Only Sex

[Fred]

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 years, and have been sexually active since we were 13, with me fingering her and eventually giving her oral sex. We both really enjoyed it and I fingered her any chance I got. Just a few months ago, despite now only getting to see each other once a month or so, we began having sex. At first it was awkward, then it was fun, but now it's all she cares about. We've only been able to do it a few times so far but she's already admitted to being obsessed with it, and not wanting any of the foreplay we used to love, and she almost seems to be wanting it more than me.
I'm starting to regret starting to have intercourse with her. I guess my question is, why would her love for sex stop her wanting the other kinds of foreplay we used to love doing together? And can I convince her to concentrate a little less on our sex and a little more on the rest of our physical relationship?

Any help would be great :)

[Paladino]

Just try and explain to her that sex isnt all you want and it isnt all you two should be concerned about.

[girl555]

im a girl and i know if i dont get my orgasm for a while its all i want. but it seems that she might just be using u for sex if thats all u ever do when u see her. if she starts engaging in sex with just say to her can we do some of that forplay we used to do or can we just talk for a while? because if u want more than just sex u need to have a serious chat with her.

[Fact]

Puberty :arrow2: Relationships

As for your problem, you just need to discuss this with her. You've been together long enough to be mature about it and not just have an argument.

Ask her what she's thinking and feeling and maybe you'll get the answers you're looking for.

[HAWAiiAN 808]

myself and my close friend have both dealt with this same problem before. the main thing in this whole story you have to notice is "despite now only getting to see each other once a month or so" part. I went out with a girl before in which we dated for almost 13 months. But after the 7th or 8th month, she moved away from me so i would only get to see her almost once every month. We used to engage in foreplay a lot before she moved, but after she moved, she completely forgot about foreplay and was just into having sex everytime i seen her. at first, i thought i was in heaven, but after a while, i wanted to get on a more intimate level with her, instead of a strictly sex level. after a while, i finally met up with her one day at her house, and started talking to her on why we couldnt just go somewhere and have fun instead of engaging in sexual activities everytime i seen her. and her main answer was because when we used to see each other almost every day, she always got used to me being by her side whenever she wanted me. but when she moved, she never had that security/comfort of me being with her so she thought i was either going to forget about her, or hook up with another girl. she then said that she thought if she kept on wanting to have sex with me, i wouldnt get bored with her and i would stay with her even though we only seen each other once a month.

next time you see your girlfriend, just sit down with her and ask her why she is craving sex most of the time. it might be because she is going through puberty, but it might also be something deeper than that. ask her if she is comfortable with you and her only being able to see each other once a month and see what she says.

[affablyeaseful]

Yes, this is absolutely something that you need to communicate with her about. Both of you have needs, and if you feel as if yours aren't being fulfilled and it's just one sided then you need to tell her that. You should both find a time and a place where you're comfortable and bring it up.

Maybe you can tell her that you want to be more intimate with her by bringing back more of the things that you used to do together. If she doesn't want this or refuses, remember you don't have to keep having sex with her, especially if you regret it. Whether or not you want to have sex is your choice to make, and even if you've had it in the past, you can choose not to for any reason. Hopefully though, she sees where you're coming from and will be willing to compromise. Good luck!

[Daniel_]

Theres not much you can do but talk to her about it. She should understand, however if she doesn't she might not be the girl for you, considering that she wants sex, but you want more than sex. Either way, you should do it privately, wait for a time when you wont run the risk of someone walking in on you. That could be awkward.

Good luck, man.

