ShutUpCasey
January 3rd, 2011, 09:15 PM
Well.. actually... I'm not even sure what it is. But it happens almost every day. It's just this innate feeling of enclosure and pressure that just seems to take over. I get this tight feeling in my chest, and it makes me want to scream and just run until my feet can't touch the ground. If I feel it, It's almost like I get the compulsion to leave the room. So when it happened; i was in the shower. It often happens there. Don't ask why. But, about 5 minutes in, I just felt like I couldn't breathe. It felt like i was being constricted with fear for absolutely no reason. The thought of me being pannicky for no reason I guess made it somewhat worse. I just started like...gasping for air and crying. ._____. I usually call for my mom or one of my friends when it happens, because it distrats me and brings the anxiety down. So i called for my mom. no answer. I called her name, over and over, and I was just feeling farther and farther away. Almost like I was drifting. It was scary as hell. I also tend to dig into my arms when it happens, mind you. So it's to the extent where my arm's bleeding from me digging into it and i've been [to my suprise, screaming] long enough that I almost lost my voice. My mom finds it totally ridiculous what I'm "going through", even though she went through the same thing. It just wasn't as severe. She refuses to take me to a doctor because she doesn't want me on meds. I just want to know whats wrong with me. Is that so bad, Mom? so that maybe I can make my anxiety go away, seeing that I don't know why the fuck I have it? Yeah. It might just help. Thanks.