georgiamay
January 5th, 2011, 11:50 AM
I'd been so proud of myself. I'd lost 5 pounds in 5 days. I got home from school today, took the dog out, and when I got back, I thought, "I know, I'll have a 93 calorie cookie, so I don't pass out at karate later on." I took one cookie out of the pack, ate it, and then I couldn't stop, and ate the whole fucking pack. I then went on to the fridge and ate half a cheese cake. I felt so disgusting and horrible. My stomach was huge, and I felt sick. It was disgusting, I had to get rid of it. So I threw up. I felt a lot... calmer afterwards, is that the right word? I think so. But I know your body starts to absorb calories straight away, especially if you've been living off 600-800 calories a day for the last week-ish. So I know I've taken in a good few hundred calories. I still feel pretty fat and my stomach still feels huge. But I don't feel guilty anymore. I'm calm now, I'm not on the verge of tears anymore.
I've only done it once before, at the cinema, but someone walked in before I could do it properly, I'd only purged a little bit.
So, I guess I'm posting just to ask, why the hell has this happened so quickly!?! I've had a wierd thing about food for a while now, but I only started eating 600-800 calories a day last week. The numbers on the scale go down, and I don't want them to fucking to up. They did 2 days ago, and I freaked out and went for a run and didn't eat a thing the next day until the evening meal. So why is it so sudden? :/
I've only done it once before, at the cinema, but someone walked in before I could do it properly, I'd only purged a little bit.
So, I guess I'm posting just to ask, why the hell has this happened so quickly!?! I've had a wierd thing about food for a while now, but I only started eating 600-800 calories a day last week. The numbers on the scale go down, and I don't want them to fucking to up. They did 2 days ago, and I freaked out and went for a run and didn't eat a thing the next day until the evening meal. So why is it so sudden? :/