how am I supposed to feel? what am I supposed to understand?

[DrkZ90]

I'm feeling heartbroken, hurt and completely miserable.

This "friend" of mine (I've talked about him before...), he kepts on swinging from love to hate towards me... he can be the nicest person whenever he needs something from me, but the next day he can be the biggest asshole too...

We haven't met or talked face to face for over a month, and he lives pretty much next door! (Same building, a couple of stories higher). Most of that month he wasn't home though... but both before he left and after he came back, he always had a "reason" to not hang out with me, except for yesterday. Yesterday he said "NO, I don't want to hang out with you"... he said he had school today (first day of school) and so he couldn't hang out with me today either... but I just heard him hanging out with the guy that lives right next to me (literally next door), and that hurt me even more.

I'm so fed up of this situation, that the only person that ever told me "You're my best friend" treats me like this... I even tried to trust him with everything, but he seems to completely loathe me, and I can only hate myself too.

I'm not sure how to talk to him about this either... I have tried, but I guess I only made it worse, because perhaps he realized of my feelings for him, and perhaps he realized how to pull my strings and control me...idk... but I need to do something... I'm already back with suicide thoughts and even trying to strangle myself every other night (when I'm not suicidal, I can see how futile that is... but when I'm alone and crying in my room, it seems as if this time it will work). I guess the only reason keeping me alive until today is my trip tomorrow (which is already for the most part ruined courtesy of my mom), but I don't really know how I will make it to next week.

Sorry if it was all too long, thanks for reading it and for any advice anyone might have (although I really doubt anyone can help, or even cares).

PS: Sorry if this isn't the right section

[Skatergirl]

Hey I know what it's like to have a friend like this. They're only your friend when they want to be.
"Best friends" is only words, unless it can be proven. Obviously this friend isn't doing that.
You need a better friend! If you even want to sadly call this guy a friend. :(
You're hurting badly inside, and need someone to go to and talk. Someone to hang out with, and someone who is a true friend to you. Then I hope you wouldn't feel suicidal.
I would put him on my own controlling strings and show him I don't care, and find another friend.
But I'm sure if this were as easy as 1, 2, 3, you would already have another friend right?

Sorry I couldn't be very helpful. Good luck with whatever you decide, but please stop trying to kill/hurt yourself! :( This is not the answer.
Find a friend who actually cares about you. Even though it might not be easy.
Don't give up hope.

[DrkZ90]

I'm now quite far from him (as in in a different country)... I tried to talk to him about it yesterday... when I told him I was leaving today (and said I didn't know if I would go back, even though I know I am) he got somewhat sad and upset... he asked me why I didn't tell him before, so I told him that since he didn't even want to talk to me, hadn't had a chance...

This isn't the first time he seems to care, and isn't the first time he implies that he would miss me... but idk. The conversation was through IM, so is hard to tell if he really meant it or was just feeling pity.

[Contra]

That is called an opportunist, someone who cares about you when he needs something and that knows how to control you. The thing you have to do is show him you're not vulnerable to him and cut the "strings" he uses to control you. Ignore him completely like he did to you and find some other friends, I bet you have others, right?

I don't think people like him deserve your time, especially if he makes you feel like you are feeling now. He doesn't deserve that you feel suicidal and depressed because of him. Just forget about him and focus on living your life and finding a reason to do it either than him.

[closed]

>< Look, you are a very nice and sensitive person, and he just hurts you. You want to keep him close, and afraid to let him go. Sometimes, people draw away from us, and it's not always our fault. Maybe he just felt that you don't connect anymore... Maybe he is really an asshole who wanted to manipulate you... You should care less about him and more about yourself. You always should check who your friends are, and do update on it.(that was my mistake too). You deserve better than him! Try to be friendly to new people, you will surely find someone better. You should let this guy go, before he hurts you even more...
Good luck with everything, i know you can do it. :hug:
talk to me if you ever need help :)

[DrkZ90]

I'm now back "home" and everything is just as bad, if not worse... he still barely talks to me over IM, and is still avoiding me like the plague... each time he lies just to avoid me, I feel worse.

I'm feeling like a giant time bomb, that will go off any moment now... I don't know what to do, I feel I will just end it all at any moment... I think it's pointless to keep trying to get help, I'm broken beyond repair.

PS: I feel like this should be in the Mental Crisis or the Depression forums I guess... I know it's getting worse