2 days till 4 months of no self harm....my courage is starting to slip

[lenny774]

My fam has been fighting, i have stitches and pins in my mouth from jaw surgery, 8th grade sucks, and im having to hide being bisexual from evereyone at my school besides my besties. its kinda hard when the hottest guy ever sits right in front of you in school and has the greatest abs ever! gah this is so screwed up. please, someone older give me words of advice. idc if your only a year older than me (16) but gah im so freaked out and gahhhhhhhhhhhh please.

[Fiction]

Well i'm not older than you, i'm only 15, but I can try to help.

Families fight a lot, it's part of being a family. When my family fight, I just go up to my room so as not to get involved in it. Maybe you could try that?

I know what it's like to have surgery, I had surgery when U was 7 years old. it isn't nice, but the pain doesn't last forever and usually it's for the better. Just keep taking painkillers and the pain will go away eventually.

School can be very stressful, the best thing to do is just to try and keep on top of homework etc. This avoids you getting behind and having the extra stress of that.

There is nothing wrong with being bi, or anything like that. Maybe at some point you should try coming out to people. It sounds as though you have your friends behind you, and that they'll be there for you whatever the reaction of the other people.

Cutting will not help, i'm sure you know that. it'll only make it worse in the end. You won't just be hiding your sexuality, you'll be hiding your cuts too. That'll just add to the stress and make you feel worse.
Keep going and Good luck :)

[Mike321]

What Kathy said is really good, nearly all families argue, but try not to get involved if you can, go into another room, or go out the house for a walk, thatd what I do.
The pain from surgery is only going to be temerpory, and you will more than liklley be better off for it in the future, just bear it for now as it wont be forever.

I know school can be very stressful, but its just something everyone has to go through, and 8th grade wont last forever, just do you best at your subjects and try and keep up to date with everything.
You dont need to be ashamed of being bisexual, theres nothing wrong with it, and only come out to people if you feel comfortable with it, chances are people close to you will accept it.

As you probably know cutting doesnt make anything better, even if it seems like it will at the time, you've almost made it 4 months which is fantastic, a really good achievement which you should be proud of. Keep on going and dont give in, your doing really well.
Hope this helps

[lenny774]

my final two rants are, i have Hydrocephalus, and spina bifida. i lost a sibling when i was 2 to cancer and even though i dont know him it still haunts me that it could happen to another family member.

[Fiction]

Cancer is something that affects many families, and it is a horrible illness but it's life. Unfortunatly these things happen.
As for your illnesses, you just have to make the best out of living with them. I have a heard problem and although probably not as interfering as your illnesses, I know what it's like to wish you could be normal in that respects.
You are not alone :)

[XxHaViiK]

Okay, find something that can distract you when family fights happen. If they happen a lot, and are usually loud and crazy, you need to block it out.

As a kid, I grew up with a constantly fighting family. Even in this new "family" they still fight at least once a week. But as a child, it was a daily basis. When my mom pissed my dad off, he'd get drunk and beat the shit out of me to get to her. That resulted in my PTSD. (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) Now, when people even raise their voices in the house it makes me flip shit, which is called a trigger. I get extremely nervous and shaky, even though there's nothing to be afraid of.

So if there IS an argument in my house, or fight, I just go listen to really loud music, play video games (I have a gaming headset that blocks out the sound outside of it), or just go sit outsite.