Why do I still feel fat?

[Fiction]

The purpose of this thread is not for you to all tell me i'm not because I know i'm not.

I think there's a huge difference between what you know, and what you feel. I know i'm not fat but I honestly feel like it. At my height and weight (5"4, 96lb) I know it's really not fat but I can't get the feeling to go away that I am.

When I first started this I was 108lb. i never really thought I was fat, I just wanted to loose weight. To use something to block out other stuff, I think. I'm not really sure what my motivation for it all was. My aim was to get to 98lb. I thought that then I would be really skinny. Now I'm past that and i'm still not happy.

The real purpose of this thread is to ask how do I stop hating myself, because I want to be able to eat?

[Syvelocin]

It's not going to go away very easily. I'm sure you know that, but even when you start eating regularly again it'll still be there. It's the courage to fight that feeling, the voice that's telling you that you're fat. To eat despite it still being there. I refuse to look at myself in the mirror anymore because I just don't believe that I look like the girl whose weight this belongs to. I think I'm repulsive. Half of me says I'm fat and ugly, the other half says eat. If you listen to one of those halves more often, that one will start to grow. Until it's not 50% of you, but 70%. Or 90%. You get to choose whether it will be the anorexia mindset or a healthy mindset which will dominate your brain. And the longer you choose the anorexia mindset, the larger that side of you will be.

I hope you got something from the jungle of metaphors there... :P I get a bit carried away sometimes.

[Fiction]

I understood that perfectly :P Thanks Rith.

I tried to go with the healthy person mindset for a while. I was managing it, and then just all of a sudden the other one came back and it's come back stronger than before :/ It seems like I can't win.

[Syvelocin]

I know it seems like that, but you can always win. You can't truly fail. You can never, and never will.

[Fiction]

I suppose. I just really don't want to put on weight, but I want to be able to eat normally.

[Syvelocin]

Truthfully, your height and weight you could be eating around 1600 calories and not gain anything. That's relatively what your body burns everyday I'd imagine. It doesn't take 1200 calories less than what you could still have to maintain your weight, hun. I know it doesn't change much, just making sure you know that :)

[Fiction]

I don't want to just maintain my weight though, I want to loose weight :/
Thanks for your replies though Rith :)

[Nevermore]

I'm not sure if you weigh yourself often. But I weigh myself everyday, multiple times. However when I don't weigh myself, I feel better. My day doesn't change based on my numbers. I'd say try not weighing yourself for at least a week. Fight facts against feelings. You know you aren't fat. By you're weight your underweight. I know it's easier said then done. I don't know how you are with hair loss. I've had bad experiences in the past and current with losing hair when losing weight. That could be another motive for you to maintain or gain. Personally I'd much rather be fat then have a few bald spots on my head. DX
Try naming your favorite features about yourself. Do it daily. That's what my psychologist told me to do. Say things like: I am pretty, I'm not fat, I love my eyes, my hair is doing that kool swirly thing. XD Things like that. Soon you'll start hopefully believing it.
Or you could always go for the brainwashing method. For eight hours a day listen to a recording you're not fat, you're pretty, you need to eat. Do this for about 8 weeks and you should be brainwashed. I'm not sure if that would work, never tried it. Just popped into my head though.

[Fiction]

Thanks Sammy. I'll perhaps try not to weigh myself, it did work ok last time :)

[Syvelocin]

I don't want to just maintain my weight though, I want to loose weight :/
Thanks for your replies though Rith :)

Losing/maintaining/gaining weight is all maths.

There are 3,500 calories in a pound. Cut 500 calories a day from the calories it takes to maintain your weight, and you're loosing 1 pound a week but not eating 400 calories a day.

[Fiction]

I suppose. I'll perhaps give it a go.

[Ihaveleftforever]

I do not want to sound mean or anything but you have a diese Called anarexic I do not know techniqual term but this is where your VERY SKINNY TO SKINNY and you feel fat....see a doctor.. talk to someone about it

[Fairfax]

Anarexic is a disease in which your body is not able to get energy from your food...
Thats why you are thin enough and good diet is also unable to help you out..

[Fiction]

Please do not bump old threads :locked: