It's hard ><

[Fiction]

Not made a thread in here in a while...

So i've managed to not self harm in 8 days now (not counting a few bruises and scratches), which is the longest i've gone in a while.

I've tried really hard to get this far but i'm really starting to struggle now. It's easy for you all to say "try harder" and "keep going". It's easy to say it to someone else but as i'm sure most of you know, much harder to follow that advice. The thing is, i'm not sure I want to follow that advice. I feel like I can't be bothered to stop, i've got exams- i'll need it.

Yet i've got prom coming up, I want short sleeves for that. I suppose i've already got too many scars now anyway. I don't even know what this is about. Rant I suppose. Thanks for reading.

[Love.Hate]

Aww Hun.
Just remember 8 days is amazing,
And really its your descision to listen to advice at the end of the day.
But is prom not worth it? That is my real insentive to stop.
Or do it less obvious places? Idk. Im not very good at the whole advice thing but i just want you to know that your not the only one that feels like this and that im here for you if you ever need to talk xx

[FullyAlive]

I'm the same I have exams too so I keep thinking it doesn't really count and that it is justified although if I'm honest I know it's not. I also used the prom thing as motivation but then I started on my legs so it doesn't matter now :/
The only advice I can offer is to keep busy I've been trying to do as much revision/work as possible as some sort of productive distraction. That and making sure there is always someone in the room with me, I can hardly start cutting then.
I'm not sure if any of this helps?

[Fiction]

Thanks both of you for your replies.
I think my real problem is not... not being able to stop (unless something really bad happens, which for now i'm ok with), it's that i don't have the energy to try and stop.
I've cut on my legs before but it's cutting on my arms that i find the best... and that I crave :/

[Charleigh]

Thanks both of you for your replies.
I think my real problem is not... not being able to stop (unless something really bad happens, which for now i'm ok with), it's that i don't have the energy to try and stop.
I've cut on my legs before but it's cutting on my arms that i find the best... and that I crave :/

I know what iits like sort of. Like, I dont really crave cutting my legs but I constantly crave cutting my arms if thats what you mean? If so, do something to distract yourself from it, like listen to music, read, write, anything. If things get so unbearable, try crying everything out.

8 days is brilliant! Well done for going 8 days, but lol ... keep going!
You can stop anytime you want too (hypocrite much xD), dont let harming take control over you, try to take control of it. It is hard I know, but im here if you ever want to talk ^^

Good luck Kathy, your doing a good job!
:hug:

[FullyAlive]

I've cut on my legs before but it's cutting on my arms that i find the best... and that I crave :/

I understand that I always get the urge to cut my wrist but as long as I do cut it doesn't matter where and as wrist is more noticeable legs it is :/
I don't know what to say about stopping, as I'm sure you know it's only you that can make yourself stop no one else.

[1_21Guns]

Kathy don't give up now, I've been how you feel a few times before now, just can't be bothered stopping, don't see the point because the damage is already done, but you know that damage will heal, but certainly not if you keep replacing it. I'm the same with choosing my arms over my legs too, but in the end it's just not worth it. I know you can stop, and you know you can stop too, I'm up to 47 days now, and you can get that far too. You'll be kicking yourself when you're older and you look back thinking why the hell did I have to cut my arms before prom, even with the scars you'll probably lose touch with most of the people, so why should you let those scars stop you? The most important thing is that they are scars, they're in the past unlike fresh wounds.
You do have the strength and the energy to carry on Kathy, I know you do :hug3:

[Magenta]

Kathy, you can do it. You've encouraged me in so many ways on various threads. I know it's hard. I know that it's often way too tiring... I gave in today, made a mess of my leg and then realized... I had been looking so forward to wearing my bathing suit proudly tomorrow. Now I have to wear shorts.

Don't make yourself feel that way about prom. You are beautiful and you deserve to feel that way and wear those short sleeves! <3

[georgiamay]

I won't bother listing distractions and stuff, you've heard it all before.
But I would say, think about prom. Make prom your motivation to stop for now. Scars are so much easier to hide with make up than fresh cuts, so if you manage to stop now, prom will be a lot more enjoyable, rather than having to worry about your short sleeved dress, and the cuts on your arms, wondering what excuse you'll have to use.

[Fiction]

Thanks for your help everybody but Day 0 again i'm afraid :/

[Magenta]

I saw that on the Non-Self Harm calendar and posted something for you there. :)