i listened while he hurt her

[Barelythere]

i just stood there, listenign to her screaming, him yelling, the thumps, and bangs, i was stuck i was so scared i couldnt move, everything just hit me, everytime he had ever hurt me, all my pain, all the times i tryed protecting her, and his eyes, when his is angry all he has to do is look at me and i start shaking, im so pathetic, how could i let that happen, he made me listen, i felt so sick, i was crying, actually crying, the first time in i cant remember how long, i was crying, because he was hurting her and i was just standing there,

after i went to comfort her, he called me away, started on me, it was normal, i could take that, then he stopped, and told me how beautiful i was, kept staring at my boobs, saying i should be hot and to take my jumper off, made me hug him, he put his hands down my trousers and held my bum, made me give him a kiss, then just as quickly he changed back, was angry again, stormed off, i went back to my sister, tryed comforting her again, this time my mom comes and took me away, staterd yelling at me, blaming me for everything under the sun, pushing me, then she went back to my sister and hugged her,
they went out after that, i spoke with my sister for 2 and a half hours, i lvoe her so much i hate to see her hurt, but im gunna fix it,

just DONT start telling me to tell the cops, i cant you dont understadn, your not in my situation, the responsibitly, the danger of them finding out and more hurting, i couldnt, if i say something and my sister says it didnt happen or my mom and dad says it didnt happen, then the police are goin to look at me as a lier and my case against my cousin will be lost before its started, so please dont tell me to tell the police, thank you x

[mRojas2000]

Why can't we tell you to go to the police?? you have to tell your sister what that bastard does, and now that she's seen it and felt it herself, you guys have to tell the truth both... two people can't possibly lie about abuse.

[Whisper]

my mum had a very similar situation when she was growing up
her dad my grandpa was a severe alcoholic and when he was drunk he would beat the shit out of my mum her little sister and her mum (my grandma)
on my mums 18th birthday she moved out
just disapeared off the face of the earth for over a year
then one night
her mum called her
my mum was in a neighbooring city at the time only a few hrs away
aperantly it had been really bad that night
my mum tore off to there house (literally like she went like 220 in a 100 zone) got there found him sitting in a chair in the living room asleep 2 empty bottles of vodka beside him
she smashed one of them over the back of his head (he woke up) and she proceded to kick the shit out of him
once she knocked him onto the ground stunned she smashed the second bottle on the counter and jumped on him
she was going to slit his throat
her mum was balling and pulling on her saying hes not worth it! hes not worth it!!
over and over
my mum got up off of him told him to get the fuck out and if he ever laid a hand on her her mum or her little sister again shed kill'em

he never attacked any of them again

aprerantly when she was little it was really bad though
hed sneak into there room in the middle of the night and just go ape shit
it got to the point where even the slightest change in the air currents would wake my mum up shed grab her sis and theyd hide or escape out the window

now back then telling the cops would do nothing whatsoever
she would run literally in her PJ's bare foot in the middle of a canadian winter to the cops station to get them cause he was going to beat her mum to death
cops would show and theyd just be like well ya know ya really shouldnt be doin that
try not to next time k
-leave-

its not like that anymore
they will step in if you show marks if you talk to your sister and get her to talk but even if they just see a few marks
its enough for them to be concerned about your and your sisters well being

I dont live anywhere near you
I wish I did
I really do
I'd do everything I could to protect you and your sister
but realitys never as kind as we'd like
the fact is i'm thousands of miles away
and the only people that stand a hope in stopping this
in making it better is the police
I know you dont want us to tell you to go to them
but if you want it to stop
if your tired of him hurting you and your sister
then you have to
nothing else will stop it

i'm so so sorry hun
I really am

~xXx~

[Jordo]

AHHH this makes me so mad I wish I could do something ..... but I know I cant

[Sapphire]

Oh hunni, I so wish I could help you. Also, I have an overwhelming urge to give you loads of hugs :hug: lol

If you speak to your sister, the two of you can speak out against him and what he's been doing. If you get her to talk too then no one can ignore it or sweep it under the carpet.

