Again, of course again...

[Bath]

Right as my scars are finally fading, I just HAD to cut again. But this time, it was different. Usually, it would be because of the things that were happening around me. This time, it was because I hate myself. Every cut.. "deeper, you pussy, deeper." I felt better when I saw the blood and felt that familiar sting.

But I don't know what to do anymore.
this is all going in circles.
im going to be this way forever. fucking up, getting better, fucking up.

[emt.Cam]

In all honesty, I can't relate to this in any way, shape, or form; however, this isn't a lifestyle for such a beautiful girl, nor anyone. You chose to do this and we all know you can beat this. We are here to support you and to assist in you breaking this difficult habit.

Why is it that you "hate" yourself? I've seen you around here and you appear to be such a great girl. I would've never guessed this. So what is it that you hate about yourself. It's hard to beat because after you cut, the endorphins are released which is giving you that sense of pleasure and control until your brain feels the urge for that feeling again.

Relapsing back to this is very difficult -I'm sure- but I'll stand by your side if you want to do it for yourself and be a support. If you want to make this change for the better, then you need to make that first step and I'll be right behind you. Finding another activity may help: music has always been my lifeline. A trick may be something like exercising or writing. Feel free to PM me hun, if you'd just like to talk or something.

[Bath]

Why is it that you "hate" yourself? I've seen you around here and you appear to be such a great girl. I would've never guessed this. So what is it that you hate about yourself.


I do things...lie about it...lie about not lying about it even...and then wonder why bad things come out of it. I'm a very unethical and selfish little girl. I only think of myself. I'm failing school so far, and all my friends are fake and are never here for me. I keep screwing up at everything. I've cheated a lot. I'm just a self-absorbed, naive, rude person. worse thing is, I try and change that but Im so vulnerable and weak, I fall back into the things I promised myself I was done with.

[emt.Cam]

I do things...lie about it...lie about not lying about it even...and then wonder why bad things come out of it. I'm a very unethical and selfish little girl. I only think of myself. I'm failing school so far, and all my friends are fake and are never here for me. I keep screwing up at everything. I've cheated a lot. I'm just a self-absorbed, naive, rude person. worse thing is, I try and change that but Im so vulnerable and weak, I fall back into the things I promised myself I was done with.
Everybody is selfish to some extent: no body in this world is perfect. It's not that you vulnerable and weak, it's that you need a better support system. You've claimed that your friends are fake and don't support you; doesn't sound like a friend.

Think of it this way: imagine how strong you will be when you overcome all of these obstacles that life is throwing at you. These will make you stronger and more impenetrable. It's time that you're caught and kept from falling.

[Fiction]

I can totally relate to your post. I cut for this reason a lot of the time. Cutting will not make you feel any better about yourself though, it will make you feel worse.

Is there anyway that you can get help? If you could get into councelling it may be able to change the way you think about yourself and therefore stop you from cutting.
Good luck.