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View Full Version : Her dad is ruining it. Please help.


Necroxfiendx07
December 31st, 2010, 02:29 PM
Ok so if anyone remembers me, i posted a string of topics explaining i wanted to get my ex back. So, Bout 4 or 5 days ago me and cari got back together. I finally snapped at her and she finally got the clue that i learned from my mistakes and deserved another chance. So that night i said "so are we official now?" and she said "well all i gotta do now is break up with matt (her kind-of boyfriend)". And i said "well we can start early :)" and she goes "are you sure youre ok with that?" and i said "yes, so long as you call him asap". Since then shes been working 12 hour days and hes up in pennsylvania for the holidays, so she hasnt gotten around to it yet. (which she later on feels wrong for, and may have contributed to her breaking up with me again) Nevertheless, we are together finally. Everything is perfect. We are acting as if we never broke up to begin with. Last night she gives me a call. She said her dad had a long talk with her. He threatened her if he ever saw me and her together again. He demanded that she cuts contact with me too. (which makes sense cause he hates me. A couple nights ago i was on the phone with cari and she told her mom she was talking to me. Her mom was happy and told the dad, who ended up flipping). Anyways, he goes on and on about how he thinks she has no time for a relationship now that shes working so much so she wouldnt be able to see me. anyways. Of course i knew what was coming next. She broke up with me again. She asked me to please understamd the best i can, said its hard for a daughter when their dads are like that. She apologized for hurting me, for not letting me move on. Then her dad took her phone so we had to cut it short. It ended with "goodbye; i love you" from each of us. This time i know shes honest cause i can hear her parents on the phone and i knew how her dad felt about me. So now im back to square one. Its too early to tell, but for all i know she could be ignoring me again, or if not, her dad still has her phone. Either way, im in limbo. I dont know what to do. I refuse to let it end like this. Do you think if this truly is the reason that it has to end, then me and cari will get back together eventually? (also keep in mind the whole matt thing. She told me she felt wrong about it, so one can assume that also played a role in her decision, even though shes still gonna end it with him). Regardless though, is there a chance for us again? If so, how do i manage to get that?

**update 1/5/10**
well, we last spoke on new years eve. She told me that things in her life are complicated, that life is complicated. She said she does love me, its just that life is moving too fast for her, that her dad is right. She said she needs a fresh new start, something new. She told me again that there is a chance for us on the future, and she followed with "At least i hope there is, lol". We haven't spoke since then. And it feels like its getting harder and harder each day trying NOT to contact her. She also mentioned that she doesnt think she can be happy with someone who's hurt her so much. She said she likes to think she can, but sh doesnt know. But admits that before her dad interfered it was going better. Now i really dont know what to do, because i still want this girl believe it or not. And if what shes saying is true about me and her in the future, what should i do? Let her come to me?

Mrs.KermitTheFrogx
December 31st, 2010, 02:34 PM
first of all imm sorry ...
but i saw your 18 ?
if she is 18 why is she still letting her dad be involved in problems like this ?
i think you need to move on
becuase if she cared about you that much she wouldlnt let her parents get involved in 'love'
i never doo :/x

Necroxfiendx07
December 31st, 2010, 02:40 PM
first of all imm sorry ...
but i saw your 18 ?
if she is 18 why is she still letting her dad be involved in problems like this ?
i think you need to move on
becuase if she cared about you that much she wouldlnt let her parents get involved in 'love'
i never doo :/x

Well, unfortunately she comes from a very strict, old school spanish family. And she does live under his roof. This is also a long distance relationship where i only saw her once a week. So now that she has a job it would be even less than that so her dad used that one against her.

Daniel_
December 31st, 2010, 08:33 PM
Shes 18. The most logical fix is for her to (wo)man up to her dad and tell him that shes dating you, and thats that.

However if she'd rather have her dad not mad at her then to be with you, then theres not much you can do. Just move on.

The Madness.
January 1st, 2011, 06:53 AM
Like everyone's said, she's a big girl now. She can make her own decisions. But I'm guessing she has a close relationship with her dad? If she does, I'm guessing your relationship probably won't come back. I'm going to have to agree with Daniel and say just move on. She obviously cares about what her father thinks, even if she's in a strict family, she still cares about his opinion. Obviously he's not changing his mind ever.

Mrs.KermitTheFrogx
January 2nd, 2011, 08:36 AM
I come from a very strict family
and when my mom found out i was bii she sent me to a boarding school in London
But i didnt change anything ... just learn to accept it ...
if you prove your actualy love her and earn her dads respect
he should slowly accept it !

Sage
January 2nd, 2011, 08:39 AM
Anthony, you've been posting threads about this girl for months now, and with each and every single one, you've broken up and gotten back together at least once. I really think this isn't a healthy way to live your life and I seriously think you need to move on. No girl is worth that much, and no matter how good you may think things are now, you can't simply act as though none of your on-and-off business never happened. At the end of the day, you'll do as you will, but I give up.

I think you're being extremely unwise in pursuing this and I have no further advice for you.

Necroxfiendx07
January 6th, 2011, 02:37 PM
Posted an update

Daniel_
January 6th, 2011, 04:43 PM
Posted an update

Dude. Just freaking forget it. Time to move on.

"She told me again that there is a chance for us on the future"

Fuck. That. Tell her if she "loves" you, she'd want you with her, and her "life is moving to fast" so no excuse.

Stop prolonging the inevitible. It's obviously just a waste of time trying to win her over, when shes clearly not interested. Just move on.

Necroxfiendx07
January 6th, 2011, 05:28 PM
I understand where you are coming from. But i do believe she loves me and does want to be with me. But with her dad down her throat it would be too difficult for her i guess. He doesnt wanna see her talking to me and we live an hour apart.

Daniel_
January 6th, 2011, 06:24 PM
I understand where you are coming from, but I do believe your fooling yourself. Her dad is just an excuse, because if she really loved you, she wouldn't care what her father thinks. She'd find a way.

Necroxfiendx07
January 6th, 2011, 06:44 PM
I understand where you are coming from, but I do believe your fooling yourself. Her dad is just an excuse, because if she really loved you, she wouldn't care what her father thinks. She'd find a way.

This is true. However, i do believe she loves me. I think theres somethig else that shes not telling me. She took me back 3 times and delt with my issues for a year and a half. Theres a part of her that does want me. I just want that part of her to overcome the rest. Idk what to do, whats my best be at having a chance at her again? Assuming everything she said is true.

Daniel_
January 6th, 2011, 07:34 PM
This is true.

You should have stopped there.

Sage
January 6th, 2011, 07:43 PM
Assuming everything she said is true.

You need to stop doing that. She's just saying these things to spare your feelings.

Rutherford The Brave
January 6th, 2011, 07:43 PM
This is true. However, i do believe she loves me. I think theres somethig else that shes not telling me. She took me back 3 times and delt with my issues for a year and a half. Theres a part of her that does want me. I just want that part of her to overcome the rest. Idk what to do, whats my best be at having a chance at her again? Assuming everything she said is true.

Not assuming, and knowing. Im going to say that you do not have a chance at all. So stop trying, Daddy said its a no go, its a no fucking go.