Sister Dead, depressed girlfriend, no one to talk to.

[SilenceForSilence]

Hey all. I haven't cut in a really long time. It's been almost a year, but It's been really hae for me to not. The main reason I don't is because my Girlfriend will cut if I do and I won't let that happen. I keep seeing life for what it is and it's awful sometimes. I have a great family, but my girlfriend lives in what was once an abusive household, and things aren't much better. I feel so guilty for being so lucky. I also think about my sister and realize that I will NEVER get to see her again. That concept hurts really bad. She has kids and they are really great, but I still can't bear to realize that she's gone. I'm trying really hard not to cut right now. This is my second christmas without my sister, who died almost two years ago. Time flies on without loved ones. I feel like I never finished my business. I feel like I got saved from cutting too early. i feel the need to hurt again. I never cut very bad and I always traced over to keep them small and concealable. I'm off medication for it now. Been off it for a while. I just feel like I have to go back, or I'll never be able to be at peace with myself. I don't want to die right now. It's just time for me to really hurt. Deeper cuts, dangerous depths, testing my body. I don't want to but my scars are screaming and stinging wanting me to do it. Please. None of my friends are willing to talk to me about this, and I don't want to depress my girlfriend anymore. Someone give me advice. Listening to choral tunes by Eric Whitacre until someone answers. Merry Christmas.

[Njathind]

Buddy, is it really worth making new marks on your beautiful body after so long without? I dont mean to be a hypocrite but cutting really isnt worth it. Its an endless cycle of short term gain long term pain. I'm so sorry about your sister, I cant even begin to imagine how it must feel to live without her :( If you wanna talk then post me a visitor message on my profile. I'm here for you.

C'mon, lets have a man hug :D :hug:

[Kaya]

I'm here if you want to talk. Everything will be ok. I don't know what it's like to lose your sister..but I did lose my little brother who passed away last January. It's hard not to hurt yourself (trust me I know this) but you just have to keep fighting. It's not worth it. You have to go through all the pain, the itching, having to be hot in long sleeve shirts and pants. You have to risk infection.

Ask yourself...is that really what you want to have to go through.
I'm not one to talk right now... but I want you to know that you don't have to go through this alone.

Welcome to VT, My name is Kayla.
And I care.

[SilenceForSilence]

Thanks for answering. I'm still doing alright. I still haven't cut. I'm just tired and it's been sooo long. I miss having friends to talk to. My first was really supportive until she told me I was too clingy and needed more friends. The other was also really supportive but gave me the cold shoulder randomly one day, probably because she was a self-harmer herself and I was bringing her down. Then there's my girlfriend, but she's got enough to deal with so I can't/won't bother her about it.
kayla.khemical I'm very sorry for your loss and I have the same offer to you if you ever want to talk.
I think right now I'm ok. Trying to distract myself to not think about cutting. Take care all. If you're willing, pray to whatever power you believe in for me and anyone else struggling. :) Thanks

[MuzicIz4ever]

I hate to just comment without a word of advice but I have to ask... Is this Nick..?.... Please be honest because if it's you you can trust me-remember new years? Only I would know about that... and If it's not you then damn me you must be his twin.
....I apologize otherwise.

Good luck.

[SilenceForSilence]

No it's not. I'm sorry if our life is too close for comfort. My name is John. Sorry.

[Charleigh]

im here if you ever want to talk, just pm me or send me a visitor message (:
:hug:

[Invisible Heroine]

If you need someone to talk to I'm here