[Barelythere]

i cant, theres no way im goin agenst him, i tryed standing up to him tonight, he took my hand and slammed a can of baked bean on it a few times, cut the skin, hes dented all the chopping board and that was just for asking why we couldnt have beans on toast for dinner

[mRojas2000]

:hug: Just stay strong always, and remember that someday you will get the hell outta that, and you'll be free... free to do whatever you want, and no one will ever hurt you!! I can feel that you are going to be a really stong women.. you're having a really bad time now, being a teenager, and you're still here, trying to get help from us... but we can't do much for obvious reasons... just stay strong and always remember that one day you will start to be happy, and you won't have to deal with your dad or cousin, or whoever hurts you inside... you are going to born again, stronger, and thoughter than ever...

[Whisper]

don't just stand up to him by yourself hun
call the cops
911
right now
tell them whats happened
whats been happening for far to long
show them your hand

[Zazu]

Fight removed

Oh and Harrie, i'm so fucking sorry to hear bout this! I thought u had already gone to the police? He's scum and he needs fucking sorting out. Well look, if u wanna talk on msn i'm always there *hugs*

{Edited by Whisper}

[mRojas2000]

Leave him.. he's just a spammer

[Zazu]

Meh, yeh, soz.

[Bobby]

I agree my self that she should tell the police. Her and I have discussed this matter and she has good reasons not to tell. So don't just keep
saying "tell the police" If she feels she can share why she doesn't want to tell.

[Whisper]

Okay
i'm not in her shoes
I realise every situations diffrent
but i hope she realises it will not just go away
on the contrary it will most likley get worse
if she wants it to stop
she knows what she has to do

[Bobby]

You don't realize the reason why her father is abusing her. That might change your prosepctive a bit.

[Whisper]

I garuntee you it wouldnt
I do not know the details of her situation because she does not deem it necessary for me to know
this is her right

But i am not new to abuse both physical and mental
i've felt the searing pain serge through me
and I know with every fiber in my being that abuse is wrong nomatter the reasons

[Bobby]

Hmmm...ok. I don't want to start a fight over this. But if you knew it might change your views a little, not completely. We all agree abuse is bad.

[Sapphire]

But anthony you have to understand that if her sister's account does not match Harrie's then things will not progress. It would be Harrie's word against her family's word. Who would have more sway? A 17 yr old girl or her sister, mother and father?

[shadowman]

if one of my parents laid their hands on me i wouldn't bring it to the cops. i would find something to kill them with. but i have been known to have some anger issues. i had to go to anger management in like gr 3-4 because some kid said my mom was an ugly b*tch. so i broke his nose with my fist. like 20 punches untill a parent saw me and grabbed me off. but i still believe if a parent beats a child. (more so a girl) they deserve to die.

[Sapphire]

They may very well deserve it. But take into consideration what Gandalf says in LOTR The Fellowship of The Ring.

"Many that live deserve death. Some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Frodo? Do not be too eager to deal out death and judgement."

There is wisdom in this. It is not fair, but it is wisdom none the less.

[serial-thrilla]

if one of my parents laid their hands on me i wouldn't bring it to the cops. i would find something to kill them with. but i have been known to have some anger issues. i had to go to anger management in like gr 3-4 because some kid said my mom was an ugly b*tch. so i broke his nose with my fist. like 20 punches untill a parent saw me and grabbed me off. but i still believe if a parent beats a child. (more so a girl) they deserve to die. thats pretty dumb. sometimes a child needs to be smacked to get through to them. i sure as hell will do it to my children if they are hard to deal with. as long as they arent harsh beatings i think that parents have all the right in the world to hit their kids as long as it isent to injure and just to teach them.

[Barelythere]

my dad uses that excuse, he says he is tteaching me a lesson, making me remember my place, so you think what he does is ok?

u would justify it for that, a lesson,

sitting in my room doin my homework, and he comes in, beats the shit outa me, then leaves, that sound like im hard to deal with?

how can hitting a child ever be right?

hittign a child just means the adult cannot control them selves,

you should see my face and back atm, im covered with bruses

funny thing is only 2 ppl have asked, 2 ppl out of all the ppl i see everyday, ppl are so blind, and theyu just dont care, thats why things like this happen, because no1 cares, not truely, why would i risk telling some one, when they dont care, most proberly wont believe me, and will cause my dad to be extreamly angry, why would i do that? im not stupid


and who ever said it I CARE FOR MY SISTER SO MUCH DONT EVER FUCKING QUESTION THAT you dont no what i do for her, so dont start with that bull shit, u dont no, not tellign is the lesser of two evils in my eyes. im sorry but thats how it is

and wisper dont start trying to make me feel guilty for not saying the reasons behind me, wheter u ment it to come across like that or not, it did, next time be more careful with how u word things

