I think ive gone insane

[LittleEpidemic]

This morning my mum told me off for sleeping until 12 and to punish myself i cut again and now im starting to tidy my room and revise for my exams but instead of just doing this im walking around talkig to myself, telling myself what to do and calling myself every name under the sun. Ive told myself how many times i have to cut when i do certain things wrong and ive shouted at myself for being hungry.
I dont even know why im making this but im officially insane o.O

[FullyAlive]

I don't think your insane, you just have a problem. Do you receive counselling in any form or have you ever considered it?
But most importantly you don't need to punish yourself you've done nothing wrong. Please don't cut yourself as a punishment you don't deserve it. Any time you need to talk I'm here :) xx

[LittleEpidemic]

Nah ive always been alone in this battle "/
Well until i came on here and its helped
I dont no why i suddenly feel the need to cut for punishment cus like ive never done that before and ive never been one for rules ...
I really am not sure of anything anymore

[Harley Quinn]

You haven't done anything wrong, and like i say in many other threads of this nature, you do not deserve to hurt yourself in any way shape or form. You aren't crazy, you need help, and i won't tell you any different, because well, i've been there and i am receiving the help i need. Stop punishing yourself for something beyond your control, it isn't at all worth it.

[MadManWithaBox]

I don't think your insane. But you clearly have a problem. You're obviously going to be hungry. And you don't need to punish yourself, you did nothing wrong, and you shouldn't punish yourself anyway. You are not insane, but you do need to talk to someone. Talking to a professional is a good start, but talking to anyone will help.

[FullyAlive]

I really think you should talk to someone hopefully face to face but if not then on here.
We are all here for you.
One thing your definitely not is alone! :) xxx

[LittleEpidemic]

Ive calmed down alot now (:
That was very weird....
Thanks for your replys guys (yaaaay rhyming)
Ive got a few friends i can talk to but talking to an adult, as childish as this sounds, scares me a little so...

[FullyAlive]

That's ok but maybe you can just thinking about it you never know one day it might seem a little less scary :) xxx

[LittleEpidemic]

If i even wanted to i wouldnt know where to look "/

[FullyAlive]

Do you have any teachers you trust?

[LittleEpidemic]

My form teacher but she thinks im this happy peppy christian girl (which im not) and i dont think i could take her being dissapointed o.O

[FullyAlive]

I understand sometimes it feels like I'm putting on this act for the entire world.
But she won't be disappointed everyone has a phase in their life when they need an extra bit of help and this is yours.
It's nothing to be ashamed about I promise you she won't be disappointed in you they'll want to help.
:) xxx

[LittleEpidemic]

Well wer off until tuesday but i cant just go up to her and say 'miss im depressed, i cut myself and if i keep going the way i am ill be anorexic. Help me?' :L

[FullyAlive]

Im not sure my friends told my teacher but Maybe you could catch her at the end of form and ask for a quiet word you don't have to tell her everything just ask for a bit of support. And seriously any time you need to talk email me or something you really don't have to do this alone xxx

[LittleEpidemic]

I'll tell her when im definatly sure that i need more than just myself and vt
thanks for your help btw <3

[FullyAlive]

Ok but please try and stop I don't mean to be hypocritical but it's not good.
I hope you're ok xxx

[LittleEpidemic]

I am trying lol, i made it 6 days but went mad on my thigh last night cus i ate loaads and loads of chocolate so it hurts like mad.

[FullyAlive]

I messed up last night too I'd gone eight days but cut up my arm and my wrist because someone invited me to a new years eve party and I couldn't face going and having to be happy about a new year when I'm dreading it...
Sorry that you felt bad about the chocolate but remember it is Xmas
xxx

[LittleEpidemic]

luckily i could only find my blunt blade so it was all scratches until this morning where i found the sharp one and went mental again o.o
but ah well im still alive and i can get through it again^^

[FullyAlive]

Yeah we can both do it :)
It's only another slip up but this time I'm going to try for 9 days instead
Xxx

[LittleEpidemic]

yeah because i improved by 4 days im doing to try and get 10 days this time.