Tonight is finally the night

[MadManWithaBox]

Tonight, is the night, he's letting me kill myself. He proved to me last night, o one cares, no one comes, and I dint deserve it, cos I'm scum. But thats ok, cos I get to die in like 4 hours or something :D gonna be great

[Magenta]

Matt, please don't. D: Do you know how devastated those of us here would be? You've helped me so much and I enjoy talking to you. Please don't do this.

[MadManWithaBox]

I can't not. This might be the only chance he gives me, I have to take it.

[Magenta]

So is this his decision or yours? Just because he says that you can kill yourself, doesn't mean you should. You are loved by many here and probably more people in your life than you realize. You had been taking medication and it was working. It's not worth ending your life. If you really wanted to die so badly, you would have died much earlier than now no matter what he said. I know what it's like to want to die. I don't think this is really your choice right now.

[sdude]

Please talk to someone...call a hotline, stay with us please...You may be finding a way to end your pain, but so many others will suffer the loss of you forever...coming from a family that has had this happen, it hurts everyone around you forever...don't do it!! Stay with us and talk through this!

[Love.Hate]

No Matt,
He is lying to you, you dont need to kill yourself!
We would all miss you so much, we all care.
Please dont do this.

[Mike321]

You dont have to take the chance.
Your a vauled member of this site, and you've helped so many people, you'd be missed by alot more people than you realise.
Please dont do this Matt

[Magenta]

I am going to sit here and stare at this thread until I am satisfied that you are safe. I don't care what you want, I am not logging off this site until I'm convinced I will not lose you.

*makes self comfortable*

[sdude]

I am going to sit here and stare at this thread until I am satisfied that you are safe. I don't care what you want, I am not logging off this site until I'm convinced I will not lose you.

*makes self comfortable*

Yeah, let's all help Matt get through this...none of us want to lose you!!

[Charleigh]

Woah Matt take a step back.
Whoever it is that is letting you commit suicide, they are making a bad decision. This is your life, not his. Your choices not his. You can control your life, dont let other people try and live it for you, your strong. Committing suicide isnt the answer buddy, its the total wrong thing hun. Your never alone, people on VT love you and we all want you to be safe. So think about what your doing, it isnt the right way.
I hope this meant something :hug3:

[MadManWithaBox]

If I don't take it, he'll be so mad, Il be better off dead. I want to anyway.

[Magenta]

Matthew, don't you dare. I don't care how much you hate your life, I am not losing you. Who cares if he is mad? You don't even want to know how mad I would be if you actually went through with it. You'd be surprised how frightening that can be. You've done so much to get through life so far. Why throw that all away now?

[Syvelocin]

Why are you still listening to him? He's letting you alone tonight, take advantage of that and treat yourself kindly hun. You've got to get through this.

[Charleigh]

No, think about what you are doing. Make your desicion for you, nobody else. Dont kill yourself because he told you too, its your life you can do what you like. The shit might be hitting the fan now, but things can only get better. If you are strong enough to beat this, the temptation and the commant to do it, you can beat anything. Your a strong guy.
VT know you can do it.

[MadManWithaBox]

He'll come back tomorrow. And he'll be so pissed. He'll say I gave you the opportunity to die, the o e you begged for, and you threw it cos of these people who couldn't care less about you, they're laughing at you right now. Then it'd be punishment time.

[Charleigh]

Dont let him over power you, your better than him.
Lots better. Sometimes life is shit, and we want to let go. But grip onto something, please.

[Magenta]

Matt... Suddenly started writing and this came out:

Panic rising, there are tears I’m crying
How can you even think of dying?
You’re my friend, a new one too,
There’s so much I don’t know about you.

Don’t take this chance away from me.
Just stick around and help me see.
I want to help but do not know
How to keep you from wanting to go.

Matthew, please don’t go away
Just give me this one moment to say:
This isn’t the end, if you try,
It’s just the beginning and you can reach the sky.

I’ll miss you if you leave,
I’ll be sad and I will grieve.
So please don’t cause me that pain.
Please give life a chance again.

*clings to you*

[Syvelocin]

I don't think I could possibly care more Matt, and the same for everyone else here who is taking the time to respond and help you out. We care for you, more than he cares for you obviously. You can choose between listening to him, who hasn't done you any good, or us, who will always be there for you.

[MadManWithaBox]

I turn 18 in 5 weeks. I've given life plenty of chances, and he always wins. Time to leave.

