Well... this is getting worse ><

[Fiction]

Hmm as the title says.
My starving phases are becoming longer, getting closer together. Getting more extreme. Previously what I would have been proud of eating in a day, I feel guilty for. I don't think i'd be happy unless i'd eaten nothing. Unfortunatly, I can't get away with this.

Thing is, if there is anyway I can, i'll take it. I've started purging more, for those times I had to eat.

It's getting worse, and I really can't bring myself to eat more. It means putting on weight. I can't cope with that.

My weight frustrates me. It doesn't seem to be dropping like it used too... I know i've fucked up my body. I know i'll never loose weight now. It seems like nothing else matters but this. I can't cope with this.

[MadManWithaBox]

Kathy, I've already told you, you're well on your way to anorexia, if not already there. You need help.

[Charleigh]

Hun, if you cant cope with it anymore, ask someone for help.
Your such a pretty girl! You have lots to be proud of, you need to get some advice and get yourself back on track with your eating. Good luck hun ^^
Im here if you need anything
:hug:

[Fiction]

Thanks both of you for your replies.
I can't cope with the feeling I get when I eat. If I get help, they'll make me eat.

[MadManWithaBox]

You need that Kathy. I know it, i do, you've said it to me yourself. You don't want to do something, but you need to. We all need help sometimes, we show our strength by taking it.

[Fiction]

Or by dealing with it ourselves.

Or by showing we can acheive our goals. Showing we can succeed in getting to the weight we want. In resisting food. Showing that we can fucking do it, because that's the only way i'll feel better.

[MadManWithaBox]

Except there are healthier ways to lose weight than starving yourself.
And I've said to you before, and you've said to me, you can't do it by yourself. Even I couldn't. You'll do fine, for a while. Then go down like a sack of potatoes.

[Fact]

I hope you realise that you won't be happy with your weight until you die if this continues. You need help.

[Fiction]

At my weight, starving yourself is the only way.

I want to get rid of these thoughts. I want to get them out my head, but that involves making myself eat. Being made to eat. I don't want that.

Why me? :confused:

[MadManWithaBox]

This isn't a case of why you Kathy. Its a case of, you know you need to do this, get help, you don't because you're stubborn.

[Triceratops]

Just so you're aware, being stubborn towards my ED and not wanting to give up was what almost led me to death. And I'm not lying.

[Charleigh]

Thanks both of you for your replies.
I can't cope with the feeling I get when I eat. If I get help, they'll make me eat.

And if you eat, you will feel loads better.
You will gain control because you will be eating again, also you will have more energy and you will be able to concentrate more, things will get better. I hate talking to people about it but, Ive done what your doing. I starved myself and was nearly annorexic. Until I collapsed and had to be rushed to hospital, but thats not the point. The point is, you have eat Kathy! And they dont make you eat HUGE portions, they will only give you little bits, and gradually make you eat a little bit more, until your eating a plate full of food and your up and running. Getting help is one of the best things you can do hun, you will feel LOADS better for it ^^