[shadowman]

thrilla u misunderstood me. i mean beaten. not a smack or push. but u never touch a female to hurt them

[serial-thrilla]

my dad uses that excuse, he says he is tteaching me a lesson, making me remember my place, so you think what he does is ok?

u would justify it for that, a lesson,

sitting in my room doin my homework, and he comes in, beats the shit outa me, then leaves, that sound like im hard to deal with?

how can hitting a child ever be right?

hittign a child just means the adult cannot control them selves,

you should see my face and back atm, im covered with bruses

funny thing is only 2 ppl have asked, 2 ppl out of all the ppl i see everyday, ppl are so blind, and theyu just dont care, thats why things like this happen, because no1 cares, not truely, why would i risk telling some one, when they dont care, most proberly wont believe me, and will cause my dad to be extreamly angry, why would i do that? im not stupid


and who ever said it I CARE FOR MY SISTER SO MUCH DONT EVER FUCKING QUESTION THAT you dont no what i do for her, so dont start with that bull shit, u dont no, not tellign is the lesser of two evils in my eyes. im sorry but thats how it is

and wisper dont start trying to make me feel guilty for not saying the reasons behind me, wheter u ment it to come across like that or not, it did, next time be more careful with how u word thingsya well what your dad does is absolutly unacceptable. and if what he does is true and you dont provoke him at all i think he may be insane. what i mean is like a smack or a spank to keep the child in line.

[Sapphire]

What can possibly be worst than getting abused? You know it's wrong thats why you created this thread and you refuse to do anything about it because you think shes in a better situation getting abused. You make no effort to do anything about it you just give up without trying and allow it to happen. You're setting a bad example for your sister to be silent about it. I hope one day you wake up and realize that you're dead wrong or your sister ignores your ways of handling things and tells someone. One day you might regret not telling sooner.

That is so out of order! You, nor I, can even begin to comprehend what it is like for Harrie or her sister. For all we know Harrie may be on the receiving end of it more than her sister. You do not know about her past efforts so you are not in a position to say any of that which you have said. If you were in that situation. If you had been raised at the end of abuse. I seriously doubt you would do different to Harrie. So shut your yapper.

[Sapphire]

What can possibly be worst than getting abused? You know it's wrong thats why you created this thread and you refuse to do anything about it because you think shes in a better situation getting abused. You make no effort to do anything about it you just give up without trying and allow it to happen. You're setting a bad example for your sister to be silent about it. I hope one day you wake up and realize that you're dead wrong or your sister ignores your ways of handling things and tells someone. One day you might regret not telling sooner.

^This post is aggressive, not advisory. If you were advising then you would have used more persuasive and supportive language. Telling her she makes no effort, for example, does not encourage her to do so. Neither does your statement "you refuse to do anything about it because you think shes in a better situation getting abused"

If you aim to advise then use more supportive and kinder statements and phrases.

[Barelythere]

well your 'advice' is harsh, and yes i do think not telling is the better option, what could be worse? well having your family taken away for one, being taken away from everything you no, everyone you love and care about, i think that is fsr worse than the v rare beats she gets, and alot of the time she does start it, she is nothing like me, she makes it so much worse for her self, im not trying to say that that makes what ny dad does ok, im just saying, it is a little less severe

and dont start telling me i do nothing and jsut give up, how do u no what i do, its hard enough at the moment just to keep u a level of normality, mayb right now is not the right time to do anything,ever think of that?

and do not tell me i am setting a bad example to my sister, how dare you, i am doin the best i can with the sercomestances, id like to see you try...

[Sapphire]

Stop it with the "what you would do" reasoning. It's so annoying. You accuse me of saying "I don't know Harrie so shut your yapper" but here you are telling me what I would do when you in fact don't know anything about me at all. You hypocrite.
Everyone gives his or her advice differently and I'm entitled to give mine how I want to, as long as its in the site rules.

Now please stop fighting with me because I really don't feel like it. If you want the last word in, fine, but don't expect a reply because I don't want this thread to go more off topic than it already is.

