Boy at camp

[xhelgrindx]

My gf told me today that during the summer at the camp she worked out she told a boy that she thought he was cute and that she liked him and this boy liked her as well. I can't believe she held that from me and didn't tell me! I knew this boy liked her but i didn't know she liked him. She's going to go back and work there again this summer. Idk if she still likes him or think he is cute but ik they are friends and ya. Idk what should I do? It really upset me that she thought that about another boy and that she didn't tell me until now. Idk how i should react to this or what i should do.

[Sage]

It sounds to me like you're more dependent on her than she is on you.

[xhelgrindx]

It sounds to me like you're more dependent on her than she is on you.

What's that supposed to mean?

[Sage]

What's that supposed to mean?

That means this minor discrepancy seems to bother you a lot when it shouldn't because nobody can control who are attracted to, and she is evidently attracted to this boy.

[xhelgrindx]

That means this minor discrepancy seems to bother you a lot when it shouldn't because nobody can control who are attracted to, and she is evidently attracted to this boy.

It's not the fact that she attracted to him its the fact that she told him that he was cute and that she liked him while were dating. I don't think that's right.

[PJay]

So dump her, because she's obviously going to break your heart every time she looks at another boy.

She may not be as bothered about having an exclusive relationship as you are. She may just be a warm person socially and enjoys a bit of flirting.

If she's interested in other guys it doesn't have to mean she wants to break up with you, some people have a lot of love to give. But you can bet that if you are jealous and upset by her doing that then you'll piss her off.

You could try talking to her to find out if she wants an open relationship or if this was just a case of complimenting a cute boy (much as you'd probably tell a girl she was pretty, I'd have thought), but obviously you'd have to trust what she tells you, and it sounds to me like you might find that hard to do right now.

So then you either need to get her to change her ways (unlikely to work) or learn to deal with the fact she might flirt or more with other guys (again doubtful you'll be cool with that).

Sage put it much more succinctly.

[xhelgrindx]

So dump her, because she's obviously going to break your heart every time she looks at another boy.

She may not be as bothered about having an exclusive relationship as you are. She may just be a warm person socially and enjoys a bit of flirting.

If she's interested in other guys it doesn't have to mean she wants to break up with you, some people have a lot of love to give. But you can bet that if you are jealous and upset by her doing that then you'll piss her off.

You could try talking to her to find out if she wants an open relationship or if this was just a case of complimenting a cute boy (much as you'd probably tell a girl she was pretty, I'd have thought), but obviously you'd have to trust what she tells you, and it sounds to me like you might find that hard to do right now.

So then you either need to get her to change her ways (unlikely to work) or learn to deal with the fact she might flirt or more with other guys (again doubtful you'll be cool with that).

Sage put it much more succinctly.

I don't think you understand what I mean I think it's fine that she found this boy attractive but she fucking told this kid that she liked him. Had a crush on him. Liked him. Not only did she say he was cute. I also by the way wouldn't tell a girl she was pretty, Only her.

[PJay]

Maybe you got hung up on the first sentence? I didn't mean I thought she was ONLY looking.

Everyones different. You are obviously very loyal and for you that means focussing 100% on your girlfriend and I get that you expect the same thing back from her. My post above was trying to say she might not be like you. You probably feel betrayed, but she may not have thought of it like that, and she could genuinely still love you and want to be with you.

[xhelgrindx]

Maybe you got hung up on the first sentence? I didn't mean I thought she was ONLY looking.

Everyones different. You are obviously very loyal and for you that means focussing 100% on your girlfriend and I get that you expect the same thing back from her. My post above was trying to say she might not be like you. You probably feel betrayed, but she may not have thought of it like that, and she could genuinely still love you and want to be with you.

It just hurts and shes gonna be working with him again this summer. She should have told me earlier. Do you think im overreacting?

[PJay]

Eesh. There isn't any way I can see that you aren't going to get hurt here.

you dump her because you can't trust her
you dump her because she's honest and says she wants to seem more of this guy
you dont dump her, but then you worry while she's away, and when she gets back whatever she says happened (or didn't) is still going to hurt cos you'll think she's lying, or she told you something happened.


All I can say is you should talk to her and tell her you are finding it hard, and how it would make you feel if anything happened with this guy. Then all you can do is trust her to do the right thing.