very confused

[vanhalenftw1539]

hey you've probably seen things like this before but whatever

so ive been emotionally attracted to girls my entire life. i used to like certain girls throughout elementary school, and i would always have thoughts of me kissing her and stuff. i used to have a crush on one of my female soccer coaches. i remember my friend had a picture of his cousin at his house when i was younger and i couldnt stop staring at her because she was so pretty. things like that. so thats the background info. ive never been attracted to guys that way.

however, a couple years ago when i started puberty, i began to have a sexual attraction to boys my age. only ones that look about my age, especially certain ones that i know personally. i always fantasize about jacking off with them or seeing them naked. i get turned on around certain guys in the locker room, especially the ones on the heavier side and with armpit hair. dont ask why. i dont want a relationship with them or anything, and like kissing them and serious stuff like gay sex seems weird. but thats the main thing i fantasize about.

ive never liked a boy. at least i dont think i have. i have liked many girls, although that has slowed down recently. also, girls my age think male celebrities like taylor lautner and people like that are hot. i cannot look at a male celebrity and think hes hot. im not attracted to older guys than me at all. just around my age or a few years younger.

the reason im concerned is that i dont like people that often. i like girls off and on but not enough for a girlfriend. i had one but it didnt last long. i dont want a relationship with a boy at all because i almost sure im not gay and that seems a little odd to me. its the sexual attraction to guys my age that worries me. most people say "its just a phase" but its lasted over 2 years.

i can get turned on by girls my age or older as well, just not as easily. also, if i want a relationship, its with a girl, and i can look at certain girls in my grade and think theyre gorgeous or adorable, certain ones so much that it takes my breath away. its a little harder though to meet the expectations to my friends, who think girls in our grade are "hot." also, if i look at porn, its naked girls not men, like hustler and playboy. gay porn is disgusting to me, straight porn cant even have an adult man in it or i get turned off.

is all this normal? will the sexual attraction pass? am i gay or bi or what? i dont think i am but please give feedback based on the info

emotional attraction: virtually 100% girls
sexual attraction: 65% guys my age, 35% girls in general

[Psychintraining]

Hmmm... knowing your age would be helpful. I can relate to what that's like. Sexuality is a very complicated issue that has roots in biology, age, hormones, sexual activity, home life, and life experience. For many people it is an area that is hard to talk about, and is often ignored despite how important it is. I have struggled with my sexuality for years now, wondering if I was asexual (a very short lived idea) to feeling straight, to gay, to bi, to straight and to bi again.

I am now more convinced I am straight, and the undercurrents of bisexuality come more from nurture rather than nature. These kinds of interpretations have come from constant thought, and stress. I even would call myself a sex addict at times. It can be a long road for some of us, and it doesn't sound like it will be easy for you to understand. On that note as well, it is hard for anyone here, without knowing you well whatsoever, or anyone who knows you well like a parent or friend to make those kinds of calls for you.

My advice is to explore and ponder. Think about what turns you on, what doesn't...why that might be, and continue from there, try to isolate emotional and sexual attractions... observe and continue to observe. Don't label yourself and try not to let it get to you (as hard as that may become). And if it gets too hard I highly recommend a counselor ... I'm in therapy now, and although it's hard at times, it's good to have someone to get a second opinion and organize my thoughts for.

Just be yourself, and explore yourself. That's what being a teenager is about, and also accepting who you are. The best of luck and I hope that helped.

I am 17 by the way.

[war-fougt-in-a-boy]

I i kno what your goin thourgh dude cuz im goin through it now

[smitty35]

I think im 99.9% sure that you are Str8 Curious. The definition of str8 curious is: You know that you will have a family some day with a girl, BUT in the meantime you would like to experiment with guys, just to see what its like.

[Dunce]

It sounds like you're bi-curious.

[vanhalenftw1539]

are bi curious and straight curious the same thing? i dont want relationships with guys and never have