Sleep is FUCKING EVIL

[ShatteredWings]

I don't want to go to bed at night. I start to kind of freak out just before knowing the bitch is going to send us up to 'sleep'.

Who knows what could happen while we're sleeping.
i dont want to

they could kill us
they could take everything.
they could hurt us more.

Everything could fucking go in a fucking heartbeat and i dont like that.

ive never been a fan of sleep.
most earlier teen years, insomnia was the norm. 3-5 hours. i want to go back to that.

crashing around 2 and sometimes later, up before 7.

it wasn't enough, i know.
but fuck it, less time to have things change w/o bein able to fix it.

-.-
night terrors are back too.

i dont konw what to do.

[Myrnodin]

I used to write terror tales some time ago, and i used to scare myself so much, that i know exactly how you feel. And i also know how hard it is for others to understand that fear. It only comes at nigth right? During the day you barely remember it. Sometimes your heart shrieks when you see the darkness outside, and you spend as long as you can looking for things to do instead of sleeping. Right?

I used to lock the door with a chair, get my cellphone under the pillow, that helped a lot. Dont think on the whys or whos, just do it. Also i tried not to see into the empty room. (Covered my head with the pillow). Andi have a friend who used to build a teddybear- fortress around her bed, that could work too. I tried to rationalize it, but fear works on a different level (now i know) si basically i suggest you take some "measures" to feel safe. See how that works. Try to do things that are not unconfotable for anyone one else, that way yo ucan keep them as long as you want. I really hope this helps. :)

[ShatteredWings]

Right after we moved, we built a playpen of stuffed animals.
but it's been 8 fucking years since then, isn't it time to be beyond that kind of kiddy stuff?

its usually not a 'whats lurking in the darkness' thing. it's a People Who We Live With Could Change Everything thing.

IDK.
it's fuckign stupid.
im too old for this shit.

[Sith Lord 13]

Right after we moved, we built a playpen of stuffed animals.
but it's been 8 fucking years since then, isn't it time to be beyond that kind of kiddy stuff?

its usually not a 'whats lurking in the darkness' thing. it's a People Who We Live With Could Change Everything thing.

IDK.
it's fuckign stupid.
im too old for this shit.

No, you're not. In your situation, fear is a sign of sanity. You just have to let yourself go insane sometimes I guess.

[Myrnodin]

Nah, its not kiddy stuff. Its order. To the chaos that gives you fear. Teddy bears are jsut a tool, ignore they are stuffed animals, its their role that matters.

[ShatteredWings]

No, you're not. In your situation, fear is a sign of sanity. You just have to let yourself go insane sometimes I guess.
Lookie who's talkin eh?
lol
i'm still bein a baby a bit tho.

Nah, its not kiddy stuff. Its order. To the chaos that gives you fear. Teddy bears are jsut a tool, ignore they are stuffed animals, its their role that matters.
eh, maybe.
Shame that when you're 16 a twin bed is starting to get small for you and a pile of stuffed critters. Might make a nest on the floor tho.

[Myrnodin]

Only on your bed? Build a fortress around the room! Even if it doesnt work ii will be fun. (Funny i sound like a child XD )

[ShatteredWings]

no, on the floor.
twin bed is really too small to do that on.

[Njathind]

Try not to worry about it, I'm almost 18 and I have recently started getting these feelings, I dunno whether its because things have been happening around here lately or what but dont beat yourself up about it mate. Its nothing to worry about :D

[Charleigh]

Aww. Im sorry.
I guess sometime's you have to let your mind run free and let all of the shit leave your mind, sometime's I guess you have to go wild sometime's ^^
I'm here if you ever need to talk to somebody.