[Charleigh]

Matt... Suddenly started writing and this came out:

Panic rising, there are tears I’m crying
How can you even think of dying?
You’re my friend, a new one too,
There’s so much I don’t know about you.

Don’t take this chance away from me.
Just stick around and help me see.
I want to help but do not know
How to keep you from wanting to go.

Matthew, please don’t go away
Just give me this one moment to say:
This isn’t the end, if you try,
It’s just the beginning and you can reach the sky.

I’ll miss you if you leave,
I’ll be sad and I will grieve.
So please don’t cause me that pain.
Please give life a chance again.

*clings to you*

Matt, people love you. Please dont do this.
Dont let him take control of you, your STRONGER THAN HIM.

I turn 18 in 5 weeks. I've given life plenty of chances, and he always wins. Time to leave.

No! You still have your whole life ahead of you.
You can make it through this shit time, I know you can!

[Syvelocin]

There's more to come, don't quit now. I'm pretty close in age to you, and it DOES get better if you give it more chances. You fail only when you stop trying. And you have to keep trying. I can confidently say that I'll see my 19th birthday. I want you to see your 18th, 19th, 40th, 60th... please. You have a choice to live. You don't know what you're throwing away.

[MadManWithaBox]

He'll cone back, and it'll be punishment time. Harsh for disobeying. Glass, smashing my hand up again, and maybe even bleach. If he's still here, it's not worth sticking around

[Magenta]

Matt, there are a lot of people in this world who are not worth sticking around for. They're maybe not the same as him but in the end, would you leave the rest of us because of him?

[Charleigh]

You can run from all of that. Just tell somebody.
If you tell someone you can get away from it all, honestly. Im in foster care, I dont get that anymore. Just speak out, this isnt the way to do it hun I promise you its not worth it. Things will get better, you just need faith and you need hope ok?
:hug:

[Afraid Of Me]

please dont do that
theres too many things to live for
and if you do something like that you wont get to see the next season of doctor who jk. but really people care about you. dont do anything like this please

[MadManWithaBox]

He hasn't come to you. People don't lie to you, and tell you he's not real, and he dient exist, and how you're not mad you're just sick. They don't even think he's real, so they can't make him leave.

[Charleigh]

No but you can make him leave!
Have more power Matt! Dont let this hold you back and make you give in. If he is constantly at you, then be stronger than him and show him that you wont be crushed beneath him anymore, you will get better hun! Please dont do this!!!!!!!!

[Magenta]

No. I think he's very real. If he is real to you, that doesn't make him unreal. So he is just like any other abusive person anyone else has encountered. You can get away from him though, even though your way of coping may be different than ours. It involves medication but you learn to cope just like the rest of us.

I'm not sure how to make that make sense.

[Syvelocin]

I may not have someone there punishing me like that, but I've had a critic there watching me and scrutinizing me, telling me that I'm fat or ugly. That I deserve what I do to myself. You can't listen to them. You can't do everything they tell you, because they can't win.

[MadManWithaBox]

If I don't do what he says, he punishes me anyway. I know he's right anyway, I deserve the pain, this is a treat.

[Magenta]

You do not deserve the pain. This is where you need to learn that you can't just give in. He is NOT right. If I could beat the crap out of him for telling you so, I would. :D It would be fun. But I can't so you need to tell him yourself.

[sdude]

You are still a minor, go to the police, they will find you help...

[Charleigh]

Your amazing. Dont let this knock you.
Keep strong (yn)

[UnknownError]

Matt, dont let him win. Don't let him punish you.
If you killed yourself, so many people here and people who know you in rea life would be upset.
Everyone who's already posted, me, Kathy, Georgia, everyone. We'd all miss you.
Dont do it.

[MadManWithaBox]

I don't know. I can't stop him, he made me throw my meds away.

[districtnowhere]

Matt it's true I never talked to you before. but i just can't let you do anything bad. i saw you helped a lot of people. you don't have to listen to him. stay with us.

[UnknownError]

Who's with you atm? Go and be with someone and get them to help you.

[Charleigh]

Matt we know you cant control him, but you can try.
Please dont throw everything away for him.
Stay strong please. I beg you.

[MadManWithaBox]

No one at all.

[Magenta]

*hugs tightly* I really hope you're taking any of this to heart. I hate seeing you hurting like this.

[MadManWithaBox]

I'm trying jo. I don think I can win now.

[UnknownError]

Could you not get to the hospital? They can help you.

