ShyGuyInChicago
January 12th, 2011, 07:27 PM
“The Tab”
By Ellis Sutton
CHARACTERS
CLAIRE and DEAN, a twenty-something couple
WAITER
MANAGER
Setting
A restaurant with several tables and chairs.
(Claire and Dean are sitting in a fancy, candlelit restaurant drinking a beverage. They toast.)
DEAN: You know this is great restaurant, Claire. That newspaper was right.
CLAIRE: You’re right, Dean. This food is sublime, the service is amazing
(The waiter brings the bill and leaves. They stare at each other believing that the other is going to pay.)
CLAIRE: Aren’t you gonna pay the tab?
DEAN: I thought it was your turn.
CLAIRE: (annoyed) No, I paid the bill last time.
DEAN: No, I did.
CLAIRE: I believe I did.
DEAN: Why don’t we just split the tab? I can pay half, and you can pay half.
CLAIRE: (scoffs) Because you as the man should pay. I only agreed on switching between paying the bill just because it bothered you so much for you to pay always.
DEAN: Well, I don’t think it is too much to ask for you to pay sometimes. Besides, I though you said that you were a modern, independent woman. It seems like you only want to be independent when it best serves you.
CLAIRE: (angry) That’s not fair!
DEAN: I’m sorry for that
CLAIRE: Well, I’m not paying.
DEAN: Me either.
CLAIRE: I don’t have any money.
DEAN: Neither do I.
CLAIRE: Now, what if we don’t pay we’ll have to work in the kitchen, and I just got a $150 manicure.
DEAN: I thought it was your turn to pay.
CLAIRE: Well, we have to do something.
DEAN: Let’s sneak out.
CLAIRE: What?! Are you crazy?! We could go to prison for that.
DEAN: All we have to do is just sneak out. They’ll never find us.
CLAIRE: (uneasy) I don’t know.
DEAN: Or we could just wash the restaurant’s dishes.
CLAIRE: (frustrated) Oh, alright. But first, we have to make a plan to avoid arousing suspicion.
DEAN: OK, there are still a lot of people in here so we can leave without anyone seeing. I think you should just go towards the bathroom and sneak out through the back of the restaurant.
CLAIRE: What about your? How are you gonna sneak out of the restaurant?
(A group of large people walk into the restaurant.)
DEAN: I’ll walk into that crowd of people, and sneak by, and no one will notice.
CLAIRE: But what if when they realize we’re gone, they try to catch us? Won’t they have a police sketch drawn of us, we could get in big trouble, and we could humiliate our families.
DEAN: Let’s just do it, or as I said before we can just wash the dishes to pay for the tab.
CLAIRE: All of a sudden, that does not seem like a bad thing. After all, the tab is only (looks at the receipt and makes a horrified facial expression) $95!
DEAN: You see what I mean.
CLAIRE: I guess maybe it’s not such a bad idea after all.
DEAN: See, I told you.
CLAIRE: Let’s just do it before I change my mind.
(DEAN and CLAIRE see that the waiter is coming back.)
DEAN: Just pretend to go to the bathroom.
CLAIRE: OK.
(CLAIRE picks up her purse and leaves the table.)
(The waiter stands by the table.)
WAITER: Do you have the money for the bill?
DEAN: Actually, my girlfriend will pay the bill. She just ran to the bathroom. That’s how we are. We switch the responsibility every now and then.
WAITER: I understand. Nowadays lots of women like to pay. I think it is because nowadays women see it as a part of equality.
DEAN: Yeah, you’re right. My girl is a modern woman.
(DEAN sends a text message to CLAIRE, and she runs back before she finishes.)
CLAIRE: I couldn’t do it. The guilt was killing me. Me and my boyfriend were gonna sneak out to avoid paying for the bill. You see, we both thought the other was gonna pay and we have no money. I promise, we’ll do anything just don’t have us arrested.
WAITER: (to DEAN) Is this true?
DEAN: (feeling embarrassed) Yes, and it was my idea.
WAITER: Well, I don’t have to tell you how serious this is, but since you decided to come clean, I guess I will talk to the manager on your behalf.
CLAIRE: Please do.
(WAITER leaves.)
DEAN: Now, what are we gonna do.
CLAIRE: I don’t know why you are complaining. This whole was your idea.
DEAN: Hopefully, you are right.
(c.)
MANAGER: I’ve been told about this little predicament, but since you came clean, I’ll make a deal. The two of you will work to pay off the tab. I hope that seems fair because if not, then I can always call the police.
DEAN: That works.
CLAIRE: (sheepishly looking at her manicure) I guess. It’s better than going to jail.
MANAGER: That settles it. The two of you will start right now. I need you to clear all of the tables, wash all of the dishes, clean the kitchen, and the bathroom.
(CLAIRE and DEAN look at each other with a look of fear. They get up and start clearing the tables around them. They walk into the kitchen and come out and gather more used dishes. Then they come back and get some more. The WAITER and the MANAGER laugh at their predicament, as CLAIRE and DEAN walk back into the kitchen, and come back to get more dirty dishes.)
