Where did this come from?

[Magenta]

All of a sudden, I wanted to lose weight. I've starved myself before as punishment when I've been upset but I never wanted to obsessively watch the numbers on the scale drop. I never considered calories.

I don't obsess over them but they're definitely something I realize I pay attention to now. Why? Why on earth did this happen? I feel like I'm jumping from one issue to the next.

I eat and I feel disgusting. I will eat a bit then still be hungry so I eat more then get so angry with myself. I'll then cut out meals to make up for it. I also work my arse off in gym.

Gah!

[Fiction]

Most mental disorders have triggers, things in your life that cause you to develop them. This means that the same trigger can cause many problems. This could be why you have more than one.
Try to not pay attention to calories or to weigh yourself because that is how food becomes an obsession.

[Magenta]

It's already a bit of an obsession. And what's worse, even if I tried, we have fitness testing coming up in gym where we weigh ourselves.

I just can't understand why suddenly I want to lose weight. I've found benefits of it but no triggers.

[Fiction]

Even if it is already an obsession, not counting calories or weighing yourself regularly can help break the obsession.

[Magenta]

I can try. Though even if I don't count or weigh myself, I now can feel the difference food makes. I know it's not helping me reach any goal. And I'll still just not eat.

[Fiction]

I know what you mean by feeling the difference the food makes, that's the trouble I have aswell, but counting calories and weighing yourself is very counter productive towards getting better.