I'm resisting!

[Magenta]

I'm so proud.

Tonight was a very distressing one for me. I was in the same coffee shop my best friend was when she was on the phone with me before I was trying to kill myself. I just felt terrible, believing I shouldn't have been in there because I should not have been alive.

When I got home, I wanted to tear up my arm. I wanted to take a knife and shred it more than I have. But I didn't. Instead, I got my bandage and covered it so I would not accidentally start scratching it without noticing. I would not let myself hurt myself.

I am home alone. I have an entire house of highly sharp objects at my unsupervised disposal. Usually, I would have hurt myself by now. But I haven't. I'm keeping myself safe and I'm so happy. Thinking I'm going to keep the bandage on until it heals to resist the urge of making it worse.

:yeah:

EDIT: I also do not want to end up in the hospital for a third time in three weeks. I do not want anyone to get a phone call or email saying that I'm there again.

Doing really well.

[Kahn]

Good. That's a phenomenal thing to do, and it's the start to getting better. I'm happy for you :)

[MadManWithaBox]

Well done honey, so I knew you could do it! KBO my dear!

[Magenta]

I'm exhausted though. The mental effort ends up draining me to the point that physically I want to collapse while standing. So much other stress... I'm so tired. Not sure how to get through my day without passing out.

[TheSleepingInsomniac]

Hang in there, your doing really well.
PS i'll remember the bandage trick.

[Weeping]

That's awesome! :D Still hanging on?

:hug:

[closed]

That's so great! you should be realyl proud of yourself. I'm sure you can do even more :)
good luck :hug:

[Magenta]

Still hanging on, Elvira. Took the day off school due to exhaustion and I conveniently have a doctor's appointment this afternoon.

[Njathind]

JO, well done, I'm so proud. You can carry on I know you can. Being in hospital is horrible I know but hey, you managed to avoid another trip and for that you should be proud of yourself. Your doing good, I made the mistake of attempting it in my room so whenever I go back to sleep there its kinda akward and I cant get away from it, maybe avoiding the coffee shop might help?

Either way your doin good, please please keep up the good work :hug:

[Magenta]

I'm trying. Took the bandage off for a bit but it's starting to itch... as are some scars on my ankle. I want to cut so badly. Gah!!!

[Mike321]

Your doing really well Jo, you can do this.
So you should be proud of yourself, this is a really big achievment.
Keep going, you can do it!

[Magenta]

Four days went to zero. :( It's nothing bad but I still did it. I could have stopped myself. Now I regret it.

It wasn't even worth it. Wow, I'm stupid.

[Njathind]

Four days went to zero. :( It's nothing bad but I still did it. I could have stopped myself. Now I regret it.

It wasn't even worth it. Wow, I'm stupid.

Dont worry, it just a slip up. And as you said at least it's not too bad. Just pick yourself up and try and turn 4 days into 5.

And your not stupid, your a beautiful person that unfortunatly has lost their way, you will be back on your feet soon, I know it :D

[HeroesAndCons]

Good job jro
if u ever need me pm me :hug:
and thanks for the bandage trick