zebravomt
December 26th, 2010, 12:09 PM
I have to take care of every fucking one. i have this burden of when something happens it my fault. i cant take it any more. with all the shit that happened to me why still bring me down, why still push me to do bad things. i never did anything. i try so FUCKING hard to do just what you want but you still push and push. i have 100% blocked out all feelings and where has that gotten my? Even farther down then before.
My child hood dog it now in pain and in the pound, your family is crying inside, my family is crying. im on the verge or a meltdown (thats why i would go to walmart lol) you dont know that shit i take just to make you happy. you dont know what i went through, and to do that all over? It make no sense.
Sorry if you some strong cristan so u might not want to read what i have to say.
everyone is telling me that go will save me, he will make my problems go away, he will get rid of all my sins. well when i was 8, and i sat down next to my bad, and prayed over and over to make the pain go away where were you? Why did you just push more shit iover my way? Maybe this is why i dont give a shit about you anymore.
I really cant take this anymore. i cant breath. am am just about fall and not get up. just lay there, hopeless, witch i am already. im hopeless, no one can come save me now, no one is there fo me any more. i have no fucking one!
now let me ask you one thing, every night when tears fall down my face, do you just stand there and watch me cry, just to know that your more powerful then me, just to know that you win. you win you win you FUCKING WIN!
how d you sleep at night knowing that all my pain is your fault. if your there and you just forgot i was alive, why did you let this happen? why did you not do something. your a lie, your whole life is a lie. you cant do SHIT to help me. the damage is dont and now i cant move, because of you.
im so sorry for my rant but i cant take life anymore, im to much of a wimp to killl myself. but im not a wimp to just leave. i want to packup my thing and just get walking. i have no idea where but when i heard about the news that happended this morening i just started to cry. i fell down i started to pull at my hair. i then started to pack my shit and i sat on the steps of my front door. looking into the snow. i almost had the guts to get up and walking but i only had 20$.
what in need is someone to tell me what to do, i am clueless.
My child hood dog it now in pain and in the pound, your family is crying inside, my family is crying. im on the verge or a meltdown (thats why i would go to walmart lol) you dont know that shit i take just to make you happy. you dont know what i went through, and to do that all over? It make no sense.
Sorry if you some strong cristan so u might not want to read what i have to say.
everyone is telling me that go will save me, he will make my problems go away, he will get rid of all my sins. well when i was 8, and i sat down next to my bad, and prayed over and over to make the pain go away where were you? Why did you just push more shit iover my way? Maybe this is why i dont give a shit about you anymore.
I really cant take this anymore. i cant breath. am am just about fall and not get up. just lay there, hopeless, witch i am already. im hopeless, no one can come save me now, no one is there fo me any more. i have no fucking one!
now let me ask you one thing, every night when tears fall down my face, do you just stand there and watch me cry, just to know that your more powerful then me, just to know that you win. you win you win you FUCKING WIN!
how d you sleep at night knowing that all my pain is your fault. if your there and you just forgot i was alive, why did you let this happen? why did you not do something. your a lie, your whole life is a lie. you cant do SHIT to help me. the damage is dont and now i cant move, because of you.
im so sorry for my rant but i cant take life anymore, im to much of a wimp to killl myself. but im not a wimp to just leave. i want to packup my thing and just get walking. i have no idea where but when i heard about the news that happended this morening i just started to cry. i fell down i started to pull at my hair. i then started to pack my shit and i sat on the steps of my front door. looking into the snow. i almost had the guts to get up and walking but i only had 20$.
what in need is someone to tell me what to do, i am clueless.