I didnt say anything in last post about what anyone else would do. Nor did I carry on with my "what you would do" reasoning as you call it.

Use of language on a forum is important as no one can gauge how it is meant through facial expressions, tone of voice etc. That is why I initially jumped on it. My reasons are more clearly stated in my second post.

[Bobby]

Everybody calm down.. Please don't fight this is a forum for helping people.

I really don't want to lock this thread..but if I have to I will. And If it comes to it warnings/infractions will be given.

[cheetin]

Why Arnt The Admins Doing Anything This Person Is In Trouble Help Her. U Have Her Email Call The Cops And Give Them The Email So They Can Trace Her Down And Help Her. She Needs Help Somebody Do Something Before I Do

[Barelythere]

my sister is 13, but she is stronger than me, in more ways than one :S i am trying my best to help her and the situation, but theres alot goin on atm


and please DO NOT CALL THE COPS FOR ME, someone sugested this on another site and i left because of it, i dont want to leave here, please dont, please

[Bobby]

Why Arnt The Admins Doing Anything This Person Is In Trouble Help Her. U Have Her Email Call The Cops And Give Them The Email So They Can Trace Her Down And Help Her. She Needs Help Somebody Do Something Before I Do

You should read the thread before posting. She doens't want to call the cops. Harrie, since we don't know your adress and exact location none of us can call the cops.

[serial-thrilla]

in all honestly calling the cops is the only thing you can do to put a stop to your sister being beaten.

[Zazu]

Hi Harry, i'm really sorry to hear about what's still going on. Just remeber to keep strong, don't let him beat your mentality, you don't deserve it! I just really feel that your opinion is obviously your choice, if you don't want to tell anyone then don't, your life is your control, you control it, not your dad. But just make sure you are supporting your sister, which i'm pretty sure you are, and I tihnk you must be doing a great job in a situation like this. Well, yeh, my general opinion is that you should tell someone but like i said it's your life but just remebr to stay above your dad. If you ever want to talk on msn then i'm normaly on, keep safe.

[aryadorable]

omg thats horrible
im so sorry

[mattrg47]

thats pretty dumb. sometimes a child needs to be smacked to get through to them. i sure as hell will do it to my children if they are hard to deal with. as long as they arent harsh beatings i think that parents have all the right in the world to hit their kids as long as it isent to injure and just to teach them.

Well I dont agree with that at all! No Kid desevers to be hit like that! I have been in that kind of environment myself. I was only abused once but I still know wut it is like. You sit and wonder when will be the next time it happens, and how could u have been so stupid to have made him/her so mad. But, to tell u the truth, its not are falut. It is the parents falut. But Girl, let me tell u this just hang in there You WILL get out!

[thisisjohn]

im sorry to hear this, i feel sorry for you, really. here's my advice, the next time youre dad does something to you, like the canned beans incident, then show it to the cops, that could help. im really sorry to hear that that's happening to you, really really sorry. i dont wanna sound religious but ill pray for you. i hope those SOB parents of yours get what they deserve.

[gotstyle]

Sick people in this world to bad when he born they can't just say it son or daughter is going to be a sick pathetic duck that deserves to be nailed to a chair and get their sick chopped off and shoved up his ass

[RedwoodCurtain]

You need to tell somebody you trust, a teacher maybe? They are required by law to do something about it.
That way, you can tell your dad that you didn't say anything, they saw the bruises. Even when abuse us suspected you are required by law to inform authority, at least in the US.
I read something earlier today that said "choosing the lesser of two evils, is still choosing evil"
I know what it feels like to be abused, physically-mentally etc, you're dad thinks what he is doing is ok. He's very unhappy/angry. Something needs to happen, don't think people don't care. Sometimes, it's hard for people to do something about it. Just like it's hard for you to tell the police/authority. I suggest you take pictures of the bruising on you and your sister. You guys dont deserve that. The cycle of abuse has to stop or one of you will end up passing it on to your children (that's why i'm scared to have kids)
But, at the end of the day, this is up to you. If your law enforcement is a good one, they should take you and your sister away from him. And he will go to jail.

[RedwoodCurtain]

And it has to stop before one of you is seriously injured!(or killed)

[Lofiel]

A) Tell someone
B) Keep being abused

That's about your only choices.

[Sordid Saint]

This thread is from 2007, please do not post in old threads. :locked: