I Cant believe i did that.

[Love.Hate]

Today I was feeling pretty shit.
And my friend came into maths crying.. saying how much she hates her life, All she was talking about was how much she needed to cut. I was trying to pursuade her not too. But she did, infront of me.. and when her eyes welled up with tears she had to go out the class. She did more.
I went out to comfort her, and i dont know what happened but as i saw the blood trickle down her arm. I got this huge urge to do it.
So i did one cut :/
Then we went back into math and all we call talk about is how stupid we were. I cant believe i almost encouraged her to do it! But at the same time i needed more, still do. Im trying my best to fight it.
I have a dance concert when i will be wearing short sleeves in 15 days!!
I need to stop on my arms for now. But i cant :(

I could have tried harder to help her. Im such a hippocrite!

So yeah. Back to day 0.
I want to know if you were in that position what would you have done? I know i made totally the wrong descision. But its too late now :(

[georgiamay]

tbh, I probably would have found it very triggering to watch that.

I don't know what you could have done. I won't lie to you, cutting infront of her probably wasn't the right thing to do, but it's done, you can't change that, so don't beat yourself up over it. All I can say is that I know exactly what you mean. If I saw someone cutting, I'd probably get the urge to do it myself.

[DarkHorses]

Hey Fran,

I can say what I would do in that situation now, but a few years ago... I think I would have done the same as you did. It's not your fault that your friend cutting triggered you to do the same. Sure, maybe you could have handled the situation a bit better, but sometimes we can't exactly think clearly as we should when we're triggered. So I definitely don't think anyone's to blame, including yourself. So try not to feel guilty.

As for not being able to cut for awhile, maybe this is a good thing. The dance you have coming up can serve as your incentive not to hurt yourself. Every time you start feeling down think about the dance and the other reasons you have not to cut yourself. Come up with a list of ways to distract yourself for the next fifteen days so that you're too busy to feel the urge to cut. It might be difficult to follow through, but it's not impossible. You can do it. :)

I'm here if you ever need to talk. Hang in there. x

[Mike321]

I think most of us would have done the same thing in that situation, I know I would.
Maybe you could of handled it better, but its not an easy situation to be in, its understandable. So dont be harsh on yourself, it wasnt your fault, whats happened has happened.
You need to move on from this, it doesnt matter that your back to day 0, you can build it back up again, you've got a concert in 15 days, you know you have to wear short sleaves, so why not make that a target to aim for (I know its quite a big one), but I think you can do it.
Hope this helps

[UnknownError]

I would of found it very triggering aswell.
But it wasn't your fault, you need to tell yourself that.
You can make 15 days, I know you can.
And if you are really desperate, try to cut somewhere else.
But obviously thats a last resort.
Good luck. :hug:

[Fiction]

I would have done it too. I once got extremley triggered by something in front of my boyfriend, so I cut in front of him. I really regret it now, but it's in the past. Just letting you know you're not the only one that would do it :)

[LittleEpidemic]

I saw cuts on a girl in my class' wrist on tuesday and i started shaking cus it was so triggering, i managed to stop myself but then i gave in that evening cus it had got stronger and stronger all day
I did 33
If i had even done as much as took one scab off it would have been enough at the time so just be glad you only did one <3

And also because of your dance concert, use that as a target and maybe if you feel the urge then you can practice a bit to clear your head?
Obviously that wont work in school though but its just an idea

Good luck hun ^^