My Bromance

[coolkid719]

So I have my bromance, and we really love each other. We've only known each other for a year, and we've gotten very close really, really fast. We'll in a bromantic relationship that people accept btw lol.

We hug each other, we get the touchy-feely things like massaging each other's shoulders, put our heads together, touch each other's hair, put our arms around each other from behind.

But what I'm concerned about is, that I feel like I'm doing it more. I'm more expressive about
it. (and apparently I'm writing about this.)

Like for example, we get online on skype, and I'm the one who usually makes the first IM.
Few times, I was online the whole time, and when he gets online, and just wanted to see if he makes the first IM, and he usually doesn't T_T (I mean, come on...this is what a girl would do to the guy she likes), and I'm like what am I doing here...

And I don't think he is that expressive...but I just think he's overall inexpressive in some ways and has a hard time showing his feelings. But I'm still a bit concerned and it makes me feel like he's uncomfortable and awkward with it, so it makes me feel like I have to back off.

Plus, he has a girlfriend(who is also one of my best friends), and to be honest, i am REALLY jealous.

Sometimes I just feel like I have an attraction towards my best friend a little bit over a friend.
Like my orientation is straight and best-friend attraction or something lol

I really love my best friend a lot.
I just sometimes want to be like "Ok, fine be that way~" in like a joking-grudging manner if you know what I mean, and I want to express to him without feeling like I have to back off or something you know?

I don't know what to do with this bromance-expressing thing and the jealously I have.
Help?

[Tristin.]

if i didnt know better, id say it sounded a little more than a bromance. you could say i have a "bromance" with my brother, but im not sure that counts?

have you considered the possability of you being bi, gay or curious, this could explain how you are feeling something a little more?

i think alot of guys find it hard to talk "emotions" and "feelings", it may just be he is shy about that sort of thing, try and talk to him about it.

hope this helps, although im not sure it will

[coolkid719]

if i didnt know better, id say it sounded a little more than a bromance. you could say i have a "bromance" with my brother, but im not sure that counts?

have you considered the possability of you being bi, gay or curious, this could explain how you are feeling something a little more?

i think alot of guys find it hard to talk "emotions" and "feelings", it may just be he is shy about that sort of thing, try and talk to him about it.

hope this helps, although im not sure it will

Oh no no, it surely helps. Thank you btw :)

But I guess I could be curious, but talking about it makes it a bit more awkward...

[Tristin.]

just bring it up casualy, dont make anything big of it, just bring it up over a game of football (soccer) or whatever sport your into. Just think about the whole curiosity thing, it could be more, if you need to talk, just drop a line :)

[Myrnodin]

Im with tristin here. Try to talk about it casually. Id say you survey what he feels, perhaps he feels the same way as you but hes just not the expressing kind. To me it sounds like more than just curiosity. I dont agree with cheating or anything like that, but pehaps if you two talk, you will also get a "solution" for his gf. I think that relationships that begin as friendships, are usually the most healty and cute ones. ^^ Go ahead and talk, there is power in word.

[ccrunner]

I know what you mean about the feelings but my bros and I don't stop lol but the best thing to dom is just talk to him

[PJay]

I think that relationships that begin as friendships, are usually the most healty and cute ones. ^^ Go ahead and talk, there is power in word.

Totally agree with this :)

You love this guy, its obvious, and you are really lucky to have that. It may not be romantic love ... but I agree with Tristin that it kind of sounds like it.

Being jealous of his girlfriend (which must have been hard to say, so kudos on that btw) is pretty significant. Perhaps you should be asking yourself what are you jealous off exactly? The time he's spending with her, or what hes doing when he's with her?

[coolkid719]

Totally agree with this :)

You love this guy, its obvious, and you are really lucky to have that. It may not be romantic love ... but I agree with Tristin that it kind of sounds like it.

Being jealous of his girlfriend (which must have been hard to say, so kudos on that btw) is pretty significant. Perhaps you should be asking yourself what are you jealous off exactly? The time he's spending with her, or what hes doing when he's with her?

I'm jealous about the time he's spending with her lol
not what he's doing...I don't really want to...kiss him or be all lustful...although my eyes burn when I see them kissing :) lol but that's just joking around.
Just the friendship skinship, basically almost kinda like two female friends, just that not that emotionally expressive.

I hangout with the two(friend and girlfriend) of them a lot, and I end up as the third wheel obviously T_T, and I think they just subconsciously exclude me, of course, cause they're a couple. I guess I kinda understand that...but I still feel excluded ya know? The girlfriend is also my best friend(actually have a deeper friendship with her, went through a lot) but I want to spend more time with my guy friend(bromance).

[Nelson]

Okay, this is the best thing I can say..
Look at my blogs, I had the best friendship with my best mate, which got coined as a bromance, It went right down the 'shitter because "I acted like a girlfriend"

Best advice
1. Keep contact to a minimum, Like don't text/I.M/Whatever to the extent where your texting every day, It will make you way to attached to him.
2. AVOID ANYTHING SEXUAL, It will definitly ruin every shred of friendship that is there.

It's good to have a friendship like that, but when it falls apart, IF it falls apart, It will kill you.. No joke..

[PJay]

It's good to have a friendship like that, but when it falls apart, IF it falls apart, It will kill you.. No joke..

Good advice there, but on that last point - trouble is, when you care for anyone you give them power to hurt you. Thats always the risk with any friendship. Obviously the deeper those feelings go the more they hurt, but that shouldn't stop you caring / loving imho. But backing off might be the other way to go, even if it hurts a bit to do it now.

[coolkid719]

Okay, this is the best thing I can say..
Look at my blogs, I had the best friendship with my best mate, which got coined as a bromance, It went right down the 'shitter because "I acted like a girlfriend"

Best advice
1. Keep contact to a minimum, Like don't text/I.M/Whatever to the extent where your texting every day, It will make you way to attached to him.
2. AVOID ANYTHING SEXUAL, It will definitly ruin every shred of friendship that is there.

It's good to have a friendship like that, but when it falls apart, IF it falls apart, It will kill you.. No joke..

Well, everything I seem to understand and agree...but we basically text and IM everyday^^;
Hmm...it almost fell apart once, and we kinda made a distance from each other, but I noticed that both of us wants to really be back to really good friends again, so we were actually backing off due to a pride problem.
But everything worked out, and actually after we had that distance, we got even more friendlier...
But I hope he won't leave me, because I won't leave him.

[grstl]

In ninth grade a guy I knew had a total crush on a girl who never noticed him. Problem was that I did notice him...a lot! He was really cute and we were both into music together. Sad for me, the best I got was one time he asked me to wash his back in the school shower. We both got boners but that was it...I'm sure he was thinking of her. However, I was thinking of him and still do when I play my guitar he borrowed. Perhaps you could keep something related to him to help ease your feelings.

[xaydavis]

Yeah i agree with grstl

[DerBear]

Please don't bump old threads. This was from 2011