[Magenta]

Yes you can. I wouldn't be saying this, I wouldn't be trying to convince you of it so much if I didn't believe that. Please. Listen to us here. Listen to my PMs. Everything we say is because we care. I swear you've made me beat my old typing speed record just to try to say all of this to you in time because I'm so scared I may be too late.

[districtnowhere]

can't you maybe go to a friend . or anyone at all. just to not be alone? think - there will be a lot of people devistated you not being here.
listen to us. it's not worth it.

[MadManWithaBox]

I don't know. I don't know when he'll be back

[Charleigh]

When he comes back, tell him to go away.

[Magenta]

I still think your best choice is to go to the hospital. :(

[UnknownError]

Same. You need to go to the hospital. Get more medication and have someone to keep an eye on you.

[MadManWithaBox]

Not till Tuesday.

[Magenta]

Matt, can you promise us to be okay until Tuesday? Please.

[UnknownError]

Stay strong til Tuesday. It might seem forever, but you can do it.

[districtnowhere]

Please Matt can you?
And if he shows up. let me talk to him .
Just tell him you don't need him
Go to the ER get some meds.

[MadManWithaBox]

I can try.

[Magenta]

Try. Hard. Because I do not want to lose you. I do not want these part almost two hours to have been for nothing. I'm still stressing going now but hang on. If not tonight, if you absolutely refuse to, hang on until Tuesday.

[UnknownError]

Good, try as hard as you can. Hang on til Tuesday.

[Malcolm Tucker]

Matthew while I don't know much about the situation what I can say is that you need to get to A&E now. The fact that you are telling us, and letting this discussion continue shows a certain willingness on your part, free of influence, to resist 'him'. I'm not asking, I'm telling you to pick up the phone, and get to the A&E and fight back. You are damn well capable of it and as someone who has experience in dillusions and so forth O can tell you that getting to A&E is the only option.

Get there by midnight, you'll be taken care of. You know this. Right now you can only go on certainties and you know, that if you go that you will be looked after. Do this now please, the part of you that wants to fight is begging forthos.

And do not think we don't care. We do. If we didn't this thread would not have reached 3 pages in such a short amount of time. Another certainty - we care.

[Magenta]

Listen to Michael, Matt. I agree with him a lot.

[MadManWithaBox]

All I have to do is hold out till Tuesday. if I go now, they'll keep me for an extended period.

[Charleigh]

Same here.
Hold on mate. Everything will be ok

[Malcolm Tucker]

All I have to do is hold out till Tuesday. if I go now, they'll keep me for an extended period.

Unless you are 100% sure will make it to Tuesday, I think you should go now.

[Magenta]

Matt, please think about this. An extended period is what I think you need. We can't force you but I can keep repeating it over and over. Please go. Listen to all of us- if it was that bad an idea, would we all be agreeing?

[MadManWithaBox]

I hate it so much, the idea of being locked up, it's terrifying. Once I do a cut, just a little cut, I can make it.

[Malcolm Tucker]

One cut becomes two, becomes four. I don't like any resolution that involves you getting hurt. =\

[Magenta]

Matt, everyone has to sometimes do things they don't like. But would you rather be facing the idea of being trapped to get help or hurting yourself even more? A little cut doesn't stay a little cut. And right now, I'm afraid once you start, you'll keep going until you go through with your original idea. If you're still thinking of hurting yourself in any way, please go to the hospital.

[Charleigh]

Thats it hun.
You can do it!

[MadManWithaBox]

Not one, ten. Just enough. Not deep, not with glass. No dying, not tonight. Il do it, then take some cold medicine, so he can't come.

[Magenta]

Matt, please go to the hospital. Don't hurt yourself. I don't like the idea of this. I'm getting a really bad feeling about it. Do it for us. Trust us that we're not lying to you when we say the hospital is a better idea.

[Malcolm Tucker]

Matthew you are to promise us now, tonight, that you will not kill yourself tonight, or all tomorrow. And that by Wednesday morning, you will have sought help. Please do this for us here at VT. Please promise those two things to us.

[Charleigh]

Yeah.
You can hold on until you can go to get help, please stay stong. (yn)

[MadManWithaBox]

I can promise to try, my absolute hardest. And to go straight to the psych on Tuesday.

[Malcolm Tucker]

Ok. Now go to bed, soon. You need a sleep and just fight through tomorrow and Tuesday morning it's straight to psych.

Thank you Matthew. Thank you.

[Magenta]

Thank you, Matt. Message me at any point tomorrow if you need me, okay? I have school but I promise I will respond as soon as I get anything.

