Sorry... I'm posting a lot here...

[Magenta]

Bit of a rant.

Tomorrow I'm back at school. I hate my school and would rather be homeschooled. I get to spend my day listening to people exchange vacation stories while lying, saying I did nothing when I was really in a psych ward for part of the break. I have no friends there and I'm doing worse and worse in all my classes. Gym is a nightmare and a few people found out I cut. I have new scars on my hands I can't hide. I feel like a worthless moron who can't do anything right. Even my own dad has no issue watching me suffer.

I just want to cut. It wouldn't matter since I have three or four times today... Not liking I'm messing up any days without cutting.

[Bath]

During spring break last year I was in the self-harm hospital for 4 days. If you don't feel like telling them, don't tell them. It's none of their business.

Babe, I have straight Fs right now that I'm trying to bring up before the quarter ends. Your grades can't be that bad.

Don't worry about the scars on your hands. Like I said, none of their business. Don't let it ruin your life. So what they know. Unless they talk to you about it it's really not an issue.

You are not worthless. ♥

I'd be a hypocrite telling you not to cut because I still do. It's just that we need help and support.

[whereismymind]

You sound a lot like me I've pretty much got no friends at school and I tend to get insulted a lot. Your grades will get better in time just keep trying your hardest at school and they'll improve. Your not worthless and your not a moron, and dad's are useless but try talking to him he'l at least listen. And if anyone asks about the scars on your hand its none of their business and if anyone says anything ignore them. If you ever need to talk feel free to message me.

[Fiction]

Well, is there any way that that can happen? Is there any way that you can be home schooled?
As Bethany said, no one needs to know about your psych ward stay if you don't want them too, it's your business, not theirs.
You know cutting won't help. It will only give you more scars to hide.
I'm here if you ever want to talk :)

[Magenta]

I know I don't have to tell them but it's the guilt and embarrassment I feel because I was there. I just feel terrible. I already feel like such a freak at school. Not to mention today just started off badly and now I look terrible too.

I doubt I could be home-schooled but I might ask. And get yelled at... But I might ask. I hate my school so much and the only other one in my area is too far away for me to go to.

[Fiction]

You should try asking, if you succeed you'll feel better right?
School doesn't last forever, so however bad it feels there will always be change :)

[Fushigi]

hey you know our life is so precious so dont waste it ........
just live ur life to the fullest and enjoy being alive
u may not have friends in the real world...
we are here to support and cheer you up
whenever ur upset or feeling down

heres a song look at the lyrics..
When your down and troubled
And you need a helping hand
And nothing, whoa nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest nights.
You just call out my name,
And you know whereever I am
I'll come running, oh yeah baby
To see you again.
Winter, spring , summer, or fall,
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You've got a freind.
If the sky above you
Should turn dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind should begin to blow
Keep your head together and call my name out loud
And soon I will be knocking upon your door.
You just call out my name and you know where ever I am
I'll come running to see you again.
Winter, Spring, summer or fall
All you got to do is call
And I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend?
People can be so cold.
They'll hurt you and desert you.
Well they'll take your soul if you let them.
Oh yeah, but don't you let them.
You just call out my name and you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again.
Oh babe, don't you know that,
Winter Spring summer or fall,
Hey now, all you've got to do is call.
Lord, I'll be there, yes I will.
You've got a friend.
You've got a friend.
Ain't it good to know you've got a friend.
Ain't it good to know you've got a friend.
You've got a friend.

i may not know u personally or even u not now me personally you've got a friend in me :) cheer up!!! :)

[XxHaViiK]

It's been months since I've done any self harm, but if people ask what my scars are from I tell them my cat or a bike wreck. Just make something up, or don't tell them at all. It's not really any of their business.

[Mike321]

There's no harm in asking them if you could be home schooled, and if they say no, just remember school is only a short part of your life. I know its not easy, I went through most of my school life with no friends and spent most of my time on my own.
If people do ask about your cuts, like Liam said, is none of their business, the cuts on your hand you could make up a reason why they are there, its easy to catch your hand on something and cut it.
Hope this helps anyway

[Weeping]

You should give it a try asking about home-schooling.
Do you live with both of your parents?

[Magenta]

I only live with my dad and things are pretty rough at home anyway so it could just be a bad idea.

And Dan, thank you.

Edit: Just noticed that some acne I scratched while stressed scarred. I'm really upset because it's on either side of my chin. I've always been easily upset when I scratch by accident because I worry about scarring. I was lucky until now. Self-esteem keeps dropping.

[Fushigi]

I only live with my dad and things are pretty rough at home anyway so it could just be a bad idea.

And Dan, thank you.

Edit: Just noticed that some acne I scratched while stressed scarred. I'm really upset because it's on either side of my chin. I've always been easily upset when I scratch by accident because I worry about scarring. I was lucky until now. Self-esteem keeps dropping.



your always welcome... just feel free to pm me if u have some problems :)