Need Help :'(

[blackmusicbox215]

I recently found out that I'm gay, and I need some help.

1) I've had a girlfriend for a while, and I don't know how to tell her that I have to dump her just because I'm no longer interested in women.

2) I only told the one person I could trust. How could I tell other people and still be accepted.

3) My family isn't big on gays, I don't know how I could possible tell them.

Please is there anyway you can help me? I'm 14 and just started highschool.

[Commander Thor]

I would first like to say that you should really make sure that you are gay, before you go telling the world that you are. You're only 14, it could be your hormones playing tricks with your mind. I know between the ages of 13-17 I bounced back and forth between straight, curious, bi, & gay, several times. And even as recently as a few months ago, I still wasn't 100% sure I was homosexual.
But if you truely believe in your heart that you are homosexual, and you need to tell people, then go ahead and do it.
For your girlfriend, I'd start off by telling her you love her, but there's something important you need to get off your chest, and go from there.
As far as telling other people, tell them any way you like, there's no real way to tell people the 'right way'.

[Myrnodin]

Hey there Black. First i must say i agree with xbox when he says you have to be sure about it, ive read around in these forums a lot of people asking orientation in that way, you could try that too, now, if you are already sure:

- About your girlfriend... if she really loves you, and is mature enough, and you you have had an healty relationship, im quite sure she would understand; its not anyone's fault of issue, its just "something", and i believe that if you two talk about it, its will go quite smoothly.

- If you told someone you trust and who supports you, its not really a MUST having to tell anyone else. Im not telling you to hide it either, just let it flow naturally. I once read: "Those who mind, dont matter, and those who matter, dont mind." People who loves you will notice eventually, and if they love you truly, will accept it.

- Parents... (I hate parents you know...) Tell them when you feel ready to tell them; they love you, and live with you, but perhaps telling them suddenly is not a good idea, try yo hint it, see how they react, perhaps it will be easier than you think. (BE careful on this one tho)

[Dunce]

If you're 100% sure you're gay then:
The girlfriend needs to go asap, how would she feel if she found out you were gay and you were still with her? You dont have to tell her you're gay if you dont want to(if you've been together long you probably should though).
You don't have to tell everyone you know if you dont want to, just people you feel should know. They'll accept it eventually, they'll realise you are the person you always were, you havent changed.
Well.. what I'd do there is wait to tell your parents when you enter a relationship with a guy. But that's just what I'd do :/
I hope I helped

[nick]

1) I've had a girlfriend for a while, and I don't know how to tell her that I have to dump her just because I'm no longer interested in women.

You dont have to tell her that, I wouldnt recommend it. Just say it isnt really working, its no different to any other break up.

2) I only told the one person I could trust. How could I tell other people and still be accepted.

You cant change other peoples attitudes, if they choose to behave like shits then they will. At least you will get to find out who your real friends are.

3) My family isn't big on gays, I don't know how I could possible tell them.

Your family's attitude might change. If they love you then they will have to accept that it is just how you are, its right for you, and that for you to have any chance of happiness they will have to deal with it.

[Bath]

The thing is, you don't just "find out" you're gay and are "no longer interested" in women. That's what makes me think you might not be gay.. you don't find out, you 'accept' it, and you should not have been interested in women in the first place if you're gay (unless you pretend because of peer pressure.) Maybe you're bisexual. This is a confusing stage in your life, being 14, but don't give me shit about me saying you're young because I'm 15. and I realize all of this.

your girlfriend - just tell her. It's not fair to continue the relationship if you're not into it.

tell who you trust. If other people find out, and they don't like it, fuck them. It's your life, and unfortunately that also means dealing with hate. It's how you deal with it that matters.

tell your family when you're ready, don't feel rushed. You are who you are, and if they don't understand that, sucks for them, not you. Because you're living your life and if they don't like it then that's just moments they're wasting with hate instead of love.

[blackmusicbox215]

Thanks guys :)

I talked to my ex, didn't mention I was gay, and now she hates my guts. She said she was gonna break up with me anyway, but yet she hates me? loll whatever floats her boat.

I'll tell the few people I'm close to eventually. So far, as of today, two people know.

And I'll wait a while to tell my fam to make sure I'm really gay, I think it's easier to tell my friends it was a phase than my parents.

But I really appreciate all the help :)

[Dunce]

The thing is, you don't just "find out" you're gay and are "no longer interested" in women. That's what makes me think you might not be gay.. you don't find out, you 'accept' it, and you should not have been interested in women in the first place if you're gay (unless you pretend because of peer pressure.) Maybe you're bisexual. This is a confusing stage in your life, being 14, but don't give me shit about me saying you're young because I'm 15. and I realize all of this.

your girlfriend - just tell her. It's not fair to continue the relationship if you're not into it.

tell who you trust. If other people find out, and they don't like it, fuck them. It's your life, and unfortunately that also means dealing with hate. It's how you deal with it that matters.

tell your family when you're ready, don't feel rushed. You are who you are, and if they don't understand that, sucks for them, not you. Because you're living your life and if they don't like it then that's just moments they're wasting with hate instead of love.

Sexuality can change, so he might have liked girls in the past and recently realised he's attracted to boys more and stopped feeling things for women. He might not be gay because it could just be hormones. But if he's sure and he used to like women it can feel like he's 'finding out' he's gay.

[blackmusicbox215]

The thing is, you don't just "find out" you're gay and are "no longer interested" in women. That's what makes me think you might not be gay.. you don't find out, you 'accept' it, and you should not have been interested in women in the first place if you're gay (unless you pretend because of peer pressure.) Maybe you're bisexual. This is a confusing stage in your life, being 14, but don't give me shit about me saying you're young because I'm 15. and I realize all of this.

your girlfriend - just tell her. It's not fair to continue the relationship if you're not into it.

tell who you trust. If other people find out, and they don't like it, fuck them. It's your life, and unfortunately that also means dealing with hate. It's how you deal with it that matters.

tell your family when you're ready, don't feel rushed. You are who you are, and if they don't understand that, sucks for them, not you. Because you're living your life and if they don't like it then that's just moments they're wasting with hate instead of love.

My mom's best friend's sister was married with two kids, and found out she was a lesbian, when her youngest child was like 4 (only a few years ago), and she divorced her husband, and now they're just friends.

[tyler007]

Hey I think you hav gotten alot of good advice here... now here is mine.
Im 14 too and i have a girlfriend, but i have messed around alot with my best friend.
I consider myself st8 and not bi, right now,because i dont want to kiss todd, or make out with him we just hook up and jo give each other h/j sometimes trade a b/j... but i want to do these thinks with girls too, and i want to have sex with them.

I have alot more experience with guys, but im still tring with girld too... i dont want to lable myself until i know for sure and im away at college when there is more choices with both sexes...

Do not rush these things