[MadManWithaBox]

I think I owe you guys thanks more

[Magenta]

All you owe me is a moment to give you a huge hug. :D

[Malcolm Tucker]

I think I owe you guys thanks more

I think I speak for everyone by saying you not doing anything to yourself is thanks enough from you, Matthew. :hug:

[MadManWithaBox]

Nothing yet. I'm getting myself calm first, otherwise once I start I won't be able to stop. Limmenel *insert hug

[MadManWithaBox]

Better now I think. Thank you guys so much.

[Malcolm Tucker]

You still promise to go on tuesday Matthew?

[MadManWithaBox]

I can promise tobtry. I already bandaged my new cuts up, gonna be asleep in half an hour or so. If he comes, Il be asleep

[Malcolm Tucker]

Good. Look tomorrow night we'll talk about getting help in detail. In the meantime, let's just rest for the next 8 or 9 hours.

[HeroesAndCons]

Matt please dont DONT DO IT i want you to keep us close we all love u on here and if you do it ur losing

please dont i am crying writing this

you were the first person that i talked to on here and i knew you were a good guy to begin with PLEASE PLEASE call a hotline

we all need u

[Fiction]

Well, I chose tonight not to go on VT of all nights. Matt, I talk to you everyday. Why would I do that if I didn't care? We can make him go away together. We've done it before haven't we? We've got you in control of him before. I think it's time you called the hospital again. Stay there for a while. Take your meds. They where working, you have so much left to do in your life.
You know i'm always here. We have to KBO, your words not mine. We can do it together like we have before. Stay with us please? :)

[MadManWithaBox]

Il try is all kathy.

[Fiction]

Well you know i'm always here.

[MadManWithaBox]

Thanks :)

[Aceso]

Matt, I don't know you, but it seems to me like you have a lot of people on here who support and care for you.
Please at least give yourself some time to think this through. You won't feel like this forever.

[Jstr]

y do you want to do it

[MadManWithaBox]

Thank you guys so much. Made it through to the next day, even to school

[Josiah7]

Your welcome Mate, I dont know you - but from what I have read you have many people here who really care about you. Stay Strong.

[anamcara]

look, if you left us now, you wont be able to help people in the future, so many people will not recieve the help you give, and end up doing something they regret or they could take their own lives, as has been said, you've helped so many people, myself included...

come on dude, you can do it...take control and dont let him win, your stronger than him...(p.s. im looking at the david tennant lookalike in my school, he reminds me of you, david tennant is awesome, and so are you, take care and please reconsider) :) xx

sorry its a bit late...but hopefully it can help in the future if this should happen again...i pray that it doesnt though, :) sorry once again for it being late!!!!!! x

[MadManWithaBox]

Thanks :)

[equestrianlover890]

I dont know you but im really glad to hear you didn't to it. Life is beyond painful yes. But every once Ina a blue moon we find a moment or so of happiness. That's why its all worth it to me. Hang in there. It seems you have many people on here who care about you

[suza23]

All i have to say to this is.. I am very happy you didn't kill yourself Suicide is never the answer.

But i feel as if the moderators should have contacted your local police department because of how close you were to actually doing it.

[Syvelocin]

^ Well... If he does it, he does it. All we can do is to talk to him and show him why he should stick around. I don't think it's really our place to call the police on him. Well, I'm speaking for myself of course. But as much as I would hate it if Matt was gone, that's not something we're going to do. I would personally hate it if someone called the police on me, regardless. The fact that he came onto this site and posted here shows me he wanted someone to talk him out of it, whether he directly wanted that or not.

[MadManWithaBox]

It's. I didn't want to want to be gone. And I wanted someone to prove me wrong. But then again I've done it before, and had to go the hospital for it. I don't know.

[suza23]

Actually in some states it is considered illegal to not report a threat of suicide like that... Just saying.. Would you be able to live with yourself if you new you could have prevented it?

[Syvelocin]

Calling the police on someone is not the way to help them. I'm sorry, but I've been in that place before. I've gotten more from having friends who care for me deeply talking me out of it than being shoved into the loony bin again.

I repeat, it is most certainly not our place. It's not how we work. There are many members who come on to VT and post a goodbye thread. We simply can't report all of them, 1. Because there are too many, and 2. Because if they really, really wanted to do commit suicide, they wouldn't be posting here for help.

Last time I'm replying to this. It's rather off-topic now that what was being dealt with in this thread is now relatively solved. If you'd like to carry the conversation with me, I would be glad to do so, but in private messaging instead of in this thread.

[Fiction]

OP request :locked: