Should I talk to my dad again?

[PAfarmerkid]

This has been buggin me for the last few years. When I was younger I loved my dad, and alot of what he did is what made me into who I am today. He was an over the road truck driver, wich was awesome, because he was always haring pictures of where he went and always got me stuff from round the country. I always loved being round him and semis. Always went with him whenever I could too. Riding in a semi is something alot of people doesnt get to experiance or doesnt think about experiancing. My favorite memories are listenin to rock music turned the whole way up and goin through town with the windows down.

This is where this nice story crashes, when I was 10 my dad was out on the road for several weeks (used to it) Me and my mom were going somewhere and stopped at the end of the driveway and she told me her and my dad were getting divorced. I was really shakin up, always thought I was going to be one of the kids without a divorced family. It turns out he was sitting in prison in CO for dating an underage girl. I also found out he was having relationships with several other women at the time.

He got out on parole and lived in Denver for bout half a year driving truck still. Then he moved back here to PA. I chose not to live with him. But I went with him every weekend and went trucking with him. Then one week all turned downhill. He went to my moms work and threatened to kill her, and then he came to my house and tried to kidnap me. He got arrested and in prison for 2 years in PA. Then he got taken back to CO for violating his parole. I havent talked to him since, he has been in therapy since. Soon he will be on his "3rd phase" of therapy, and he can then write me. He sent my grandma a cool poster he drew for me (hes taking art classes) for my b-day last year. Im stuch cause idk if I want to write him back or not, if I do IDK what I want to say.

Anyone else goin through something similar or has? Any help will be appreciated.

[MrZero]

I can't say i can imagine what that must have been like for you.:(

For me in the 6 months(or more idk) before my parents actually got divorced, my mom acted increasingly insane. She was accusing my dad of cheating on her, which I'll never know if it was true or not, but apart from that she started accusing others of a lot of things they weren't guilty of and such, including me - and i tried my best to not take sides. In any case i haven't spoken with her since the divorce - year and..something since, and i feel really bad about it, she was a great mom before all that.

Well i don't know what i want to say to her either, but i do want to talk, i hope to get a rational story about what happened one day, and explain how it felt from my pov.

What happened for you is a lot worse tho, it's up to you if you feel ready to hear him out. Don't be pressured into it if you aren't.

[PAfarmerkid]

I dont talk to my mom about it much either. Actually none of my family. I talk to friends about it. I know I dont have the whole story about my dad either. Just like you, IDK if I will ever get the full story, Im not even sure if I want the full story.

[1_21Guns]

Talking to a parent after you haven't spoken to them for so long is always hard, you don't know what to say, you don't know where to start, you don't know where it will go. I didn't speak to my dad for two years after my parents broke up, a few months back I had to thank him for a gift I recieved for my birthday, I'd done that the year before, except that time I ignored the reply. We texted for a few days, and now I guess I've hidden away from it. Although the reason I didn't speak to him isn't as serious as yours (he verbally/emotionally abused me, is a drunk etc) it's still the same context. It felt weird, it almost felt wrong, I couldn't really sum up how it felt. Just do what you want at the time, he was happy I was talking to him, even if with every text it became increasingly obvious he was downing cans for fun, but yeah. Just see what happens, where it goes. It's up to you and you shouldn't let anyone influence you either way.

[Kahn]

It would be best to talk to him. He is your father, after all. All of those experiences you've shared, all of that love you two had. It can't go unforgotten. It would just hurt more in the future.

No matter what it will be hard, that I can promise. When things are hard, though, is it right to just back down and accept the fact? No. You've been through enough, and I respect you for what you've been through. It must've been hard going through this, accepting the fact that this person you've loved did something that isn't accepted. He's getting help, though. He's trying. You need to try too, if not for him, but for yourself. Losing your father is losing a part of your heart.

Good luck.

[PAfarmerkid]

Thanks guys! Im not real sure quite when he can write me yet but I know its coming soon.

Sean