Had a brief sexual relationship with my uncle when I was younger.

[mike.virtualteen]

I was told by my parents that my uncle did something inappropriate to me, and I swear to god. Every detail of that day came back to me. But my uncle lives really far away and I want to be back in contact with him, is it the right idea? I'm 16 years old

[Tyler1]

I was told by my parents that my uncle did something inappropriate to me, and I swear to god. Every detail of that day came back to me. But my uncle lives really far away and I want to be back in contact with him, is it the right idea? I'm 16 years old

If you both want to sure.

[Ender]

id recommend against it.

[notsure101]

If he did something of that nature to you, I wouldnt contact him.

[cantwebefriends]

Why would you do that it could give him the wrong feeling that everythings okay

[Donkey]

If your uncle SEXUALLY ABUSED YOU, yes, an unconsented sexual relationship with a child is sexual abuse, why would you ever want to get involved with the paedophile again?

[SamB]

I personally wouldn't want to get back in contact with him but if you do just be really careful about it and try to make it clear that you (if you haven't) haven't forgiven him

[mike.virtualteen]

I mean I was 13 when it all happened...

[Donkey]

A grown man had a sexual relationship with a 13 year old, the fact you want to regain contact bewilders me.

[nick]

When you say you want to be back in contact with him I'm not sure whether you mean just normal birthday and christmas card type contact or if you are implying to want further sexual contact with him. Either way it sounds like a bad idea. Even though you were at an age where you should have understood what was happening what he did was abuse and it would be better to keep well away.

[SWMG]

Why would you if he did something like that a couple of years ago? I mean if he is now not interested in you and you feel safe and your parents agree with you maybe but make sure that the incident wont happen again

[ccrunner]

It depends I might talk to him until he does something inappropriate also don't see him just talk/txt

[Sean the Griffin]

I dont talk to my parents about sex stuff, too awkward, but if it was them who told me that some1 had done something to me I would feel OK about asking what they thought about me getting in contact with him again, anyways your parents would find out if you just went ahead and did it. So I would ask my parents. Tbh I wouldnt want to contact him tho.

[mike.virtualteen]

Well I mean I was 13 when this one thing happened, i agreed to what he wanted to do to me, I've moved on from it and I'm ready to start a brand new and mature relationship/friendship with my uncle. I mean after all of that happened, he told my stepdad and i believe he moved to Washington state.*

[MoveAlong]

This has little to do with puberty, and more so to do with family ties. I moved your thread from Puberty for Boys to Family and Friends.

Also, from the information you've provided for us, it sounds like is a sound thing to get back in contact as long as you feel that it's right. Even though this sounds twisted - I don't think you should shun your uncle for having a sexual relationship with you. Especially if you want to get back in contact with him - if you avoid doing it but you really wanted to, you might regret your decision. I mean, what you did was consensual, and you've moved on, so it seems okay to proceed.

Now, of course, if something you don't want to happen happens, then you should remove yourself from the situation, to safety. You can't assume that being related will guarantee things to be safe.

[Ender]

This has little to do with puberty, and more so to do with family ties. I moved your thread from Puberty for Boys to Family and Friends.

Also, from the information you've provided for us, it sounds like is a sound thing to get back in contact as long as you feel that it's right. Even though this sounds twisted - I don't think you should shun your uncle for having a sexual relationship with you. Especially if you want to get back in contact with him - if you avoid doing it but you really wanted to, you might regret your decision. I mean, what you did was consensual, and you've moved on, so it seems okay to proceed.

Now, of course, if something you don't want to happen happens, then you should remove yourself from the situation, to safety. You can't assume that being related will guarantee things to be safe.

I disagree, a sexual predator is a sexual predator. This man, an adult took advantage of a child..

[ShatteredWings]

Move family and friends to abuse

And I honestly think you should never get anywhere near him again

[MoveAlong]

I disagree, a sexual predator is a sexual predator. This man, an adult took advantage of a child..

That's a fair argument, but seeing as it was consensual and the poster feels confident (not shaken or disturbed) I think it's okay. But I place the responsibility of mike.virtualteen's safety on himself if he decides to pursue this situation.

Further precautions that could be taken are call him from a street phone, create an alternate email and use that to contact him, tell your parents about the situation, do not be alone with him, do not get into a sexual relationship again and if you do, DO NOT let any pictures be taken of you (unless you wanna get him busted), I mean there's a lot of things that could happen.

I'll site Donkey's post:

If your uncle SEXUALLY ABUSED YOU, yes, an unconsented sexual relationship with a child is sexual abuse, why would you ever want to get involved with the paedophile again?

