual, pansexual, asexual, heterosexual. It is part of who they are. It's as hard as changing your eye color or your height. It can't be changed, and it isn't chosen.
Gays are flamboyant
Not all gays are flamboyant. However, some are. It all is a preference of how they like to act. Just like not all straights are manly, not all gays are feminine.
Gays are only gay because they are insecure
Not all gays are insecure. Some gays are very secure. And not just of their sexuality. Some gays are very secure of themselves, as well. Just because they're gay doesn't mean that the gays don't think that they are good enough for girls.
Other Questions
I don’t know how to come out! I don’t know what to do! I don’t know!
Calm down. Think. That’s what VT is for. Post your story and let us help. PM me or a mod. We will help you. I promise. I know that it can seem overwhelming, but it's really not. The two major things here are patiences and learning that things are what they are. You just have to make the best of it.
Is there somewhere where I can chart my gayness?
Yes. There is something called the "Kinsey Scale". It marks the overall broadness of your sexuality, ranging from 0-6. 0 being exclusively heterosexual, 6 being exclusively homosexual. There are many other forms of marking your sexuality. More questions can be answered in the "Teen Sexuality" sticky.
If there are any other questions, post them in VT or PM/VM me!
We all love new questions to answer, so post them! If they have something to do with the “Am I gay” PM/VM me. If it’s something personal and specific, PM one of the moderators. You don’t have to have 100+ posts to PM them, and they're very helpful. PM me for any suggestions on making this post better!
This was made in order to answer some of the most common questions that are seen on VT. These are all general and if you have any questions, please post them on the forums. We're here to help you, and we promise we'll do that.
Common Gay Questions
Gay or not? Am I gay? Is this gay? I do this, that’s gay… right?
I see those questions all the time. It actually bugs me a bit. Sure, you might be unsure. And if you are unsure of your sexuality, then that’s okay. Just because you do ___ doesn’t mean you’re gay. Just because you find yourself doing ___ doesn’t mean you’re gay. Only you can decide if you’re gay.
If you have a preference to males over females for an extended period of time, then you might not be heterosexual. You might be bisexual, or you might be homosexual. However, you have to know that you are gay. It’s isn’t something that’s tangible. It isn’t something that can be measured by scales and charts. It’s something that you have to decide for yourself.
Another fear that is commonly on the forums is what preference of porn you enjoy. It doesn't matter what you watch, it matters how you feel. If you personally believe that you are gay, then you -are- gay. But if you don't think you're gay, you're probably not. If you're unsure, then classify yourself as curious.
I do ___, all my friends think I’m gay. Should I act gay?
No. And don’t even stop doing what you’re doing. If you enjoy it, do it. It may seem weird, but stopping because all your friends think it's a bit odd is even weirder in my book. It just makes you want to fit in with the crowd. And to be honest, when you do that, you become less of yourself. Which just sucks in the end.
Do not act gay. Acting gay when you're actually straight is just as bad as acting straight when you're gay. Not only are you not yourself, but then how do you explain to them that you're not gay?
Should I act straight?
No. You shouldn't. Acting straight isn't what you want to be, is it? You might get friends involved you thought you were straight, a girlfriend, even kids, if it goes too far into your adulthood. If you're not ready to come out, then don't scream out from the rooftops that you're gay. Just be yourself.
I have a gay friend. HELP!
Personally, I would treat him like a straight friend. If he isn’t very social or shy of his sexual orientation, then I would suggest letting him know what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not. That can be anything from his behavior around you to what he feels like talking about to when he’s allowed to have his partner around you. If he is social and accepting of his sexual orientation, I would let him do what he wants. Tell him when you feel uncomfortable or when you think things are too suggestive. I also highly recommend posting on VT for help. We can help you get through this and help you understand what's going on. It's what we're here for!
Gay Stereotypes
Gays are messed up.
Being gay is not bad. Being gay is a preference of who you enjoy in life. It's just like what color your hair is or what race you are. While many people argue that it is against nature, it really isn't. There are many gay animals seen in nature. If you disagree with homosexuality, then that is fine. Just keep it to yourself.
People choose to be gay
No. People do not choose to be gay. People do not choose to be bisexual, pansexual, asexual, heterosexual. It is part of who they are. It's as hard as changing your eye color or your height. It can't be changed, and it isn't chosen.
Gays are flamboyant
Not all gays are flamboyant. However, some are. It all is a preference of how they like to act. Just like not all straights are manly, not all gays are feminine.
Gays are only gay because they are insecure
Not all gays are insecure. Some gays are very secure. And not just of their sexuality. Some gays are very secure of themselves, as well. Just because they're gay doesn't mean that the gays don't think that they are good enough for girls.
Other Questions
I don’t know how to come out! I don’t know what to do! I don’t know!
Calm down. Think. That’s what VT is for. Post your story and let us help. PM me or a mod. We will help you. I promise. I know that it can seem overwhelming, but it's really not. The two major things here are patiences and learning that things are what they are. You just have to make the best of it.
Is there somewhere where I can chart my gayness?
Yes. There is something called the "Kinsey Scale". It marks the overall broadness of your sexuality, ranging from 0-6. 0 being exclusively heterosexual, 6 being exclusively homosexual. There are many other forms of marking your sexuality. More questions can be answered in the "Teen Sexuality" sticky.
If there are any other questions, post them in VT or PM/VM me!
We all love new questions to answer, so post them! If they have something to do with the “Am I gay” PM/VM me. If it’s something personal and specific, PM one of the moderators. You don’t have to have 100+ posts to PM them, and they're very helpful. PM me for any suggestions on making this post better!