Ali_Cat
January 3rd, 2011, 01:35 PM
Asside crom cutting to get away from the pain, or cutting as a way to relieve stress, or anything of that sort.
Does anyone see cutting, or any type of SI a form of body art?
I was a cutter for the longest time. It started when I was only in 5th grade, and in the begenning, yes, I cut to take away the pain. All through and up to 6th grade things stayed the same, but as my life got better and I was actually happy most of the time ( I have PTSD) I found myself still cutting, but then, it was only for the heck of it. I enjoyed it.
The middle of my 6th grade year my best friend saw one of my cuts one day, and there went the secret. The next year or so I was in therapy, got monitored at school, etc.
I kept my cuts pretty well hidden after that. And would cut on and off up to my freshman year of highschool, and then, I just stopped. It was only the begenning of last year that I started up again. A girl apparently saw the cuts in the locker room and on went another 6mos of therapy. And let me tell you, this therapist BLEW MY FLIPPING MIND! She asked me the same questions OVER and OVER and constantly was telling me that people only self harmed to take the pain away from something. I kept telling her that I was perfectly happy, that I only cut because I saw it as a form of body art. I like the way it felt, the way it looked, and I liked the way the scars looked. Almost like how someone who has alot of tattoos or piercings. But for some reason, she just coulden`t grasp the concept. One day she wracked my nerves so badly I wound up screaming a few choice words at her and stormed out of her office. Never saw her again.
I haven` cut in a while. It wasen`t long after that that I stopped. My fiance was actually the last one to cut me. (Yes, he cut me) Its something I find very erotic. Only, he cut alot deeper then he wanted to, which was okay with me, but it scared him. He had alot of mixed emotions about it, and eventually, told me he didn`t want to see any more cuts on me. He understands my point of view about it, as far as for me seeing it as body art. But because its a very touchy subject to society, he didn`t want me doing it.
I haven`t cut since. There are still times that I think about it. Especially when my fiance and I lay together, and he runs his fingers over my scars. But as long as he dosen`t want me to, I won`t.
Just wondering if there is anyone else who sees self harming the way I do.
Does anyone see cutting, or any type of SI a form of body art?
I was a cutter for the longest time. It started when I was only in 5th grade, and in the begenning, yes, I cut to take away the pain. All through and up to 6th grade things stayed the same, but as my life got better and I was actually happy most of the time ( I have PTSD) I found myself still cutting, but then, it was only for the heck of it. I enjoyed it.
The middle of my 6th grade year my best friend saw one of my cuts one day, and there went the secret. The next year or so I was in therapy, got monitored at school, etc.
I kept my cuts pretty well hidden after that. And would cut on and off up to my freshman year of highschool, and then, I just stopped. It was only the begenning of last year that I started up again. A girl apparently saw the cuts in the locker room and on went another 6mos of therapy. And let me tell you, this therapist BLEW MY FLIPPING MIND! She asked me the same questions OVER and OVER and constantly was telling me that people only self harmed to take the pain away from something. I kept telling her that I was perfectly happy, that I only cut because I saw it as a form of body art. I like the way it felt, the way it looked, and I liked the way the scars looked. Almost like how someone who has alot of tattoos or piercings. But for some reason, she just coulden`t grasp the concept. One day she wracked my nerves so badly I wound up screaming a few choice words at her and stormed out of her office. Never saw her again.
I haven` cut in a while. It wasen`t long after that that I stopped. My fiance was actually the last one to cut me. (Yes, he cut me) Its something I find very erotic. Only, he cut alot deeper then he wanted to, which was okay with me, but it scared him. He had alot of mixed emotions about it, and eventually, told me he didn`t want to see any more cuts on me. He understands my point of view about it, as far as for me seeing it as body art. But because its a very touchy subject to society, he didn`t want me doing it.
I haven`t cut since. There are still times that I think about it. Especially when my fiance and I lay together, and he runs his fingers over my scars. But as long as he dosen`t want me to, I won`t.
Just wondering if there is anyone else who sees self harming the way I do.