Even though it may be consensual, it's still illegal. But it was consensual, which gives me the impression that it's not as scary as it sounds.

[ShaneK]

You are just askin to be re-victimized by seeking contact with ya uncle again

[Sebastian Michaelis]

o wow ive never had an experience like this but yeah i think you should talk to him (not meanly but well uhh idk) closure is good

[mike.virtualteen]

I mean it was not scary, it was exciting to me and him

[willrod]

I'm having trouble understanding- what specific reasons do you have for wanting to get back in contact with your uncle? In most instances, I'd just advise against it completely. You may be fine now, but what's not to say that seeing him again in the future won't trigger painful memories of what happened? No, best to probably stay away from him- and I hope someone's keeping a close eye on him so he stays away from other kids!

[BeN..]

Not a good idea.

[PJay]

Ok seems to me you want to explore your sexuality as much as anything else. I don't think this is the way to do it.


Your uncle is family. Screwing around with him is going to piss your family off, and maybe wind up with your uncle getting put in jail, written about in newspapers and whatever.
Your uncle has control issues around boys. Your uncle might panic and hurt you (or worse) if things go wrong.
If you want to fool around with a guy, find someone local you can have a relationship with. That way you get to have way more sex, if thats what you want, and no one gets hurt.


My advice is stay clear of your uncle, get yourself a boyfriend / f**k buddy or whatever.

[RAWWR]

My advice is that if you wanna see him, see him, I understand wanting to see him, I still feel the need to see my abuser, because there's part of me that is wondering exactly what happend and why it happend, I know you were happy with the situation, but i'm sure you still have some questions about it? These questions are probably whats pushing you to get back in contact, Just remember if you go to meet him or whatever, tell your parents everything, make sure you have your phone so you can contact someone if you need to, and just be generally safe, just in case he wishes to do something you are not comfortable with.

[Weeping]

Well, I wouldn't personally do it. And it's up to you! But if you really want to meet him, I suggest that you shouldn't meet him alone!

[Nevermore]

I'd suggest staying far away as possible, absolutely no contact. Opening contact back up could result into more abuse... However it's your life. If you must speak to him in person again, as Elvira suggest don't meet alone. Keep a large group of adults with you and stay in public areas. Do not go in his car, do not go with him if he's going somewhere, if he offers you something I woulnd't suggest taking it. I hope this helps some.

[Mrs.KermitTheFrogx]

i wouldnt
this guy SEXUALLY ABUSED YOU
when you were 13 !!
now your 16 whats he going to think he can do do you now ?!!!

[Ambrosia]

You were thirteen and even though you agreed to let him do what he wanted it still counts as sexual abuse. You didn't have the maturity level to know any better and getting in contact with him is a bad idea...

[Philleeep]

Im going to make a bold statement and im not bothered how anyone else reacts.

What your feeling is a side effect of what has happened to you. The same thing happened to Maya Angelou and for years after wards she wanted the love and the contact of what happened to her this may seem wrong but to feel this way is ok.

I would advise not sexually keeping in contact with him as he may see this as an opportunity and you don't know if he has done this to anyone else.

[mike.virtualteen]

It all started out when I was about nine years old, my parents dropped me off at my uncle Dave's house for the weekend. My uncle Dave has always been single and he's 30 years old he's always been super nice to me my entire life, when I arrived he was very excited that I would be spending the weekend with him. When my parents left, it was already night time and I asked my uncle if he could run me a bath, and I remember him saying something like "I haven't taken a bath all day, do you mind if I get in with you" and I said it's fine and he was in the tub and I came in naked covering my privates because I was embarrassed and he told me "don't worry, I have boy parts too" and he removed my hand from my privates and I got in the tub and we bathed together, he made me feel very comfortable around him. He was getting me ready for a place to sleep and he said he would share a bed with me. I remember he was in underwear and he put me on his lap, started tickling me and then I started tickling him. I remember the next day I was sad to leave my uncle because my parents were picking me up. The next time I saw him I was 14, there was a big family get together in las vegas for a two days and I actually found out I was going to be sharing a room with him. That night when we shared a bed, stuff happened too.

[Syvelocin]

Even though it was consensual, you have to know that this is not okay for him to be doing that. You might want to see him again and get back in that relationship, but it isn't legal and is not safe.

I have nothing against making friends with him. I did the same with my aunt who used to physically abuse me, after a while she has won my trust back. But contacting him again to hook up is not a good idea at all.

