Missing Out?

[KillerKing]

Hi,
Just wondering if anyone out feels like they're missing out on having relationships in their teens. Right now, I'm 16 and Bi, I've had two fairly long lasting relationships in the past with 2 different girls, But back then I wasn't ready for those relationship because I was too immature in a way. And I guess I was too scared to be myself. But now I feel like i want another relatonship but with a boy, I'm not saying if I fell for a girl and she was interested I would turn around and say no sorry not right now because, well, thats just silly. It's just that, I relly want a boyfriend but see, the phrase 'Beggers can't be choosers' applies to me here, because well, In public I would be really shy with a boyfriend because of society not being fully acceptive of gays or bi's sooo it's like I dont want to get funny looks and judged, so I wouldn't want a guy who loves to show off his relationship. I mean, when I've gone shopping up town or out for fun, I have only EVER! seen straight couples... I'm kinda rambling on now, but my point here/question/asking for advice is... Am I going completely mad?, Am i pathetic ffor being scared of people judging me?, Does anyone else feel like this?

It's just, I'm in sixth form, I'm extrememly paranoid with people, always questioning their motives and right now in the whole school their 1 maybe two guys I'm interested in.. I'd like to get the fact I'm Bi out to them to see they're response and if they're interested in me, seen as, I'm not attractive, that's not just negative thinking on my part I'll admit I'm not absolutely ugly and that I could be worse off but I'm not really handsome. And also, sorta just let them know in a casual way like tell someone else and it gets back to them, Or maybe if it just comes up in conversation. AHH GOD, I didn't know I had this many thoughts on it so this probably could of been structured better and made shorter, but If your still reading Well done, your reward.. I shall end it here.

Please just you know, make sense of it and let me know what you think...
Im going CooCoo here...

[Tristin.]

your not going mad. Im 15, iv had one long lasting relationship, another short one and a few crushes. Im gay, so i know what you mean by "only seeing straight couples" yes there are more of them, but you just have to hold your head high. Iv felt like im being watched before when im out and i always feel people are judging me, but when im with the right boy, all that doesnt matter, all that matters is the fact he chose me.
I consider myself ugly, not horrific, but hardly average.

You just have to fully accept who you are, once that part is done its easier to go out in public. you will get looks when snogging another guy in the middle of a park thoughg :P

as for the two guys problem you have, are you out yet? or still in the closet?
if your out then, just drop hints in a conversation with them. if your still in, then its a whole new ball game.

you will need to be 100% sure you are bi before saying anything! its a huge thing to take back. once your sure. just tell your close friends, then tell who you feel ready to tell, by the time you get to your parents you will not be so nervous. from there they will probably have found out by then so your problem with telling them should have gone.

i hope this helps :)
X

[Fact]

Hi,
And I guess I was too scared to be myself. But now I feel like i want another relatonship but with a boy...
It's just that, I relly want a boyfriend but see, the phrase 'Beggers can't be choosers' applies to me here, because well, In public I would be really shy with a boyfriend because of society not being fully acceptive of gays or bi's sooo it's like I dont want to get funny looks and judged, so I wouldn't want a guy who loves to show off his relationship. I mean, when I've gone shopping up town or out for fun, I have only EVER! seen straight couples... I'm kinda rambling on now, but my point here/question/asking for advice is... Am I going completely mad?, Am i pathetic ffor being scared of people judging me?, Does anyone else feel like this?

You still sound like you're scared/haven't fully accepted the fact that you're bisexual (as you'll see in the parts I've highlighted bold).
If you're going to have a boyfriend, then you shouldn't be scared about it! By no means am I suggesting that you should walk around with a sign saying "I HAVE A BOYFRIEND" plastered on your head, but you shouldn't feel ashamed or like you can't express yourself because of other people.

However, you're not going mad and you're not pathetic. Humans are judgemental, that will never change - but that doesn't mean your relationships should be restricted just because of everyone else's opinion.

It's just, I'm in sixth form, I'm extrememly paranoid with people, always questioning their motives and right now in the whole school their 1 maybe two guys I'm interested in...

The more scared you are of people, the more likely it is that they'll be sceptical back.

You just need to find a way of being comfortable in yourself to do what you want without being afraid of what others are going to say. Once you do that, I think you'll feel much better about wanting/having a boyfriend.

[KillerKing]

your not going mad. Im 15, iv had one long lasting relationship, another short one and a few crushes. Im gay, so i know what you mean by "only seeing straight couples" yes there are more of them, but you just have to hold your head high. Iv felt like im being watched before when im out and i always feel people are judging me, but when im with the right boy, all that doesnt matter, all that matters is the fact he chose me.
I consider myself ugly, not horrific, but hardly average.

You just have to fully accept who you are, once that part is done its easier to go out in public. you will get looks when snogging another guy in the middle of a park thoughg :P

as for the two guys problem you have, are you out yet? or still in the closet?
if your out then, just drop hints in a conversation with them. if your still in, then its a whole new ball game.

you will need to be 100% sure you are bi before saying anything! its a huge thing to take back. once your sure. just tell your close friends, then tell who you feel ready to tell, by the time you get to your parents you will not be so nervous. from there they will probably have found out by then so your problem with telling them should have gone.

i hope this helps :)
X

You still sound like you're scared/haven't fully accepted the fact that you're bisexual (as you'll see in the parts I've highlighted bold).
If you're going to have a boyfriend, then you shouldn't be scared about it! By no means am I suggesting that you should walk around with a sign saying "I HAVE A BOYFRIEND" plastered on your head, but you shouldn't feel ashamed or like you can't express yourself because of other people.

However, you're not going mad and you're not pathetic. Humans are judgemental, that will never change - but that doesn't mean your relationships should be restricted just because of everyone else's opinion.



The more scared you are of people, the more likely it is that they'll be sceptical back.

You just need to find a way of being comfortable in yourself to do what you want without being afraid of what others are going to say. Once you do that, I think you'll feel much better about wanting/having a boyfriend.


I'm only out to like 4 friends. I'm very comfortable with being Bi, I like the fact that I'm open and not limited but It's just a thing I have about being judged, It doesn't matter whether it's my sexuality or how i look or doing something different in front of people. I just hate to be judged and looked at, not because what people say affects me but because I don't believe they have the right too, but I can't stop them.

[Tristin.]

if thats the case, then we cant help. everybody has the right to judge others, should they? no, not really, we all have flaws but to think of somebody different because of them is wrong.

haters will hate, deal with it. you are you and nobody can change that

[KillerKing]

if thats the case, then we cant help. everybody has the right to judge others, should they? no, not really, we all have flaws but to think of somebody different because of them is wrong.

haters will hate, deal with it. you are you and nobody can change that

And I don't want to change, I just want to be accepted for it instead of being shown ignorance from those that class themselves as higher than me for some stupid reason.

It's just really bugging me, I guess it can be partly because of lack of self confidence too, I just need someone who will understand, and perhaps is even in the same situation is me. But, I know reality, and I know it doesn't work like that. I'm not just gonna bump into someone and it's all gonna go smoothly from there, and that is the most crushing thing.

[Tristin.]

when you find somebody who you truely love and who truely loves you, you will have that understanding, 100%