[lipstick_kisses23]

myself and my close friend have both dealt with this same problem before. the main thing in this whole story you have to notice is "despite now only getting to see each other once a month or so" part. I went out with a girl before in which we dated for almost 13 months. But after the 7th or 8th month, she moved away from me so i would only get to see her almost once every month. We used to engage in foreplay a lot before she moved, but after she moved, she completely forgot about foreplay and was just into having sex everytime i seen her. at first, i thought i was in heaven, but after a while, i wanted to get on a more intimate level with her, instead of a strictly sex level. after a while, i finally met up with her one day at her house, and started talking to her on why we couldnt just go somewhere and have fun instead of engaging in sexual activities everytime i seen her. and her main answer was because when we used to see each other almost every day, she always got used to me being by her side whenever she wanted me. but when she moved, she never had that security/comfort of me being with her so she thought i was either going to forget about her, or hook up with another girl. she then said that she thought if she kept on wanting to have sex with me, i wouldnt get bored with her and i would stay with her even though we only seen each other once a month.

next time you see your girlfriend, just sit down with her and ask her why she is craving sex most of the time. it might be because she is going through puberty, but it might also be something deeper than that. ask her if she is comfortable with you and her only being able to see each other once a month and see what she says.

he's right, I went through the same thing. and because she might be going through puberty her libido has spiked sky high. But the best thing right now is conversation

[StrawberryCyanide]

Just talk to her and let her know how you feel! If you're the first person she's had sex with it might be just a phase of loving something new and enjoying experimentation. I'm sure she doesn't love it more than she loves you, and give it time and i'm sure you'll get back all the things you miss :)

[Fred]

myself and my close friend have both dealt with this same problem before. the main thing in this whole story you have to notice is "despite now only getting to see each other once a month or so" part. I went out with a girl before in which we dated for almost 13 months. But after the 7th or 8th month, she moved away from me so i would only get to see her almost once every month. We used to engage in foreplay a lot before she moved, but after she moved, she completely forgot about foreplay and was just into having sex everytime i seen her. at first, i thought i was in heaven, but after a while, i wanted to get on a more intimate level with her, instead of a strictly sex level. after a while, i finally met up with her one day at her house, and started talking to her on why we couldnt just go somewhere and have fun instead of engaging in sexual activities everytime i seen her. and her main answer was because when we used to see each other almost every day, she always got used to me being by her side whenever she wanted me. but when she moved, she never had that security/comfort of me being with her so she thought i was either going to forget about her, or hook up with another girl. she then said that she thought if she kept on wanting to have sex with me, i wouldnt get bored with her and i would stay with her even though we only seen each other once a month.

next time you see your girlfriend, just sit down with her and ask her why she is craving sex most of the time. it might be because she is going through puberty, but it might also be something deeper than that. ask her if she is comfortable with you and her only being able to see each other once a month and see what she says.

Awesome :D Thanks for that. It does help a lot. Since she moved away about a year and a half ago there have been some serious trust issues, and a few girls, including some of her friends, have taken a liking to me, which has put a lot of pressure on our relationship, so your suggestion that she might be wanting sex more in the hope of keeping me interested sounds like a pretty good shot. The only problem is that she's confirmed that she doesn't actually want the other foreplay any more, as quite possibly some other less intense physical things like making out, despite her knowing that I enjoy it. I'll certainly have a talk to her about it next time I see her and try putting it to her though.

[HAWAiiAN 808]

he's right, I went through the same thing. and because she might be going through puberty her libido has spiked sky high. But the best thing right now is conversation

thanks for replying to my post.



Awesome :D Thanks for that. It does help a lot. Since she moved away about a year and a half ago there have been some serious trust issues, and a few girls, including some of her friends, have taken a liking to me, which has put a lot of pressure on our relationship, so your suggestion that she might be wanting sex more in the hope of keeping me interested sounds like a pretty good shot. The only problem is that she's confirmed that she doesn't actually want the other foreplay any more, as quite possibly some other less intense physical things like making out, despite her knowing that I enjoy it. I'll certainly have a talk to her about it next time I see her and try putting it to her though.

glad i could help someone. I guess it kinda helps when you hear someone who went through the same thing. My suggestion of her trying to keep you interested in her by having sex is usually a regular occurring thing that i hear happen a lot between couples who are either separated by distance, or other things. But the main thing that are connecting these problems are trust issues between either one person or both people.

[Mrs.KermitTheFrogx]

Maybe she feels like thats all you want ...
And shes worried with having a long distance realitonship(im guessing)
You will want to dump her because you dont see eachother very often
ide talk to her about it for it nn then make your desicion x