Is this the charred remains of a bridge?

[ThatScience]

Okay! Here's the story:

One of my friends (let's call her Jenny) has been going out with one of my other friends (let's call him Johnny) for somewhere between 1 and 2 years.

Jenny went to Canada for the Holiday Season. The day after she left the country, Johnny broke up with her via e-mail!!

Now, Jenny is very bitter. I was talking to her on Facebook and decided to confront Johnny, also on Facebook. I don't think I'm on very good terms with Johnny anymore.

Did I overstep my bounds?
Did I do the right thing?
Should I have picked sides the way I did?
Did I pick the most ethically responsible side?
Should I have minded my own business?

[PJay]

Did I overstep my bounds?
Nah I think friends have to do what feels right.

Did I do the right thing?
As above - only you know that really. Its not wrong to try to help friends best as you can.

Should I have picked sides the way I did?
Maybe not. Its not a clear right and wrong. All Johnny did 'wrong' was to do it via email at a sucky time, but it is very hard to break up with some people, so you shouldn't be unsympathetic to him.

Did I pick the most ethically responsible side?
Probably.


Should I have minded my own business?
Nah, you don't want to see friends hurting, its natural to try to help things, but you probably need to be really careful because Johnny is going to be hurting too now, and more because his friend (you) is not supporting him.

[ThatScience]

...but you probably need to be really careful because Johnny is going to be hurting too now, and more because his friend (you) is not supporting him.

This probably sounds really shallow but I value Jenny's friendship more than I value Johnny's.

Johnny was angry that I was sticking my nose in other people's business.
Is his opinion relavent in this situation?
Should I listen to him even though Jenny has shared her feelings with me?

[PJay]

This probably sounds really shallow but I value Jenny's friendship more than I value Johnny's.

Johnny was angry that I was sticking my nose in other people's business.
Is his opinion relavent in this situation?
Should I listen to him even though Jenny has shared her feelings with me?

Do what feels honorable / right to you.

His opinion is totally relevant, and I can totally understand why he'd feel pissed off with you (not to say you were wrong, but he's allowed to feel however he feels).

If I were you, yeah I'd listen to him. You aren't a referree in this, you are just trying to be a friend and a good person, and listen and help them heal and move on. People can help complete strangers (hello) because they care about "people" in general, and this guy is / was a friend so i'd say more reason to try.