Log in

View Full Version : Sitting by a window in the train


closed
January 8th, 2011, 05:15 AM
Tried to do modern writing... not succeful, but it's here for you to tell what you think :) (i'm curious)


Sitting by a window in a train

In the mid-nowhere on a train,
A kid stares, tries to stay sane.
Out of the window, there is snow,
So strange, and unknown.

From the window you can see:
People, animals, over the sea.
It’s cold out there, it’s vile,
You wish to see someone’s smile.

The train goes on and on,
We sit on the misery throne.
Misery, poverty and pain,
Illness, fraud and now there is rain.

Now there is mist everywhere,
There is nothing but this nightmare.
The train is moving through it,
It’s warm, but you want to quit.

You drive through infinity,
You think you are in divinity,
You hit something hard.
In the small bubble of the train
It’s dark.

The train is cold,
You are just an old mold.
Now you feel the real world-
Heavy, sad, uncontrolled.

There is no bubble,
This is done.
You jump from the train,
And try to run.

The drop was rough,
You felt pain long enough.
And the kid stays in the snow,
Lying motionless through it all-
But he was no more.

nick
January 8th, 2011, 05:18 AM
I like it :)

districtnowhere
January 8th, 2011, 05:32 AM
I like it too it's really good.

smalltowngirl9189
January 8th, 2011, 06:10 PM
It's really good!

Eagle63
January 8th, 2011, 06:33 PM
Build on it and turn it into a song, man!!! Better than the stuff I write. Nice work :-D

lipstick_kisses23
January 8th, 2011, 06:35 PM
it sounded kinda sad =[