Miscarriage?

[StrawberryCyanide]

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, so i apologise.

I had a miscarriage 7 months ago. It was my second miscarriage, i had another one when i was 15. I really, really don't know how to feel... whenever i think about it, it just devastates me. I'm so so depressed about it :( I'm such a maternal person and although it wasn't a planned pregnancy i want my baby back... i just don't know how to cope! I feel completely broken, i'm terrified that perhaps i can't have children. I really can't explain how distraught i would be if that was the case.

To make matters worse, me and my boyfriend at the time have very recently broken up after what i thought was the best year of my life. I really thought he was my soul mate and i still do. I wrote a letter after the miscarriage "to the baby" and poured my heart out. I wrote things like "we're just not quite ready for you yet" and "me and your daddy will meet you one day, i can't wait". I almost feel like i've cheated what would have been my baby by writing it and having broken up with my ex!! We were engaged and everything. I'm just at such a loss and i can't talk to anyone about it, i need him i need to talk to him but i can't face it. Fuck i really just don't know how to feel about all of this.

Sorry for the rant, i had to let it out =/

[SilenceForSilence]

I know I'm a little too young to give a useful answer, but that is awful. I'm very sorry about your loss. I had a friend that had a miscarriage and she didn't even know she was pregnant so it took her by surprise. She was very upset too. It seems like the letter you wrote was a very good way to cope for you so maybe you could keep doing that. I'm sure the breakup doesn't help at all, and I'm sure you feel like you lost him through himself and the baby. Hold on to the hope you will meet your child again. The greatest act a human can do for the deceaced is remember them forever. This is clearly still upsetting you at full intensity and will for a while, but don't worry about it. It's ok to be upset and remember. Don't bury anything down. You seem to be very smart and loving, with a sense of loyalty. Think about how great that is, and use those traits as tools for yourself and others. That may be another way to cope. If you'd like to talk you can message me. Again, i'm sorry If my advice is not useful.

[StrawberryCyanide]

I know I'm a little too young to give a useful answer, but that is awful. I'm very sorry about your loss. I had a friend that had a miscarriage and she didn't even know she was pregnant so it took her by surprise. She was very upset too. It seems like the letter you wrote was a very good way to cope for you so maybe you could keep doing that. I'm sure the breakup doesn't help at all, and I'm sure you feel like you lost him through himself and the baby. Hold on to the hope you will meet your child again. The greatest act a human can do for the deceaced is remember them forever. This is clearly still upsetting you at full intensity and will for a while, but don't worry about it. It's ok to be upset and remember. Don't bury anything down. You seem to be very smart and loving, with a sense of loyalty. Think about how great that is, and use those traits as tools for yourself and others. That may be another way to cope. If you'd like to talk you can message me. Again, i'm sorry If my advice is not useful.

Thankyou, and your advice is very useful :) i didn't take a pregnancy test but i had been having morning sickness for weeks and my body felt different, i just knew. I didn't take a test because i was worried the pregnancy would fail and i didn't want to get my hopes up. Then when it happened i just completely lost it =/ Thanks for your advice, i'll try writing another letter and see if it helps! thanks again x

[closed]

That's good that you've let it out. It helps. Anyway, i can't help you too much, since i never was in that situation.
I think that your a hero. It takes and incredible strenght to stand such things. I wish I knew you in reality. Your coping skills are great - Writing. This is really good. Combine this with time, and it will go away. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here :)

[StrawberryCyanide]

That's good that you've let it out. It helps. Anyway, i can't help you too much, since i never was in that situation.
I think that your a hero. It takes and incredible strenght to stand such things. I wish I knew you in reality. Your coping skills are great - Writing. This is really good. Combine this with time, and it will go away. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here :)

Thankyou, that's very sweet :) writing is what i'm trying to use as a coping method, i've managed not to self harm in 2 months but with all this shit going through my head it's getting really tough.. i'll stop now i'm practically hijacking my own thread xD thankyou though :)

[SilenceForSilence]

I'm glad you seem really confident. If you can keep away from self harm and writing keeps working, you'll be a lot better off. You seem like a really strong person and I have no doubt you'll be able to get through all of this. If I were you I'd be very proud. Be safe. Feel better! :)

[StrawberryCyanide]

I'm glad you seem really confident. If you can keep away from self harm and writing keeps working, you'll be a lot better off. You seem like a really strong person and I have no doubt you'll be able to get through all of this. If I were you I'd be very proud. Be safe. Feel better! :)

Thankyou :) yes I am trying to keep away from it but it's so tough right now =/ i'll keep writing though, thanks x

[SilenceForSilence]

I understand. The best thing to do is not beat yourself up about it. keep up the good work. :)