[Stay]

Hello Mike,

This is up to you. If my uncle did something like that to me, yes, I would be upset and angry, but he's family and I can't stay mad at family. That's just me though, everyone is different and has different feelings. You were young and probably defenseless at the time. If it's that he might try something again on you, bring your family along with you, or maybe some friends that you trust. I wouldn't recommend going alone to see him, if you do.

Hope this helps,
~Stay

[ImCoolBeans]

this is just me, but i would also recommend against it

[Fusion]

I would advise against seeing your uncle again. Or not until you become an adult.

[Charleigh]

If you are going to see him, dont see him alone.
PM me if you ever need to talk.
Good lucck!
:hug:

[smitty35]

I think you should stay away from him...

[Nathan109]

I would say yes, but have parents near. If he were to attempt anything leave immediately. Even report him to the police, this is a criminal offence, but this is only if you want to.

[smalltowngirl9189]

^^^^^^^ I agree ^^^^^^^

[kiki776]

STAY AWAY!! my cousin tried to do something i can never forget and i still see him but im NEVER gonna be alone with him EVER AGAIN! so i advise you to do the same

[aaron4455]

YES i think u should if it gets uncomfy then dont talk or see him anymore pple can change i bet he feels real bad for what he did

[austin callahan]

is that illegal? just wonderin..

[jensonfox]

Okay, so my uncle whom is 6 years older than me did things to me for a number of years, some things i liked, other things i didn't like, this all started when i was around 3-5 and ended when i was about 11. To me, my uncle is like an older brother to me, we still hang out, and everything, he did get in trouble with my parents when they found out, but whatever. i think my situation is different because my uncle isn't as old as your uncle, even though i have a strong friendship with my uncle, your uncle did worse because he wasn't an ignorant kid like my uncle was.... but even than, should i be hanging out with my uncle?

[restricted NA]

Don't try to reach out to someone who hurt you, even a family member. Perhaps talk to you parents on this issue if you do want to see him. If you do talk to him through letters but not actually meeting him in flesh and blood. sorry to hear what happened, but you should know that your really brave for wanting to see him again.

[Severus Snape]

I don't see the problem here. If you don't feel violated then there is really nothing else to discuss. If you feel comfortable and ok with what happened why not get back in touch with him?

[Houtz96]

Uh.... NO. Anything done to you sexually while you were underage(and if you had no consent to it), thats a big no no.

[canyon]

I was told by my parents that my uncle did something inappropriate to me, and I swear to god. Every detail of that day came back to me. But my uncle lives really far away and I want to be back in contact with him, is it the right idea? I'm 16 years old

I get what you're saying about how you want to be in contact with him, but I'd recommend not. If your parents stopped contacting him, I think it would be wrong of you to try. He abused you as a young child, and I think that that should be reason enough to stay away from him.
However, you can do what you want, nobody should try and stop you. Just if you decide to, be careful.

[Limelight788]

It seems like people are not reading the thread properly. Mike clearly explained that he did not experience any form of abuse from his uncle. Had that been the case, I would have agreed that he should stay away from him.

@Mike: Given the circumstance you laid out and what you said regarding this, if you're going to be in contact with him, try to start with just talking on the phone and then try visiting him with permission from parents if you want to see him that bad. Like others, however, I would advise if your uncle tried to do anything harmful to you, you should call authority on him and you should definitely NOT engage in any form of sexual relationships whatsoever since your uncle is part of your family and if you're really that worried about potential abuse (Which I don't think you are, but just to make sure you remain safe), try to bring a relative or a parent with you.

[cheergurl]

He sounds creepy :( I wouldn't

[Continuum]

You shouldn't. It would mean a bit of trouble with him. Besides, he probably feels bad enough that he is a sex offender to his own kin.

[Four_Winds]

I understand all of it was consensual and what not... Obviously the choice is up to you, and it's probably not my place to say...

But if your parents were to know your feelings about your wanting to reconnect, how would they feel? I mean, something like that could really damage relationships... wouldn't it? Be careful on your decision, is all I can say, really.

Your uncle shouldn't be doing stuff like that at all, imo. :/ Especially at your age, and stuff. Consensual or not.

But that's just my opinion, so I'm not trying to sound bad, or anything.

[juanito114]

i woudnt do it but its up to you if you want to talk to him make sure you do it with your parents there supervising and if anything hapens again report it EMIDIETLY

[TeenageDream]

Well I mean I was 13 when this one thing happened, i agreed to what he wanted to do to me, I've moved on from it and I'm ready to start a brand new and mature relationship/friendship with my uncle. I mean after all of that happened, he told my stepdad and i believe he moved to Washington state.*

I can kind of understand that. Just be careful.