not so sure anymore [Archive] - Virtual Teen Forums

Barelythere

November 12th, 2006, 08:02 PM

is it normal that im not angry?
i mean im not angry at my cousin or my dad or mom or anyone who has ever hurt me, i just feel sorry for them

i hate that i dont hate them (if that makes any sence) but i dont and i dont no why

mom thinks im taking recent events too well, and things im gunna crumble soon, i think i agree with the crumbling part!

and i just trying to deny that it happened or repress it? is it ok to do that? does any one no?

thanx xoxox

infextus disease

November 12th, 2006, 09:29 PM

looking on the bright side of things is the best thing anyone can do for themselves

mRojas2000

November 13th, 2006, 08:22 AM

Yes, looking at the bright side is good, but doesn't mean she doesn't have to hate/dislike them... I don't think its not normal since we all think differently, but at least you've got to dislike them after all they did... just don't worry about it, but don't make it obvious because then you'll turn their pupet...

Bobby

November 13th, 2006, 03:26 PM

You dont have to hate them but you have to think... is what they did to you fair? Would they like to be treated like that?

Sapphire

November 14th, 2006, 03:29 AM

There is no set guide saying "you should feel this" or "you should feel that" I'm no expert, but I think you are not angry because you have a very low self-esteem. Correct me if I'm wrong. But when one has such a low sense of worth then they are less likely to be angered by maltreatment as it ties in with their perception of themselves.

Repression is a healthy defense mechanism of unconsciously forgetting events that would otherwise be too painful. If this is what is going on then don't worry too much. It is just your mind trying to protect you a bit more.

Diego is right though. Look at it and ask yourself is it fair that they treated you that way?

infextus disease

November 14th, 2006, 04:09 PM

harrie you said you hated that but not them... its sounds to me like youve seperated the link of association of their act and them... n that is not a very common trait... idk where im going with this post exactly i just found it interesting that you disassociated them

Barelythere

November 14th, 2006, 07:15 PM

its not v common? is it bad then?

and whats dissassociated mean?

i no that i dont think of my cousin and him raping me, i think of it just being something that happened that is not really abig deal at all, and ppl r just makin a fuss over nothing, and everyone wants to talk about these feeling im ment to have, but i dont have them and so i dont wanna talk,

bout my dad, yer i no he hurts me, but appart from when he actually is doin it, i dont think of him like that, i think of him as my grumpy dad, just like everyone elses

i think of my cousin, as just my cousin who loves sport, my mom as just a mom, who laughs and has fun, like everyone elses, unless it is happenening i am not thinking of them any of them as my abusers or w/e, they are just ppl in my life, is that not normal?

infextus disease

November 15th, 2006, 02:02 AM

most people dont say i hate what they did to me, not them.... most people say i hate them for what they did to me... n dissassociated means youve broken the link or you no longer think of one thing with out relating it to something that occured along with that.

think of a cat and a food bag, you rattle the bag the cat knows its getting fed. it has associated that sound with getting fed. now lets say you rattle the bag but dont feed the cat, for a while the cat will still come expecting food but soon it will dissassociate that sound with being fed and will no longer expect to be fed when it hears the sound.

in your case their names and faces or presence does not remind you of their acts.

and it is a big deal, more than you might think it is... because it might become a repeat occurance if nothing is done at an early stage to make them realize that their actions are wrong and unnaceptable.

as for not feeling anything bornagain is right that repression or a sence of feeling numb towards the situation is normal. and that it is natural reaction caused by your brain or psychie. however repressed feelings over a long period of time can cuase some severe repercussions or after-effects

Sapphire

November 15th, 2006, 07:26 AM

Dissassociation is only dangerous when, as infextus disease said, it prevents steps being taken to stop these events (rape and abuse) from happening again.

Are you getting help to learn how to deal with what has happened to you?

Barelythere

November 16th, 2006, 05:28 AM

no, i spoke to one councellor but she was no help and i REALLY dont like her, she laughted at me when i first said it! so im not goin back, but other than that no one is really talking to me about it, or how i feel about it or what is goin to happen, ive just bn forgoten about and left in the dark with it all really, im not goin back to the councellor tho i really dont get on well with her, and all every one seems to want to talk about is feelings and, well i dont really have any towards it so i dont want to talk about that stuff, stupid feeling and emotions that i should and dont really have about something so pathetic and small, why bother, cryings not goin to make it undo theres just no point in crying or feeling sorry for my self, and i do feel anger, but only towards me, i let my self be the victim i let it happen, its my fault what will happen to my cousin and my family, no matter what anyone says i no its my fault and nothing will change that, this is why i cant ratt on my dad either, i dont think i could cope with the guilt of doing that as well.

northskater110

November 16th, 2006, 03:53 PM

you should feel sry for them, having to take their anger out on somebody, pathetic and worthless...........................

Barelythere

November 16th, 2006, 04:56 PM

you should feel sry for them, having to take their anger out on somebody, pathetic and worthless...........................

your saying their pathetic and worthless right? not me? just coz im not sure there, sorry

mattrg47

December 30th, 2006, 04:32 AM