Um... Confused?

[Alexithymia]

I know I'm the messed up kid. Sometimes I hate that. Sometimes I don't mind it. Right now, I'm bit unsure of something messed up about me.

I feel guilty for eating over... Oh, around 1,000 calories a day. I always feel bad for eating, but I just can't resist some of it. If I do manage to eat too much, I try an purge.

I also go on cycles. Like I go on a bit on an anorexic diet, then a bit of a normal diet. It flips back and forth, and my weight tends to fluctuate anywhere from 105lbs to 110lbs.

Currently on the anorexic diet. 330 calories so far and worried that I'll eat more. Now, I don't want a diagnosis. I know that you guys can't diagnose me. But, does this sound like an eating disorder and does it sound like I should get professional help? Also, if it is an eating disorder, which does it sound like? Sorry, I know I just asked not to diagnose myself, but I enjoy being labeled. Makes me feel... safe.

Thanks and sorry about the long post.

[Fiction]

It is definatly an eating disorder, i'm the same. I switch between those two diets too. This sounds like EDNOS. There is a sticky on that in this forum and i suggest you take a look :)

[Alexithymia]

All right, thanks Kathy.

[smitty35]

I think you should try eating foods you like and go from there. And at first you can avoid eating the foods you dont like at all.

[Alexithymia]

It's not that. I enjoy foods a lot. It's just that I feel... horrible for when I do eat. I feel like I've disappointed myself somehow. Like eating that extra bite of food wasn't something I should have done. Everyone calls me skinny, but I know that I'm actually super chubby. Thanks for trying though. I guess I can eat foods that I like more than others, and then go from there. :)

[Fiction]

Go look at the poem i just posted in the open book. You might be able to relate to it. Idk might help you somehow :)

[Alexithymia]

Doesn't necessarily help, except now I know what I might become down this road. I can relate to it though.

[Fiction]

Ah ok, thought it might help to realise you're not the only one, and yeah it will show you what can happen, and how it isn't nice.
I'm here if you ever want to talk.

[Awemage]

Hey, don't feel chubby, if EVERYONE is mentioning that you are skinny, that means they are concerned, you are only as fat as you think you are, which I can guarantee, you probably are very skinny, please do not feel guilty for not eating that extra bite, you should eat at least 2,000 calories a day, the human minimum. If you feel chubby still, then exercise, don't starve and/or purge, all that does is slowly kill you. And you are at puberty age, which means you need to eat more now than ever. 330 calories is as bad as a concentration camp prisoner. Don't starve yourself, please. I do not like when fellow human beings die.

[DerBear]

Hey, don't feel chubby, if EVERYONE is mentioning that you are skinny, that means they are concerned, you are only as fat as you think you are, which I can guarantee, you probably are very skinny, please do not feel guilty for not eating that extra bite, you should eat at least 2,000 calories a day, the human minimum. If you feel chubby still, then exercise, don't starve and/or purge, all that does is slowly kill you. And you are at puberty age, which means you need to eat more now than ever. 330 calories is as bad as a concentration camp prisoner. Don't starve yourself, please. I do not like when fellow human beings die.

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