By Ellis Sutton
CHARACTERS
CLAIRE and DEAN, a twenty-something couple
WAITER
MANAGER
Setting
A restaurant with several tables and chairs.
(Claire and Dean are sitting in a fancy, candlelit restaurant drinking a beverage. They toast.)
DEAN: You know this is great restaurant, Claire. That newspaper was right.
CLAIRE: You’re right, Dean. This food is sublime, the service is amazing
(The waiter brings the bill and leaves. They stare at each other believing that the other is going to pay.)
CLAIRE: Aren’t you gonna pay the tab?
DEAN: I thought it was your turn.
CLAIRE: (annoyed) No, I paid the bill last time.
DEAN: No, I did.
CLAIRE: I believe I did.
DEAN: Why don’t we just split the tab? I can pay half, and you can pay half.
CLAIRE: (scoffs) Because you as the man should pay. I only agreed on switching between paying the bill just because it bothered you so much for you to pay always.
DEAN: Well, I don’t think it is too much to ask for you to pay sometimes. Besides, I though you said that you were a modern, independent woman. It seems like you only want to be independent when it best serves you.
CLAIRE: (angry) That’s not fair!
DEAN: I’m sorry for that
CLAIRE: Well, I’m not paying.
DEAN: Me either.
CLAIRE: I don’t have any money.
DEAN: Neither do I.
CLAIRE: Now, what if we don’t pay we’ll have to work in the kitchen, and I just got a $150 manicure.
DEAN: I thought it was your turn to pay.
CLAIRE: Well, we have to do something.
DEAN: Let’s sneak out.
CLAIRE: What?! Are you crazy?! We could go to prison for that.
DEAN: All we have to do is just sneak out. They’ll never find us.
CLAIRE: (uneasy) I don’t know.
DEAN: Or we could just wash the restaurant’s dishes.
CLAIRE: (frustrated) Oh, alright. But first, we have to make a plan to avoid arousing suspicion.
DEAN: OK, there are still a lot of people in here so we can leave without anyone seeing. I think you should just go towards the bathroom and sneak out through the back of the restaurant.
CLAIRE: What about your? How are you gonna sneak out of the restaurant?
(A group of large people walk into the restaurant.)
DEAN: I’ll walk into that crowd of people, and sneak by, and no one will notice.
CLAIRE: But what if when they realize we’re gone, they try to catch us? Won’t they have a police sketch drawn of us, we could get in big trouble, and we could humiliate our families.
DEAN: Let’s just do it, or as I said before we can just wash the dishes to pay for the tab.
CLAIRE: All of a sudden, that does not seem like a bad thing. After all, the tab is only (looks at the receipt and makes a horrified facial expression) $95!
DEAN: You see what I mean.
CLAIRE: I guess maybe it’s not such a bad idea after all.
DEAN: See, I told you.
CLAIRE: Let’s just do it before I change my mind.
(DEAN and CLAIRE see that the waiter is coming back.)
DEAN: Just pretend to go to the bathroom.
CLAIRE: OK.
(CLAIRE picks up her purse and leaves the table.)
(The waiter stands by the table.)
WAITER: Do you have the money for the bill?
DEAN: Actually, my girlfriend will pay the bill. She just ran to the bathroom. That’s how we are. We switch the responsibility every now and then.
WAITER: I understand. Nowadays lots of women like to pay. I think it is because nowadays women see it as a part of equality.
DEAN: Yeah, you’re right. My girl is a modern woman.
(DEAN sends a text message to CLAIRE, and she runs back before she finishes.)
CLAIRE: I couldn’t do it. The guilt was killing me. Me and my boyfriend were gonna sneak out to avoid paying for the bill. You see, we both thought the other was gonna pay and we have no money. I promise, we’ll do anything just don’t have us arrested.
WAITER: (to DEAN) Is this true?
DEAN: (feeling embarrassed) Yes, and it was my idea.
WAITER: Well, I don’t have to tell you how serious this is, but since you decided to come clean, I guess I will talk to the manager on your behalf.
CLAIRE: Please do.
(WAITER leaves.)
DEAN: Now, what are we gonna do.
CLAIRE: I don’t know why you are complaining. This whole was your idea.
DEAN: Hopefully, you are right.
(c.)
MANAGER: I’ve been told about this little predicament, but since you came clean, I’ll make a deal. The two of you will work to pay off the tab. I hope that seems fair because if not, then I can always call the police.
DEAN: That works.
CLAIRE: (sheepishly looking at her manicure) I guess. It’s better than going to jail.
MANAGER: That settles it. The two of you will start right now. I need you to clear all of the tables, wash all of the dishes, clean the kitchen, and the bathroom.
(CLAIRE and DEAN look at each other with a look of fear. They get up and start clearing the tables around them. They walk into the kitchen and come out and gather more used dishes. Then they come back and get some more. The WAITER and the MANAGER laugh at their predicament, as CLAIRE and DEAN walk back into the kitchen, and come back to get more dirty dishes.)